OCR | |
 | The Getting Of Wisdom Richardson, Henry Handel (1870-1946) University of Sydney Library Sydney 1998 |
| http://setis.library.usyd.edu.au/ozlit © University of Sydney Library. The texts and Images are not to b[...]tation marks retained as data All unambiguous end-of-line hyphens have been removed, and the trailing[...]9 Peter McNieceStaff Proof-reading and correction of spelling errors against printed edition. The Getting Of Wisdom London Heinemann 1931 |
| The Getting Of Wisdom Wisdom is the principal thing; therefore get wisdom: and with all thy getting get understanding. Proverbs, iV. 7 |
| [...]ike green velvet — and the Prince saw the marks of travel on her garments. The bottom of the lovely silk dress was all dirty ---- ” “[...]ed Laura angrily. —“Well, as I said, the edge of her robe was all muddy — no, I don't think I wi[...]in golden sandals peeping out from under the hem of the silken gown, and ---- ” “But what about the marks of travel?” asked Leppie. “Donkey! haven't I sa[...]h, parrakeets!” cried little Frank. Four pairs of eyes went up to the bright green flock that was p[...]pie. “No, not another word. You can only think of sheets and parrakeets.” “Please, Wond[...] |
| [...]t, with the dress in her hand. Laura wriggled out of the one she had on, and stood stiffly and ungraci[...]rt,” said Laura, looking down. “Tt's nothing of the kind,” said Mother, with her mouth full of pins. “Tt is, it's much too short.” Mother[...]it I'd like to know!” said Mother, on the verge of losing her temper over the back folds, which woul[...], so different was it from her own hearty fashion of venting displeasure. Pin began to sniff, in sheer[...]her, now angry in earnest, got up and bounced out of the room. “Laura, how can you?” said Pin, di[...]he other girls will have dresses down to the tops of their boots, and they'll laugh at me, and call me a baby;” and touched by the thought of what lay before her, she, too, began to sniffle.[...]o roll the dress up and to throw it unto a corner of the room. She also kicked the ewer, which[...] |
| [...]when Mother in a sorry voice said:“I'm ashamed of you, Laura. And on your last day, too,” her thr[...]ah called her“high-stomached”, to the delight of the other children and her own indignation; she h[...]ut had no time to gather them, a bouquet the size of a cabbage. Pin and the boys were summoned to help[...]s were full, Laura led the way to a secluded part of the garden on the farther side of the detached brick kitchen. In this strip, which[...]es screened the fence; jessamine climbed the wall of the house and encircled the bedroom windows; and[...]ts here rather than in the big garden at the back of the house; and many were the times they had all b[...]h a darker border, the whole surrounded by a ring of violet leaves 7 she looked about for something to[...]o string in the kitchen, so Pin ran to get a reel of cotton. But while she was away Laura had a[...] |
| [...]naged to grab, without losing her balance, a pair of scissors from the chest of drawers. With these between her teeth she emerged, to the excited interest of the boys who watched her open-mouthed. Laura had[...]ng early, Mother brushed and twisted, with a kind of grim pride, these silky ringlets round her finge[...]d were durance vile to Laura, the child was proud of her hair in her own way; and when in the street s[...]m among these long, glossy curls, she now cut one of the longest and most spiral, cut it off close to[...]ent: they looked upon her as the personification of all that was startling and unexpected. But Pin, returning with the reel ofof her perpetual wateriness. “Be a cry-baby, do.” But she was not damped, she was lost in the pleasure of self-sacrifice. Pin looked after her as[...] |
| [...]Laura did not go indoors; hiding against the wall of the flagged verandah, she threw her bouquet in at[...]her, recognised the peace- offering, and thought of the surprise cake that was to go into Laura's box[...]owers in water for her, and that would be the end of it. The idea of a word of thanks would have made Laura feel uncomfortable. Now, however, at the tone of Mother's voice, her mouth set stubbornly. She wen[...]you to bed without any supper!” — an unheard-of threat on the part of Mother, who punished her children in any way but that of denying them their food.“It's a very good thing[...]ld have four naughty children on my hands instead of one. — But I'd be ashamed to go to school such[...]n't,” said Mother, who was vexed at the thought of the child going among strangers thus disfigured.[...]hem in the passage. “Well, you 'ave made a guy of yourself this time, Miss Laura, and no mis[...] |
| [...]she stealthily made a chink and took in the slice of cake Pin had left on the door-mat. Her natural buoyancy of spirit was beginning to reassert itself. By brush[...]ad retired — Mother smiled a stern little smile of amusement to herself; and before locking u[...] |
| [...]nightgown to her, in such a way as to expose all ofof legs — she was“all belly” as Sarah put it — and the mere mention of it made Pin fly; for she was very touchy about he[...]n as the door closed behind her, Laura sprang out of bed and, waiting neither to wash herself nor to s[...]e 'ad a row on your last day.” Laura stole out of the door and ran down the garden to the summer- house. This, the size of a goodly room, was formed of a single dense, hairy-leafed tree, round the trunk of which a seat was built. Here she cowered, her elb[...]e wore the stiff expression that went by the name of “Laura's sulks,” but her eyes were big, and as watchful as those of a scared animal. If Sarah came to fetch her she w[...]e — about a week ago Mother had tried this kind of thing. Then, she had been caught unawares.[...] |
| [...]oys had been allowed to paste on this a big sheet of notepaper, which bore, in Mother's writing, the w[...]but also with a side-glance at the generous pile of bread and meat growing under Mother's hands. “[...]hungry enough by this evening I can tell you, not getting any dinner.” Pin's face fell at this prospect.[...]ft little heart going to school began to seem one of the blackest experiences life held. “Why, she'[...]and choked down a lump in her throat with a gulp of tea. But when Pin had gone with Sarah to pick som[...]coming this morning, if I didn't give you a penny of pocket-money to take to school.” Laura had hea[...]ought it wiser not to reply. Gobbling up the rest of her breakfast she slipped away. With the other children at her heels she made a round of the garden, bidding good-bye to things and[...] |
| [...]mb to the very tree-top; there was the wilderness of bamboo and cane where she had been Crusoe; the an[...]Passing behind a wooden fence which was a tangle of passion-flower, she opened the door of the fowl-house, and out strutted the mother-hen followed by her pretty brood. Laura had given each of the chicks a name, and she now took Napoleon and[...]movements in respectful silence. Between the bars of the rabbit hutch she thrust enough greenstuff to[...]accompanied by a legless magpie, which, in spite of its infirmity, hopped cheerily and quickly on it[...]o. The chicks'll be all right. Sarah'll take care of them, 'cause of the eggs. But Maggy and the bunnies don't have eg[...]o forget; but Laura was not satisfied until each of them in turn had repeated, in a low voice,[...] |
| [...]strip to the skin. The boys announced the coming of the coach with shrill cries, and simultaneously the rumble of wheels was heard. Sarah came from the kitchen dry[...]’, not 'er.” The ramshackle old vehicle, one of Cobb's Royal Mail Coaches, big- bodied, lumbering[...]k at 'em, will you? — But my! Ain't you ashamed of yourself’ — he spoke to Pin —“pipin' your[...]— they were to ride with Laura to the outskirts of the township. The little boys giggled excitedly a[...]oots if you get your feet wet. And don't lean out of the window in the train.” For some time past Laura had had need of all her self-control, not to cry |
| [...]dressing, she had resorted to counting the number of times the profile of a Roman emperor appeared in the flowers on the wallpaper. Now the worst moment of all was come — the moment of good-bye. She did not look at Pin, but she heard[...]d-bye.” She could not, however, restrain a kind of dry sob, which jumped up her throat. When she wa[...]wiches. And when you're alone, feel in the pocket of your ulster and you'll find something nice. Good-[...]hem elsewhere.” But she sighed again, in spite of the energy of her words, and stood gazing at the place where th[...]s still a comparatively young woman, and straight of body; but trouble, poverty and night-watches had[...]spoke absently, drawing her metaphor from a brood of chickens which had strayed across the road[...] |
| children,” said Sarah with impatience.“You think of nothin' else. It 'ud be a great deal better if yo[...]ides I guess school'll knock all the nonsense out of 'er.” “Oh, I hope they won't be too hard on[...]se the gate. This had not entered into her scheme of work for the day, and her cooking was still undon[...]ress, as she otherwise would have made no scruple of doing; for she knew that nothing was more helpful[...]days”. For the drawing-room was the storehouse of what treasures had remained over from a past pros[...]o listen, had with time gathered some vague ideas of a country like“Inja”, for example, whe[...] |
| [...]d- haired daughter, should put her fuzzy head out of the window — for Miss Perrotet had also been to boarding-school, and thought very highly of herself in consequence, though it had only been f[...]tores and the flour-mill, and were come to a part of the road where the houses were fewer, her tears b[...]ry last house was left behind, the high machinery of the claims came into view, the watery flats where[...]s dismay at Pin, and as little Frank showed sighs of beginning, too, by puckering up his face and doub[...]had the stomach- ache. Laura had one more glimpse of the children standing hand in hand — even in he[...]m her sight. She was alone in the capacious body of the coach, alone, and the proud excitement of parting was over. The staunchly repressed[...] |
| [...]ut sat clutching her handkerchief and staring out of the window. The woman's good-natured curiosity, h[...]D'you hear? — Why, whatever's your ma thinkin' of to send such a little chick as you to boardin'-sc[...]lone, too.” Laura's face took on a curious air of dignity. “T'm not so very little,” she answe[...]gh: the widow, Laura's mother, had the reputation of being very “stuck-up”, and of bringing up her children in the same way.[...] |
| [...]The woman said:“Tch, tch, tch!” at the length of the journey Laura was undertaking, and Peter, gro[...]er in declining it; she was mortified at the idea of being bribed, as it were, to be good, just as though she were Pin or one of the little boys. It was a punishment on her for h[...]so familiar. — The very largeness and rosiness of the fruit made it hateful to her, and she turned over in her mind how she could get rid of it. As the coach bumped along, her fellow-passen[...]the driver's pleasant face appeared at the window of the coach. In one hand he held a glass, in the other a bottle of lemonade. “Here, little woman, have a drink. I[...]” Now this was quite different from the matter of the apple. Laura's throat was parched with[...] |
| [...]the leprous Chinaman's hut and the market garden of Ah Chow, who twice a week jaunted at a half-trot[...]coach had halted to apply the brakes, at the top of the precipitous hill that led down to the railway[...]il, and seemed hardly able to crawl. At the foot of the hill the little town lay sluggish in the sun.[...]the chief claims were worked out; and the coming of the railway had been powerless to give it the imp[...]ew life. It was always like this in these streets of low, verandahed, red-brick houses, always dull an[...]was, was invariably to be found before the doors of the many public-houses. At one of these the coach stopped and unloaded its goods, f[...]nd Laura drew back in confusion from the laughter of a group of larrikins round the door. It was indeed high tim[...]believed she had safely hidden under the cushions of the coach. Red to the roots of her hair she had to receive it before a number of heads put out to see what the matter was, and she[...]me to Melbourne.” Directly the train was clear of the station, she lowered a window and, taking aim[...]le from her with all her might. Then she hung out of the window, as far out as she could, till[...] |
| [...]e by herself, and there was an intoxicating sense of freedom in being locked in, alone, within the narrow compass of the compartment. She was at liberty to do everyth[...]When she had finished, had brushed herself clean of crumbs and handled, till her finger-tips were so[...]she had found in her pocket, she fell to thinking of them at home, and of what they would now be doing. It was between two and three o'clock: the sun would be full on the flagstones of the back verandah; inch by inch Pin and Leppie wo[...]l be sitting there, still sewing, when the shadow of the fir tree, which at noon was shrunken like a[...]en had opened the front gate to play in the shade of the public footpath. 7 At the thought of these shadows, of all the familiar things she would not see again f[...]nto motion again, she fell into a pleasanter line of thought. She painted to herself, for the hundredt[...]ol, and in a spacious apartment, which was a kind of glorified Mother's drawing-room, was being introduced to a bevy of girls. They clustered round, urgent to make the acquaintance of the newcomer, who gave her hand to each with an e[...], and so short that it did not cover the flounce of her dress, and this dress, and her hat wit[...] |
| though they stood agape at her cleverness: none of them could claim to have absorbed the knowledge of a whole house. With one of her admirers she had soon formed a friendship that was the wonder of all who saw it: in deep respect the others drew back, forming a kind of allée, down which, with linked arms, the two fri[...]selves. — And having embarked thus upon her sea of dreams, Laura set sail and was speedily borne awa[...]alongside a gravelled platform, among the stones of which a few grass-blades grew. This was Melbourne. At the nearer end of the platform stood two ladies, one stout and elde[...]it caused the speaker, with the showy red lining of her hat, at which she believed their eyes[...] |
| [...]was her especial favourite and she made no secret of it. Her companion on the platform was a cousin of Laura's, of at least twice Laura's age, who invariably struck awe into the children by her loud and ironic manner of speech. She was an independent, manly person, in spite of her plump roundnesses; she lived by herself in lo[...]essed whether it could be got on to the back seat of the pony-carriage, to which it was conveyed by a[...]guess she'll be thanking her stars she's got rid of you;” at which Laura smiled uncertainly, not be[...]jest or earnest. “IT suppose you think no end of yourself going to boarding-school?” continued t[...]ned her whole wardrobe; and she wondered how many of Godmother's own ample gowns could be compressed i[...]eath, that you may be as well dressed as the rest of them,” said Godmother, and heaved a doleful sig[...]laughed the wide laugh that displayed a mouthful of great healthy teeth. “What? All your cl[...] |
| [...]the allusion, which referred to a former ambition of Laura's. “Don't talk such nonsense to the child[...]: the pony-chaise wobbled at random from one side of the road to the other, obstacles looming up only[...]ook and tossed their heads at the constant sawing of the bits, and Laura had to be continually ducking, to keep out of the way of the reins. She let the unfamiliar streets go past her in a kind of dream; and there was silence for a time, broken o[...]with the ponies, till Cousin Grace, growing tired of playing her bright eyes first on this, then on th[...]natch the hat from her head, to throw it in front of the ponies and hear them trample it under their hoofs. She had never wanted the scarlet lining of the big, upturned brim; in a dislike to being con[...]he pretended not to notice, and for the remainder of the drive nobody spoke. They went past long lines of grey houses, joined one to another and built exac[...]ast large, fenced-in public parks where all kinds of odd, unfamiliar trees grew, with branches that ra[...]; the wind, coming in puffs, met them with clouds of gritty white dust. |
| [...]ds, their hands at their hats, passed through one of these miniature whirlwinds, when turning a corner[...]d behind them. To Laura, who came from a township of one-storied brick or weatherboard houses, it seem[...]patch on the carpet. It showed up, too, a coating of dust that had gathered on the desk-like, central table. There was the faint, distinctive smell of strange furniture. But what impressed Laura most[...]he massy walls, but neither did the faintest echo of all that might be taking place in the great build[...]herself; and inconsequently remembered a quarter of an hour she had once spent in a dentist's ante-ro[...]an to seem as if they might sit on for ever. All of a sudden, from out the spacious halls of which they had caught a glimpse on arrivin[...] |
| [...]Godmother as Mrs. Gurley, the Lady Superintendent of the institution, she drew up a chair, let herself down upon it, and began to converse with an air of ineffable condescension. While she talked Laura[...]st for detail. Mrs. Gurley was large and generous of form, and she carried her head in such a haughty[...]black apron with white flowers on it, one point of which was pinned to her ample bosom. The fact tha[...]was being said. Awful, too, was the habit she had of suddenly lowering her head and looking at you over the tops of her glasses: when she did this, and when her teet[...]r lip, you would have liked to shrink to the size of a mouse. Godmother, it was true, was not afraid of her; but Cousin Grace was hushed at last and as f[...]ink she's very nice,” said Laura staunchly, out of an instinct that made her chary of showing fear, or pain, or grief. But her h[...] |
| [...]the tease had just begun afresh, when the opening of the door forced her to swallow her sentence in th[...]Mrs. Gurley smiled the chilliest thinkable smile of acknowledgment, and did not reply a word. She es[...]for them to pass out. Then, however, her pretence of affability faded clean away: turning her head jus[...]were shining, and began to ascend another flight of stairs, which was the widest Laura had ever seen. The banisters were as thick as your arm, and on each side of the stair-carpeting the space was broad enough for two to walk abreast: what a splendid game of trains you could have played there! On the other[...]so high up that only a giant could have seen out of them. These things occurred to Laura mechanicall[...]t once, to get nearer to the portly back in front of her. |
| [...]the admiration, thus subtly expressed in the form of surprise, would flatter Mrs. Gurley, as a kind of co-proprietor; but it was evident that it did nothing of the sort: the latter seemed to have gone deaf and[...]he top floor she led the way to a room at the end of a long passage. There were four beds in this room, a washhand — stand, a chest of drawers, and a wall cupboard. But at first sight[...]ly for the familiar object that stood at the foot of one ofof this, Laura grew warm through and through; and as[...]ped her work, and, resting her hands on the sides of the box, gave Laura one of the dreaded looks over her glasses, looked at her[...]ee her. There was a pause, a momentary suspension of the breath, which Laura soon learned to expect be[...]ls,” said Mrs. Gurley — and even in the midst of her confusion Laura could not but be struck by the pronunciation of this word.“Little gels — are required — to[...]t scarlet: if there was one thing she, Mother all of them prided themselves on, it was the good manner[...]hen, however, something happened which held a ray of hope. “Why, what is this?” asked Mrs. Gurley freezingly, and held up to view — with the tips of her fingers, Laura thought — a small, bl[...] |
| [...]“Well... no, I'm not,” said Laura, in a tone ofof the kind,” she retorted.“I myself, am an Episcopalian, and I expect those gels, who belong to the Church of England, to attend it, with me.” The unpacking[...]moothed down her apron, and was just on the point of turning away, when on the bed opposite Laura's sh[...]the counterpane. At this blot on the orderliness of the room she seemed to swell like a turkey-cock,[...]pened and a girl came in, high-coloured and scant of breath. Laura darted one glance at Mrs. Gurley's face, then looked away and studied the pattern of a quilt, trying not to hear what was said. Her th[...]h sandy eyebrows, a turned-up nose, a thick plait of red-gold hair, and a figure so fully developed th[...]ugh the floor. Her lashes were lowered, in a kind of dog-like submission, and her face had gone very r[...]aura was deeply hurt: she had gazed at Lilith out of the purest sympathy. And now, as she stood waitin[...]who seemed to have forgotten her, the strangeness of things, and the general unfriendliness of the people struck home with full force. The late[...]strange noises, a strange white dust, the expanse of a big, strange city. She felt |
| unspeakably far away now, from the small, snug domain of home. Here, nobody wanted her . . . she was alone[...]she had already, without meaning it, offended two of them. Another second, and the shameful tears mig[...]heir way out. But at this moment there was a kind of preparatory boom in the distance, and the next, a[...]dus from the rooms round about; there was a sound of voices and of feet. Mrs. Gurley ceased to give orders in the pa[...]y paused and smoothed her already faultless bands of hair; then turned the handle and opened th[...] |
| [...]s turned as if by clockwork, and fifty-five pairs of eyes were levelled at the small girl in the white apron who meekly followed Mrs. Gurley down the length of the dining-room. Laura crimsoned under the unexpe[...], and tried to fix her attention on the flouncing of Mrs. Gurley's dress. The room seemed hundreds of feet long, and not a single person at the tea-tables but took stock of her. The girls made no scruple of leaning backwards and forwards, behind and before[...]fty-five had drawn in their chairs with the noise of a cavalry brigade on charge. She stood up again i[...]our tables, with a governess at the head and foot of each to pour out tea. It was more of a hall than a room and had high, church-like windows down one side. At both ends were scores of pigeon-holes. There was a piano in it and a fireplace; it had pale blue walls, and only strips of carpet on the floor. At present it was darkish, f[...]ing, she found her neighbour offering her a plate of bread. “No, thank you,” she said impulsively[...]d no. Humbly she accepted the butter and the cup of tea which were passed to her in turn, and as humbly ate the piece of rather stale bread. She felt forlornly miserable under the fire of all these unkind eyes, which took a deligh[...] |
| [...]rry to leave the hall, and no one took any notice of her except to stare. After some indecision, she f[...]he found herself on a verandah facing the grounds of the school. There was a long bench, on which seve[...]e sitting: she took a modest seat at one end. Two of the younger governesses looked at her and laughed[...]oom-mate, Lilith Gordon, arm in arm with a couple of companions. The winker of the tea- table turned out to be a girl of her own age, but of a broader make; she had fat legs, which were enca[...]re up came two rather rollicking older girls, one of whom was fair, with a red complexion. AS soon as[...]voices had driven the governess away, the smaller of the two, who had a pronounced squint, turned to L[...]tlessly replied. She was dumbfounded by the storm of merriment that followed. Maria Morell, the[...] |
| [...]“Where do you come from?” the squint demanded of Laura, in a business-like way. Laura named the t[...]dead?” “A barrister.” “What did he die of?” “Consumption.” “How many servants do[...]a friend, ran to her, and there was a great deal of whispering and sniggering. Presently the pair cam[...]oud and fussy manner, about certain acquaintances of hers called Tweedledum and Tweedledee. Both the f[...]ur father?” she turned on her, with the courage of despair. “What's yours?” she retorted hotly,[...]t saviour, promenading the grounds like any other of the fifty-five. She assumed, as well as she could, an air of feeling at her ease even in |
| the presence of the cold and curious looks that met her. The fat[...]ack her head and laughed anew, at the remembrance of Laura's patronymics; or that she still exchanged[...]a made her way back to the dining-hall. Here some of the very young boarders were preparing their less[...]hreaded her way to the more authoritative-looking of the governesses in charge, and proffered her requ[...], thick nose which made her profile resemble that of a horse.“Can't you twiddle your thumbs for a bi[...]rhood laughed noiselessly, in a bounden-duty kind of way, at their superior's pleasantry, and Laura, f[...]e toying with a long gold chain, after the manner of the Lady Superintendent. “Didn't Mrs. G[...] |
| [...]way, her books left lying on a chair. But instead of picking them up, she threw herself on her bed and[...]in the pillow. She did not dare to cry, for fear ofof vengeance flashed through her young mind. She did[...]poison or the knife: a big cake, sent by Mother, of which she invited all alike to partake, and into[...]d only just time to spring to her feet before one of the little girls appeared at the door. “You're[...]nd all the little girls langhed, after the manner of their elders. Before Laura had finished arrangin[...]gs on the shelves that were assigned to her, some of the older girls began to drop in from the study.[...]s see what the kid's got.” Now Laura was proud of her collection: it really made a great show; for a daughter of Godmother's had once attended the College, and he[...]Wherever did you learn Latin?” In the reediest of voices Laura was forced to confess that sh[...] |
| norm, from the traditional method of purchasing each book new and as it was needed, hi[...]tion. But Miss Zielinski, who lost no opportunity of making herself agreeable to those over her, said[...]aura was summoned and made to sit down at the end of the room, close to the governesses and beside the very big girls — girls of eighteen and nineteen, who seemed older still to[...]elt that they resented her proximity. The biggest of all, a pleasant-faced girl with a kind smile, sai[...]se to their feet and sang, with halting emphasis, of the Redeemer and His mercy, to Miss Chapman's acc[...]r the right. “Let us read in the third chapter of the Second Epistle of Paul to the |
| [...]dy gentleman read to a continual nervous movement of the left leg. “Let us pray.” Obeying the wo[...]ayer, and a long one, and Laura did not hear much of it; for the two big girls on her right kept up th[...]s, and left the room. This was the signal for two of the teachers to advance with open Bibles. “Her[...]d Laura's pleasant neighbour. Laura knew nothing of it; but the big girl lent her a Bible, and, since[...]very girl repeated it, it was quickly learned. I wisdom dwell with prudence and find out knowledge of witty inventions. Told off in batches, th[...] |
| [...]she scolds you and I think Miss Chapman is afraid of her to. Miss Day is not afraid of anybody. I am in the first class. I am in the Col[...]nd butter and water if we don't have cake and jam of our own. Please send me some strawberry jam and a[...]the girls call her that. You WOULD be frightened of her. In the afternoon after school we walk two |
| [...]hey will meet them up behind a tree in the corner of the garden a paling is lose and the boys put lett[...]te sister Laura. PS. I took the red lineing out of my hat. Warrenega Sunday. My dear Laura We we[...]Godmother was good enough to write us an account of your arrival so that we were not quite without news of you. I hope you remembered to thank her for drivi[...]et you and take you to school which was very good of her. I am glad to hear you are settling down and[...]d and distinguish yourself so that I may be proud of you. But there are several things in your letters[...]insisted on her showing it to me and I am ashamed of you for writing such nonsense to her. Maria Morel[...]ain to Mrs. Gurley or Mr. Strachey about the tone of the College and what goes on behind their backs. I think it is very rude of you too to call Mrs. Gurley names. Also ab[...] |
| [...]de. There is evidently a very bad tone among some of the girls and you must be careful in choosing you[...]uscles are quite strong enough to bear the weight of your back. Bread and water is not much of a supper for you to go to bed on. I will send you[...]you are not going to be led away by the examples of bad girls. I have always brought you children up[...]tters I think you are sily to I shood be fritened of Mrs. Girly I dont want to go to Skool 1 wo[...] |
| [...]e other girls say it and I think it is very wrong of them. Please dont write to Mrs. Gurley I will try[...]e you will keep your promise and not do it again. Of course I dont mean that you are not to tell me ev[...]long as I see that you are being a good girl and getting on well with your lessons. I do want you to remem[...]very nice for dinner for tea we have to eat a lot of bread and butter I dont care for bread muc[...] |
| together. A lot of girls get up at six and go down to practice they[...]bath they just put on their dressing gowns on top of their night gowns. I dont go down now till[...] |
| [...]ling pack that threw off coverlets and jumped out of bed, to tie on petticoats and snuggle into dressing-gowns and shawls; for the first approach of cooler weather was keenly felt, after the summer[...]peedily chilblained fingers, in making her rounds of the verandahs to see that each of the twenty pianos was rightly occupied; and, as w[...]hief outward sign an occasional thin white spread of frost which vanished before the mighty sun of ten o'clock, she sometimes took the occupancy for[...]meal it was Mrs. Gurley's custom to drink a glass of hot water. While she sipped, she gave audience, m[...]m — standing erect behind her chair at the head of the table, supported by one or more of the staff. To suit the season she was draped in a shawl of crimson wool, which reached to the flounce of her skirt, and was borne by her portly shoulders with the grace of a past day. Beneath the shawl, her dresses were b[...]oportions, and always short enough to show a pair of surprisingly small, well-shod feet. Thus she stoo[...]unless one was very firm indeed in the conviction of one's own innocence, to be beneath this eye was apt to induce a disagreeable sense of guilt. In the case of Mrs. Gurley, familiarity had never been known to breed contempt. She was possessed of what was little short of genius, for ruling through fear; and no more fitting overseer could have been set at the head of these half-hundred girls, of all ages and degrees: gentle and common; ruly and unruly, children hardly out of the nursery, and girls well over the brink of womanhood, whose ripe, bursting forms told their own tale; the daughters of poor ministers at reduced fees; and the spoilt heiresses of wealthy wool- brokers and squatters, whose dowries would mount to many thousands of pounds. — Mrs. Gurley was equal to them all. |
| [...]here was no more persistent shrinker from the ice of this gaze than little Laura. In the presence of Mrs. Gurley the child had a difficulty in getting her breath. Her first week of school life had been one unbroken succession of snubs and reprimands. For this, the undue familiarity of her manner was to blame: she was all too slow to grasp — being ofof her mouth, she saw that she had made a terrible m[...]g, miss, for you to do, will be, to take a course of lessons, in manners. Your present ones, may have[...]belonged. They will not do, here, in the company of your betters.” Above the child's head the two[...]that, after this, there would be no further want of respect; but Laura did not see them. The iron of the thrust went deep down into her soul: no one h[...]to wash them white. Since that day, she had never of her own free will approached Mrs. Gurley again, a[...]later, on discovering that she had forgotten one of her lesson- books, she hesitated long befo[...] |
| [...]book and hurried from the room. But the thoughts of the group had been drawn to her. “The greatest[...]agreed Miss Zielinski. “T don't know what sort of a place she comes from, I'm sure,” continued the former:“but it must be the end of creation. She's utterly no idea of what's what, and as for her clothes they're fit f[...]g either — stupid, I call her,” chimed in one of the younger governesses, whose name was Miss Snod[...]eth's reign — when she didn't know a single one of the dates!” “She can say some poetry,” sai[...]g in my time. We were made to learn what would be of some use and help to us afterwards.” Elderly M[...]ue. Laura tried her utmost, with an industry born of despair. For the comforting assurance of speedy promotion, which she had given Mother, had[...]f in her own knowledge. How slender this was, and of how little use to her in her new state, she did n[...]gone to be examined in arithmetic, flung up hands of comical dismay at her befogged attempts to solve the mysteries of long division. An upper class was taking a[...] |
| [...]quely expressive mouth, which displayed every one of a splendid set of teeth. He had small, short-sighted, red-rimmed ey[...]went on curling, closely cropped, down the sides of his face. He taught at the top of his voice, thumped the blackboard with a pointer, was biting at the expense of a pupil who confused the angle BFC with the angle[...]witched Laura; she forgot her sums in the delight of watching him; and this made her learning seem a l[...]us, and hesitated discreetly before returning one of those ingenuous answers which, in the beginning, had made her the merry- andrew of the class. She could for instance, read a French[...]ry many words; but she had never heard a syllable of the language spoken, and her first attempts at p[...]te and his silly courtiers 7 and she also had out-of-the-way scraps of information about the characters of some of the monarchs, or, as the governess had complained, about the state of London at a certain period; but she had never tro[...]mpanied, not only by the kings who were the cause of them, but by dull laws, and their duller repeals.[...]ce to pieces to see how it was made. She was fond of words, too, for their own sake, and once,[...] |
| [...]phy, the pupils were required to copy the outline of the map of England. Laura, about to begin, found to her dism[...]ad lost her pencil. To confess the loss meant one of the hard, public rebukes from which she shrank. A[...]aura for a moment, then pushed the lid from a box of long, beautifully sharpened drawing-pencils.“Here, you can have one of these.” Laura eyed the well-filled box[...] |
| [...]'s- your-name, come up to the map.” A huge map of England had been slung over an easel; Laura was r[...]the class straggled along the verandah at the end of the hour, Inez came up to Laura's side. “T say[...]at she had again, without knowing it, been guilty of a faux pas. Inez looked round to see that Bertha[...]aped incredulous at the girl, her young eyes full of horror. From actual experience, she hardly knew w[...]hitherto associated it only with the lowest class of Irish agricultural labourer, or with those dreadf[...]ho drank was unthinkable . . . outside the bounds of nature. “Oh, how awful!” she gasped,[...] |
| [...]comes! Don't say a word. Bertha's awfully ashamed of it,” said Inez, and Laura had just time to give[...]ng about?” cried Bertha, and dealt out a couple of her rough and friendly punches. 7‘1 say, who's[...]e, with flying plaits and curls, much kicking-up of long black legs, and a frank display of frills and tuckers. Laura won; for Inez's wind gave out half way, and Bertha was heavy of foot. Leaning against the palings Laura watched t[...]ertha with the shameful secret in the background, of a mother who was not like other mothers. |
| [...]7 at Prahran. The month before, she had been one of the few girls who had nowhere to go; she had been[...]ing-hall, it was not possible to hear the ringing of the front- door bell; but each time either of the maids entered with a summons, Laura half rose[...]n ten, then half-past; it struck eleven, the best of the day was passing, and still Marina did not com[...]aura alone was left: she had to bear the disgrace ofof tearing off her hat and jacket and declaring that[...]rina, a short, sleek-haired, soberly dressed girl of about twenty, had Godmother's brisk, matter-of-fact manner. She offered Laura her cheek to kiss[...]rge. Round them stretched the broad white streets of East Melbourne; at their side was the thick, exotic greenery of the Fitzroy Gardens; on the brow of the hill rose the massive proportions of the Roman Catholic Cathedral. 7 Laura coul[...] |
| [...]wever, as to how she liked school and how she was getting on with her lessons, Marina fell to contemplating a strip of paper that she held in her hand. Laura gathered that her companion had combined the task of calling for her with a morning's shopping, and that she had only worked half through her list of commissions before arriving at the College. At the next corner they got on to the outside car of a cable- tramway, and were carried into town. Her[...]er's housekeeper, and had an incredible knowledge of groceries, as well as a severely practical mind:[...]er-nail into butter, tasted cheeses off the blade of a knife, ran her hands through currants, nibbled biscuits, discussed brands of burgundy and desiccated soups — Laura meanwhile[...]about to turn away when she recollected an affair of some empty cases, which she wished to send back.[...]nto the street again a full hour had gone by. “Getting hungry?” she inquired of Laura. “A little. But I can wait,” answered[...]as faint with hunger. “We'll be home in plenty of time,” said Marina, consulting a neat watch.“Dinner's not till three today, because of father.” Again a tramway jerked them forward.[...]Godmother was equally optimistic. From the sofa of the morning-room, where she sat knitting,[...] |
| [...]at the stocking she held, but always over the top of it. Here, however, the dinner-bell rang, and Laura, spared the task of giving more superfluous information, followed the two ladies to the dining-room. The other members of the family were waiting at the table. Godmother's[...]if they had to communicate, it was done by means of a third person. There was the elder daughter, Geo[...]a, the eldest son, a bank-clerk who was something of a dandy and did not waste civility on little girl[...]ed, pugnacious little creatures, who stood in awe of their father, and were all the wilder when not un[...]the bank-clerk complained in extreme displeasure of the way the laundress had of late dressed his collars — these were so high t[...]otice, he had to look straight down the two sides of his nose to see his plate — and announce[...] |
| [...]hold your tongue, mother!” “T'll do nothing of the sort.” “Crikey!” said the younger boy,[...]t go driving without the boys, and that's the end of it.” Like dogs barking at one another, thought Laura, listening to the loveless bandying of words — she was unused to the snappishness of the Irish manner, which sounds so much worse than[...]na's afternoon would be spent between the shelves of her storeroom, preparing for the incoming goods,[...]t the two boys, mercilessly alert for any display of fondness on the part of the lovers; sat Laura, with her straight, inquisi[...]r reached, the mare was hitched up and the ascent of the light wooden erection began. It was a blowy d[...]Georgy's bidding, went next. She clasped her bits of skirts anxiously to her knees, for she was just a[...]that lay beneath being seen by Georgy, as by any of the male members of the party. Georgy came last, and, though no one w[...]xed hot, and was rapidly taking on the dimensions of a quarrel, when the piebald mare shied at[...] |
| [...]d from side to side and there seemed a likelihood of it capsizing, the two boys squirmed with laughter, and dealt out sundry nudges, kicks and pokes, all of which were received by Laura, sitting between the[...]ould believe George was afraid; there was no sign of it in Georgy's manner; she sat stolid and unmoved[...]st grown up”, she yet detested the conversation of‘real grown-ups” with a child's heartiness. Sh[...]a bookless house — like most Australian houses of its kind: in Marina's bedroom alone stood a small[...]ool and Sunday school prizes. Laura was very fond of reading, and as she dressed that morning had cast[...]e key, but only after some haggling, for her idea of books was to keep the gilt on their covers untarn[...]said ungraciously. She drew out The Giant Cities of Bashan and Syria's Holy Places, and with this Lau[...]a and Georgy stationed like sentinels at the ends of the pew, ready to pounce down on their brothers i[...]ee neither reading-desk nor pulpit; and the words of the sermon seemed to come from a great way[...] |
| [...]elder person being present, the natural feelings of the trio came out: the distaste of a quiet little girl for rough boys and their pranks; the resentful indignation of the boys at having their steps dogged by a sneak[...]s they had rounded the tennis- court and were out of sight of the house, Erwin and Marmaduke clambered over the[...]oors without them. The child sat down on the edge of the lawn under a mulberry tree and propped her ch[...]e house and brave things out; she was also afraid of some one coming into the garden and finding her alone, and of her then being forced to“tell”; for most of all she feared the boys, and their vague, rude th[...]eyes; distant chapel- bells tinkled their quarter of an hour and were still again; the blighting torpor of a Sunday afternoon lay over the world. Would to-m[...]back to school — counted twice over to be sure of them — and all but yawned her head off, with en[...]assed, and nothing happened. She was on the verge of tears, when two black heads bobbed up above the f[...]to start, and it struck half-past nine as the two of them neared the College. Child- like, Laura felt no special gratitude for the heavy pot of mulberry jam Marina bore on her arm; but at sight of the stern, grey, stone building she could have da[...]door swinging to behind her, she drew a deep sigh of relief. |
| [...]'s pleasant smile saluted her — Laura's opinion of life at school suffered a change. She was glad to[...]an adventurous sheep is glad to regain the cover of the flock. Learning might be hard; the governesses mercilessly secure in their own wisdom; but here she was at least a person of some consequence, instead of as at Godmother's a mere negligible null. Of her unlucky essay at holiday-making she wrote hom[...]again in the meantime. But there was such a lack of warmth in her account of the visit that mother made this, together with th[...]ll. And I hope when you grow up you'll be as much of a help to me as Marina is to her mother. I'd much[...]od and useful than clever and I think for a child of your age you see things with very sharp unkind ey[...]spying out their faults. Then you'll have plenty of friends and be liked wherever you go.” Laura t[...]nt about the goodness and cleverness with a grain of salt: she knew better. Mother thought it the prop[...]nds; and, wounded in these, she was quite capable of writing post-haste to Mrs. Gurley or Mr. Strachey, complaining of their want of insight, and bringing forward a string of embarrassing proofs. So, leaving Mother to her pleasing illusions, Laura settled down again to her role of dunce, now, though, with more equanimity than bef[...]ing it to a head. About this time, too, a couple of pieces of good fortune came her way. The first: she was pr[...]e friendship between Inez and Bertha — a favour of which she availed herself eagerly, though[...] |
| Bertha was a good-natured romp, hard-fisted, thick of leg, and of a plodding but ineffectual industry. Inez, on the other hand, was so pretty that Laura never tired of looking at her: she had a pale skin, hazel eyes,[...]for tolerating her that she never took up a stand of real equality with them: proud and sensitive, she[...]their company made things easier for her: neither of them aimed high; and both were well content with[...]confusion, unequal to discovering what was wanted of her, grew comforted by the presence and support of her friends, and unmindful of higher opinion; and Miss Chapman, in supervising[...]ura was growing perky and lazy. Her second piece of good luck was of quite a different nature. Miss Hicks, the visiti[...], inexact, interested only in the personal aspect of a thing. You can't concentrate your thoughts, and, worst of all, you've no curiosity — about anything that really matters. You take all the great facts of existence on trust — just as a hen does — and I've no doubt you'll go on contentedly till the end of your days, without ever knowing why the ocean has[...]t a compliment, as proving that she was incapable of a vulgar inquisitiveness. But Laura, thoug[...] |
| not forget the incident 7 words in any case had a way of sticking to her memory 7 and what Miss Hicks had[...]to her, in the days that followed. And then, all of a sudden, just as if an invisible hand had opened[...]subject, to make it her own in every detail. Bits of it, picturesque scraps, striking features 7 what[...]t any rate, it had crumbled to pieces like a lump of earth, under the hard, heavy hand of Miss Hicks. Laura felt humiliated, and could not[...]want to have a woman's brain, thank you; not one of that sort; and she smarted for the whole class.[...]w the strait road. At first with some stumbling, of course, and frequent backslidings. Intellectual c[...]self napping. Thus though she speedily became one of the most troublesome askers-why, her desire for i[...]et to listen to the answer. Besides, for the life of her she could not drum up more interest in, say, the course of the Gulf Stream, or the formation of a plateau, than in the fact that, when Nelly Bristow spoke, little bubbles came out of her mouth, and that she needed to swallow twice a[...]at when Miss Hicks grew angry her voice had a way of failing, at the crucial moment, and flattening o[...]s indeed difficult for Laura to invert the value of these things. 7 In another direction she did better. By dint of close attention, of pondering both the questions asked by Miss Hicks,[...]true knowledge lay. It was facts that were wanted of her; facts that were the real test of learning; facts she was expected to know. Stories, pictures of things, would |
| [...]se in the world to her to have seen the snowy top of Mount Kosciusko stand out against a dark blue eve[...]ntain was 7308 and not 7309 feet high: that piece of information was valuable, was of genuine use to you; for it was worth your place i[...]ool ideal, thus force herself to drive hard nails of fact into her vagrant thoughts. And with success.[...]gave this talent full play, memorising even pages of the history book in her zeal; and before many wee[...]e was separated from Inez and Bertha by the width of the class. But neither her taste of friendship and its comforts, nor the abrupt chang[...]unes, could counterbalance Laura's luckless knack of putting her foot in it. This she continued to do, in season and out of season. And not with the authorities alone. Ther[...]stance, that unfortunate evening when she was one of the batch of girls invited to Mrs. Strachey's drawingroom. Laura, ignorant of what it meant to be blasée, had received her note of invitation with a thrill, had even enjoyed writing, in her best hand, the prescribed formula of acceptance. But she was alone in this; by the majority of her companions these weekly parties were frankly[...]ing that every guest was expected to take a piece of music with her. Even the totally unfit had to sho[...]tter a second thought: hastily selecting a volume of music, she followed the rest of the white dresses into the passage. The senior gi[...]s stocking-soles. He had also a most arrogant way of looking down his nose, and of tugging, intolerantly, at his long, drooping mous[...]eed for him to assume the frigid contemptuousness of Mrs. Gurley's manner: his mere presence, the very unseeingness of his gaze, inspired awe. Tales ran of his wrath, were it roused; but few had experienced it. He quelled the high spirits of these young colonials by his dignified air of detachment. |
| [...]ffable and smiling, endeavouring to put a handful of awkward girls at their ease. But neither his nor[...]pal. To them, his amiability resembled the antics of an uncertain-tempered elephant, with which you co[...]esides on this occasion it was a young batch, and of particularly mixed stations. And so a dozen girls[...]ve to fifteen years old, sat on the extreme edges of their chairs, and replied to what was said to them, with dry throats. Though the youngest of the party, Laura was the least embarrassed: she h[...]th her elders since her babyhood. And she was not of a shy disposition; indeed, she still had to be reminded daily that shyness was expected of her. So she sat and looked about her. It was an i[...]these ornaments, or to handle the books, instead of having to pick up a title here and there by chanc[...]file, with a long hooked nose, and wearing a kind of peaked cap. But that was not all: behind this head were other profiles of the same face, and seeming to come out of clouds. Laura stared hard, but could make nothing of it. — And meanwhile her companions were rising[...]stiff fingers they stumbled through the movement of a sonata or sonatina. It was Lilith Gordon who b[...]ompany oneself?” she said kindly.“Perhaps one of the others would play for you?” No one moved. “Do any of you know the song?” Two or three ungraciously[...]d play it,” she said; and coloured at the sound of her own voice. Mrs. Strachey looked doubt[...] |
| of the unmusical. Laura rose and went to the piano,[...]g enough to cover the octave. She took the volume of Thalberg she had brought with her, selected“Hom[...]r, she would have grasped that it was the silence of amazement. After the prim sonatinas that had gone[...]e crashed and banged with all the strength a pair of twelve-year-old arms could put into them; and wro[...]ll marked, and there was no mistaking the agility of the small fingers. Dead silence, too, greeted the conclusion ofof Mrs. Strachey's head subdued her.“Oh, I hope yo[...]o him and said, with what she believed to be ease of manner:“Mr. Strachey, will you please te[...] |
| [...]tion:“that is the portrait, by a great painter, of a great poet 7 Dante Alighieri.” “Oh, Dante,[...]showily 7 she had once heard the name.“Oh, yes, of course, I know now. He wrote a book, didn't he, c[...]evening passed, and she was in blessed ignorance of anything being amiss, till the next morning after breakfast she was bidden to Mrs. Gurley. A quarter of an hour later, on her emerging from that lady's p[...]mere swollen slits in her face. Instead, however, of sponging them in cold water and bravely joining h[...]liated her. Laura learnt that she had been guilty of a gross impertinence, in profaning the ears of the Principal and Mrs. Strachey with Thalberg's m[...]ad been so unpleasantly impressed by the boldness of her behaviour, that she would not be invited to the drawing-room again for some time to come. The matter of the music touched Laura little: if they preferred[...]little newcomer: for she had been pluming herself of late that she was now“quite the thing”. And yet, painful as was this fresh overthrow of her pride, it was neither the worst nor the most lasting result of the incident. That concerned her schoolfellows. By the following morning the tale of her doings was known to everyone. It was circulat[...]feeling was generally shared. It evidenced a want of good- |
| [...]s that others had not you concealed them, instead of parading them under people's noses. In short, Laura had committed a twofold breach of school etiquette. No one of course vouchsafed to explain this to her;[...] |
| [...]pupil, with a parrot-like memory, and at the end of the school year delighted Mother's heart with a couple of highly gilt volumes, of negligible contents. At home, during those first[...]s cold creeps down their spines, with her stories of the great doings that took place at school; and none of her class-mates would have recognised in this arrant drawer-of-the-long-bow, the unlucky little blunderbuss of the early days. On her return, Laura's circle of friends was enlarged. The morning after her arriv[...]kward before the fireplace. This was the daughter of a millionaire squatter named Macnamara; and the report of her father's wealth had preceded her. Yet here she now had to hang about, alone, unhappy, the target of all eyes. It might be supposed that Laura would f[...]at this girl, older than she by about a year, and of a higher social standing, should have to endure a like ordeal. Staring heartlessly, she accentuated her part of old girl knowing all the ropes, and was so inclin[...]and she never wore an apron to protect the front of her frock. Naturally, too, she had a bottomless supply of pocket-money: if a subscription were raised, she[...]ult task to move gracefully among companions none of whom knew what it meant to be really poor.[...] |
| [...]t how paltry her allowance was. But the question of money was, after all, trifling, compared with the infinitely more important one of dress. With regard to dress, Laura's troubles were manifold. It was not only that here, too, by reason of Mother's straitened means, she was forced to rema[...]was indifferent to finery. Had she had a couple of new frocks a year, in which she could have been n[...]ble one from another. For they were the daughters of an imaginative mother, and, balked in other outle[...]had suffered under a home-made, picturesque style of dress; and she had resented, with a violence even Mother did not gauge, this use of her young body as a peg on which to hang fantasti[...]Pin still groaned; but there remained the matter of colour for Mother to sin against, and in this she[...]thing, she was not given to consulting the wishes of little people. Those were awful times when she went, say, to Melbourne, and bought as a bargain a whole roll of cloth of an impossible colour, which had to be utilised to[...]aisley shawl, a puce ball-dress, even an old pair of green rep curtains. It was thus a heavy blow to[...]horred. But the colour! Her heart fell to the pit of her stomach the moment she set eyes on it, and on[...]in her tears. 7 Mother had chosen a vivid purple, of a crude, old- fashioned shade. Now, quite apart[...], the views held by her companions on the subject of colour. No matter how sumptuous or how simple the material of which the dress was made, it must be dark, or of a delicate tint. Brilliancy was a sign of vulgarity, and put the wearer outside the[...] |
| [...]ows in all Vital matters, the unpropitious advent of the purple threatened to undo her. After her first dismayed inspection, she retreated to the bottom ofof you, Pin, perfectly piggish! You might have watch[...]“1 did, Laura!” asseverated Pin, on the brink of tears.“There was a nice dark brown and I said t[...]s dress hung for weeks in the most private corner of Laura's school wardrobe. Her companions had all r[...]assemblage for church there was a great mustering of one another, both by girls and teachers. Laura wa[...]rt was sore with bitterness, and when the handful of Episcopalians were marching to St Stephen's-on- t[...]dress hasn't come,” she said gratuitously, out of this hurt, with an oblique glance to see how her[...]s doing his best not to blush on passing the line of girls. 7‘1 say, do look at that toff making eye[...]subsequent Sundays, Laura fingered, in an agony of indecision, the pleasing stuff of the dress, and ruefully considered its modish cut. Once, no one being present, she even took it out of the wardrobe. But the merciless spring sunshine seemed to make the purple shoot fire, to let loose a host of other colours it in as well, and, with a shudder,[...]hot letter from Mother. Godmother had complained of her looking“dowdy”, and Mother was exceedingl[...]l at Prahran, and in her new dress, under penalty of a correspondence with Mrs. Gurley. There w[...] |
| an order of this kind, and with death at her heart Laura prep[...]cloak over her shoulders. But her arms peeped out of the loose sleeves, and at least a foot of skirt was visible. As she walked along the corrid[...]ted by it; and every passer-by was a fresh object of dread: Laura waited, her heart a-thump, for the moment when he should raise his eyes and, with a start of attention, become aware of the screaming colour. At Godmother's all the face[...],“What a guy!” when she thought Laura was out of earshot; but the boys stated their opinion openly[...]fight against it. “Got anything new in the way of clothes?” asked Lilith Gordon as she and[...] |
| [...]— and her mother gave it to me as a remembrance of her but I didn't care for it.” “T shouldn't[...]othes? What a rummy thing to do!” She went out of the room — no doubt to spread this piece of gossip further. Laura looked daggers after her. S[...]if she were, well, it made matters worse instead of better: people would conclude that she lived on c[...]They were a stock property, borrowed on the spur of the moment from readings in The Family Herald, fr[...]ld she not have said Sarah, the servant, the maid-of-all-work? Then Miss Day would have had no chance[...]ra, could have believed herself believed, instead of having to fret over her own stupidity. — But wh[...]e more than anything to know was, why the mending of the stockings at home should not be Sarah'[...] |
| [...]sted. Yet, in the months that followed the affair of the purple dress, Laura grew more intimate with t[...]done with tact, and with a certain assumed warmth of manner, anyone could make a cat's-paw of her. That Lilith and she undressed for bed toget[...]fat and thin arms wielded the brush, was the time of all others for confidences. The governess who occ[...]two had their clothes off. It was in the course of one of these confidential chats that Laura did a very foolish thing. In a moment of weakness, she gratuitously gave away the secret that Mother supported her family by the work of her hands. The two girls were sitting on the side of Lilith's bed. Laura had a day of mishaps behind her — that partly, no dou[...] |
| [...]an do anything. She makes the patterns up all out of her own head.” — And filled with pride in Mother's accomplishments and Lilith's appreciation of them, Laura fell asleep that night without a qualm. It was the next evening. Several of the boarders who had finished preparing their les[...]but very saucy; for she lived at Toorak, and came of one of the best families in Melbourne. She was not as ol[...]s already feared and respected for the fine scorn of her opinions. Lilith Gordon had bragged:“My un[...]gold watch and chain when I pass matric.” Lucy of Toorak laughed: her nose came down, and her mouth[...]bane.” “Sure he can afford to buy it?” “Of course he can.” “What is he?” Lilith was[...]hesitate, ever so slightly.“Oh, he's got plenty of money,” she asserted. “She doesn't like to s[...]er uncle keeps a newspaper!” There was a burst of laughter from those standing round. Lilith was scarlet now.“It's nothing to be ashamed of,” she said angrily. But Lucy of Toorak could not recover from her amusement.“An[...]eps a newspaper! A newspaper! Well, I'm glad none of my uncles are so rummy. — I say, does he leave[...]well pleased to see another than herself the butt of young Lucy's wit. But at this stage of her existence she was too intent on currying favo[...]ous mirth Lilith's admission and Lucy's reception of it excited, and flung her gibes with the rest. |
| [...]day, and had quite forgotten her silly confidence of the night before. Now, the jeer that was on the tip of her tongue hung fire. She could not all at once o[...]ted, socially, by even the most exclusive, as one of themselves; and this, in spite of her niggardly allowance, her ridiculous clothes.[...]traditions were not so easily subdued. Just some of the wealthiest, too, were aware that their antece[...]ee professions alone were sacrosanct. The calling of architect, for example, or of civil engineer, was, if a fortune had not been ac[...]e on their money! But the additional circumstance of Mother being a woman made things ten times worse:[...]would be a pariah indeed — went in hourly dread of Lilith betraying her. Nothing, however, ha[...] |
| [...]the governesses noticed the change in her. Three of them sat one evening round the fire in Mrs. Gurle[...]dgrass had made the bread into toast — in spite of Miss Chapman's quakings lest Mrs. Gurley should n[...]e engaged, she surreptitiously dropped the crusts of the toast into her handkerchief. “I'd be sorry[...]d the other's neck, and unceremoniously laid hold of her book.“You naughty girl, you're at Ouida aga[...]ll wrong again to-morrow, your head'll be so full of that stuff.” “Yes, it's time to go, girls; t[...]ng between six and eight o'clock, fifty-five lots of washing had to be sorted out and arranged in pile[...]lated Miss Snodgrass, and yawned again, in a kind of furious desperation.“I swear I'll marry[...] |
| [...]ntly that her bones cracked; to resume, in a tone of ordinary conversation:“I do wish I knew whether to put a brown wing or a green one in that blessed hat of mine.” Miss Chapman's face straightened out fr[...]y dear Miss Chapman, it's at least six months out of date. — Ziely, you're crying!” “T'm not,” said Miss Zielinski weakly, caught in the act of blowing her nose. “How on earth can you cry ov[...]now! And it's long past ten.” At the creaking of the front door both juniors rose, gathered their[...]she would, or draped in her great shawl, thoughts of this kind sank to their proper level, and Miss Ch[...]on the dying fire, around her the eerie stillness of the great house, her ambition did not seem wholly out of reach; and, giving rein to her fancy, she could p[...]nd rooms, issuing orders that it was the business of others to fulfil, could even think out a few changes that should be made, were she head of the staff. But the insertion of Mrs. Gurley's key in the lock, the sound of her foot on the oilcloth, was enough to waken a sense of guilt in Miss Chapman, and make her start[...] |
| [...]ht regulate your outward habit to the last button of what you were expected to wear; you might conceal[...]hich were likely to damage your value in the eyes of your companions; you might, in brief, march in th[...]ers, keeping perfect step and time with them: yet of what use were all your pains, if you could not marshal your thoughts and feelings — the very realest part of you — in rank and file as well? . . . if these[...]y Mr. Repton, the visiting-master for this branch of study, was reading aloud, in a sonorous voice, a chapter of Handy Andy. He underlined his points heavily, and[...]ttern disciplinarian; but the general abandonment of attitude had another ground as well. It had to do with the shape of the master's legs. These were the object of an enthusiastic admiration. They were generally a[...]ls were thought lucky who could get the best view of them beneath the desk. Moreover, the rumour ran t[...]t weight to the report — and Class Two was fond of picturing the comely limbs in the tights of a Hamlet or Othello. It also, of course, invented for him a lurid life outside the[...]rs in church every Sunday morning, the embodiment of the virtuous commonplace; and whenever he looked at a pupil, every time he singled one of them out for special notice, he was believ[...] |
| reception of his friendly overtures. — Such was Class Two's youthful contribution to the romance of school life. On this particular day, however, the sudden, short snap of the secretary's announcement that, instead of dispersing at half-past three, the entire school was to reassemble, galvanised the class. Glances of mingled apprehension and excitement flew round; e[...]n left for well-shaped members, or for the antics of Handy Andy under his mother's bed. But when the[...]ection, verandahs and corridors one seething mass of girls, it was the excitement that prevailed. For any break was welcome in the uniformity of the days; and the nervous tension now felt was no[...]om, than was the pleasant trepidation experienced of old by those who went to be present at a hanging. In the course of the past weeks a number of petty thefts had been committed. Day-scholars who left small sums of money in their jacket pockets would find, on retu[...]a time, the losses were borne in silence, because of the reluctance inherent in young girls to making[...]e bolder than the rest, and with a stronger sense of public morality, lodged a complaint. Investigatio[...]there was always an unpunctual minority. A crowd of girls who had not been able to find seats was mas[...]ks to the high windows; they were ranged in order of precedence, topped by Dr Pughson, who stood next[...]desk. All alike wore blank, stern faces. In one of the rows of desks for two — blackened, ink-scored, dusty de[...]nd Tilly, behind them Inez and Bertha. The cheeks of the four were flushed. But, while the others only whispered and wondered, Laura was on the tiptoe of expectation. She could not get her breath properl[...]These few foregoing minutes were the most trying of any. For when, in an ominous hush, Mr. Strachey e[...]sk, Laura suddenly grew calm, and could take note of everything that passed. The Principal rai[...] |
| [...]rs and hid her face in her handkerchief. Hundreds of eyes sought the unhappy culprit as she rose, then[...]that is about to eat it. She was a very ugly girl of fourteen, with a pasty face, and lank hair that d[...]ording to Mr. Strachey this was the motor impulse of the thefts — because a lolly shop had stretched[...]oo, with a shiver, how easy it would be, the loss of the first pennies having remained undiscovered, t[...]thrilled Laura — just as, at the play, the fact of one spectator being moved to tears intensifies hi[...]joyment. — But when Mr. Strachey left the field of personal narration and went on to the moral aspects of the affair, Laura ceased to be gripped by him, and turned anew to study the pale, dogged face of the accused, though she had to crane her n[...] |
| [...]r some seconds, she tried to do what was expected of her: to feel a decent unconcern. At her back, Ber[...]e could not, really could not miss the last scene of all, when, in masterly fashion, the Principal was[...]ul moments drew near, even Bertha was hushed, and of all the odd hundreds of throats not one dared to cough. Laura's heart began to palpitate, for she felt the approach of the final climax, Mr. Strachey's periods growing ever slower and more massive. When, after a burst of eloquence which, the child felt, would not have s[...]l dead by Laertes' sword, to the rousing plaudits of the house. Breathing unevenly, she watched, lynx-eyed, every inch of Annie Johns' progress: watched her pick up her books, edge out of her seat and sidle through the rows of desks; watched her walk to the door with short je[...]sigh. It was too late after this for the winding of the snaky line about the streets and parks of East Melbourne, which constituted the boarders' d[...]and tennis-courts, they discussed the main event of the afternoon, and were a little more vociferous than usual, in an attempt to shake off the remembrance of a very unpleasant half-hour. “T bet you Sandy[...]he must take twelves!” “And that old blubber of a Ziely's handkerchief! It was filthy. I t[...] |
| [...]same class as a pickpocket,” said the daughter of a minister from Brisbane.“I guess he wouldn't h[...]ed, and a girl from the Riverina said: “Oh, no, of course not!” in a tone that made Laura wince an[...]and what her father had said to her. All the rest of them had gone back at once to their everyday life[...]ld happen to her? Would she perhaps be turned out of the house? . . . into the streets? — and Laura had a lively vision of the guilty creature, in rags and tatters, slinkin[...]y a ruthless London policeman (her only knowledge of extreme destitution being derived from the woeful tale ofLittle Jo”). — And to think that the beginning of it all had been the want of a trumpery tram-fare. How safe the other girls we[...]low themselves to feel shocked and outraged; none of them knew what it was not to have threepen[...] |
| [...]r, had even managed to extract an unseemly amount of entertainment from it. And that, of course, should not have been. It was partly Mr. S[...]wrinkled her nose in a grimace. The real reason of her pleasurable absorption was, she supposed, tha[...]to understand — that was the long and the short of it: nice- minded girls found such a thing impossi[...]anions had been quick to recognise her difference of attitude, or they would never have dared to accuse her of sympathy with the thief, or to doubt her chorusin[...]he world she had was to range herself on the side of the sinner; she longed to see eye to eye with her[...]perhaps with ideas that were no more unlike those of her schoolfellows than were Laura's own, Annie wa[...]they found words, they would have taken the form of an entreaty that she might be preserved from havi[...]and especially did she see a companion convicted of crime. Below all this, in subconscious depths, a chord of fear seemed to have been struck in her as well — the fear of stony faces, drooped lids, and stretched, pointin[...]ie Johns but she was being expelled; that an army of spear-like first fingers was marching towa[...] |
| [...]this time — Laura was a thin, middle-sized girl of thirteen, who still did not look her age. The cur[...]choice with a red ribbon. Tilly was the only one of her intimates who skipped a class with her; hence[...]ly, in the others' hearing, over the difficulties of the little blue books that began: Gallia est omni[...]inclined to stand on their dignity with the pair of interlopers from Class Two. They were all older t[...]ra, and thought themselves wiser: here were girls of sixteen and seventeen years of age, some of whom would progress no farther along the high-road of education. As for the boarders who sat in this fo[...]e, the girls conned their pages with a great show of industry. But no sooner had she sailed away than[...]called to Maria Morell, who was at the other end of the seat:“I say, Maria, Genesis LI, 32.” —[...]ey won't savvy.” But Laura's eyes were saucers of curiosity, for Tilly, who kept her long lashes lo[...]and Tilly followed in their wake, at the clanging of the public prayer-bell. “You soft, didn[...] |
| “Of course I did” — and Laura repeated the reference. “Let's look it up then.” Under cover of the prayer Tilly sought it out, and together they[...]Only a day or two later it was she who, in face of Kate and Maria, invited Tilly to turn up chapter[...]an she. The girls were thrown thus upon the Book of Books for their contraband knowledge, since it was the only frankly outspoken piece of literature allowed within the College walls: the[...]library was kept so dull that no one over the age of ten much cared to borrow a volume from it. And, b[...]it was necessary to obtain information on matters of sex; for girls most of whom were well across the threshold of womanhood the subject had an invincible fascinati[...]these were required to commit to memory the name of every bone and artery in the body, yet all that r[...]big girls, for instance, round the physical feat of bringing a child into the world, would have supplied material for a volume of fairytales. On many a summer evening at this time, in a nook of the garden, heads of all shades might have been seen pressed as close together as a cluster of settled bees; and like the humming of bees, too, were the busy whisperings and subdued buzzes of laughter that accompanied this hot discussion of the“how” — as a living answer to which, each of them would probably some day walk the worl[...] |
| On the other hand, of less profitable information they had amassed a go[...]who came from up-country could tell a lively tale of the artless habits of the blacks; others, who were at home in mining to[...]Chinese camps — those unavoidable concomitants of gold-grubbing settlements; rhymes circulated that[...]— it had little in common with the opener grime of the ordinary schoolboy — did not even widen the outlook of these girls. For it was something to hush up and[...]peared unnatural. Thus, not the primmest patterns of family life could hope for mercy in their eyes; o[...]rigorists, was held to leave his serpent's trail of desire. For out of it all rose the vague, crude picture of woman as the prey of man. Man was animal, a composite of lust and cruelty, with no aim but that of brutally taking his pleasure: something monstrous[...]'s disposal. As long as it was solely a question of clandestine knowledge and ingenious surmisings, L[...]n but highly sensitised plate. And partly because of her previous entire ignorance, partly because of her extreme receptiveness, she soon outstripped her comrades, and before long, was one of the most skilful improvisers of the group: a dexterous theorist: a wicked little[...]For the invisible yeast that brought this ferment of natural curiosity to pass, was the girls' intense[...]red for an outlet; an interest which, in the life of these prospective mothers, had already usurped th[...]n the other hand, had so far had scant experience of boys of a desirable age, nor any liking for such as she h[...]were“silly” — feckless creatures, in spite of their greater strength and |
| [...], like Godmother's Erwin and Marmaduke. No breath of their possible dangerous fascination had hitherto[...]an experience that came her way, at the beginning of the autumn was of the nature of an awakening. |
| [...]h.” “Go on! — you're stuffing.” “Word of honour! — And I've promised him to ask aunt if[...]ect you to be or to do. Bob was a beautiful youth of seventeen, tall, and dark, and slender, with milk[...]eyes; and Laura's mouth dried up when she thought of perhaps having to be sprightly or coquettish with[...]f you don't care to look nice, you know . . .” Of course she did; she was burning to. She even accepted the loan ofof their hats; and she led the way to her aunt's bedroom. Laura, though she had her share of natural vanity, was too impatient to do more than[...]tory glance at her reflected self. At this period of her life when a drive in a hired cab was enough of a novelty to give her pleasure, a day such as the[...]vish use, after the little swing-glass at school, of the big mirror with its movable wings; she |
| [...]n short, blind and deaf to all but the perfecting of herself 7 this rather mannish little self, which,[...]-in. 7 Now if only we're lucky enough to get hold of a man or two we know!” The air, Australian air[...]was incredibly crisp, pure, buoyant. From the top of the eastern hill the spacious white street sloped[...]rther they descended, the fuller it grew 7 fuller of idlers like themselves, out to see and to be seen. Laura cocked her chin; she had not had a like sense of freedom since being at school. And besides, was n[...]ing for her, and expecting her? This was the clou of the day, the end for which everything was making; yet of such stuff was Laura that she would have felt rel[...]oment have been spun out indefinitely. The state of suspense was very pleasant to her. As for Tilly, that young lady was swinging the shoulders atop of the little waist in a somewhat provocative fashion, only too conscious of the grey- blueness of her fine eyes, and the modish cut of her clothes. She had a knack which seemed to Laura both desirable and unattainable: that of appearing to be engrossed in glib chat with her c[...]rd Laura said, and ogled everyone who passed, out of the tail of her eye. They reached the“block”, that strip of Collins Street which forms the fashionable promenade. Here the road was full of cabs and carriages, and there was a great crowd o[...]-shop round the corner. There were a large number of high-collared young dudes, some Trinity an[...] |
| [...]s were crowned with success: she managed, by dint of glance and smile combined, to unhook a youth of her acquaintance from a group at a doorway, and t[...]was accomplished, she set about the real business of the morning — that of promenading up and down. She had no longer even a[...]illy almost at once. Alas! there was no question of his waiting longingly for her to appear. He was w[...]the throng. Behind her hand Tilly buzzed:“One of those Woodwards is awfully sweet on him. I bet he can't get loose.” This was a drop of comfort. But as, at the next encounter, he still[...]expected that he would prefer her company to that of the pretty, grown-up girls he was with? — as he again sidled past, Tilly, who had given him one of her most vivacious sparkles, turned and shot a gl[...]and, since Tilly seemed disposed to lay the blame of his lukewarmness at her door, Laura glued[...] |
| [...]uriously racked her brains. Oh, for just a morsel of Tilly's loose-tonguedness! One after the other she considered and dismissed: the pleasant coolness of the morning, the crowded condition of the street, even the fact of the next day being Sunday — ears and cheeks on[...]ura in a small voice, and was extremely conscious of her own thirteen years. “Simply stunning! Thou[...]king. — Her own waist was coarse, her knowledge of tennis of the slightest. “Ra-ther! Overhand, with a cut[...]as a back drive, too, by Jove, that — you play, of course?” “Oh, yes.” Laura spoke up manfull[...]uncture his attention was diverted by the passing of a fine tandem; and as soon as he brought i[...] |
| out for her there; but he did nothing of the kind. His answer was to the effect that this[...]this time all but been successfully educated out of her, Laura was never shyer with strangers than at[...]word you said could be listened to by a tableful of people. Then, too, her vis-a- vis was a small sharp child ofof face, and preternaturally solemn. No sooner had[...]7 good Lord, mother, can it be my monthly attack of D.T.'s beginning already? They're not due, you kn[...]. Ra . . . Rambotham, are you aware that this son of mine is a professed lady- killer?” |
| Laura and Bob went different shades of crimson. “Why has she got so red?” the child[...]in the cats!” — which appeared to be his way of changing the subject. It seemed, after this, as though the remainder of lunch might pass off without further hitch. Then however and all ofof:“T'll cut you, pa, into little bits!” had die[...]replied that she did. “Then I've the pleasure of knowing your mother. — Tall dark woman, isn't she?” Under the table, Laura locked the palms of her hands and stemmed her feet against the floor.[...]m all, and Bob in particular, the shameful secret of the embroidery to come to light? She could[...] |
| [...]do to mollify Tilly, who was enraged to the point of tears.“I've never worn a bustle in my life! Unc[...]re alone together. But even less than before came of their intercourse: Bob, still smarting from his f[...]roughly unsure to begin with, by the jocular tone of the luncheon-table, had not recovered from the shock of hearing her parentage so bluffly disclosed. And since, at this time, her idea of the art of conversation was to make jerky little remarks whi[...]est success. He infected Laura; and there the two of them sat, doing their best to appear unconscious of the terrible spasms which, every few seconds, dis[...]e drawing-room it had been decided that the three of them should go for a walk. As the sky was overcas[...]; and the jokes that were extracted from the pair of words lasted the walkers on the whole of their outward way; lasted so long that Lau[...] |
| [...]g people went into Bourke Street, where, for want of something better to do, they entered the Eastern[...]as a smell, too, an extraordinary smell, composed of all the individual smells of all these living things: of fruit and vegetables, fresh and decayed; of flowers, and butter, and grain; of meat, and fish, and strong cheeses; of sawdust sprinkled with water, and freshly wet pavements — one great complicated smell, the piquancy of which made Laura sniff like a spaniel. But after[...]those about the umbrella; and Laura grew so tired of them, and of pretending to find them funny, that her temper al[...]flicker, for Bob had laid his arm along the back of the seat. Then she saw that he had done this just[...]she sat down beside a girl with a very long plait of hair and small, narrow eyes, who went by the name of “Chinky”. Chinky was always making up[...] |
| XV. FOR days Laura avoided even thinking of this unlucky visit. Privately, she informed herse[...]for Bob's notice or admiration, had never thought of him but as a handsome cousin of Tilly's who sat in a distant pew at St Stephen's-[...]ed to worm herself into his favour, seemed to her of a monstrous injustice. But, all the same, had she[...]knew how desirable he was. Having been the object of glances from those liquid eyes, of smiles from those blanched-almond teeth, she foun[...]her mind. How the other girls would have boasted ofof this kind to her intimates; but Chinky, could be[...], as gratefully as Lazarus his crumbs; and a mark of confidence, such as this, would sustain he[...] |
| [...]him, chicken.” “But you don't have anything of him that way,” objected Laura. Maria laughed h[...]t another boy. As for a kiss, if he gets a chance of one he'll take it you can bet your bottom dollar[...]old Shepherd's sermons? You loony, it's only for getting lollies, and letters, and the whole dashed fun of the thing. If you go about too much with one, you[...]r grandmother to suck eggs.” But, despite this wisdom, Laura could not determine how Maria would have a[...]he elder girl had said nothing about another side of the question, had not touched on the sighs and si[...]and others employ. There was a regular machinery of invitation and encouragement to be set in[...] |
| [...]be relied on to be wholly impartial, where a pair of magnificent eyes was concerned. Even Mr. Strachey[...]ssage, to be laughingly confused. Laura was not, of course, the sole outsider in these things; sprink[...]rious others, older, too, than she, who by reason of demureness of temperament, or immersion in their work, stood al[...]re lost in the majority, and, as it chanced, none ofof pleasing, even though she felt a little abashed b[...]here was Bertha, for instance, Bertha who had one of the nicest minds of them all; and yet how frankly gratified she was, by the visible rounding of her arms and the curving of her bust. She spoke of it to Laura with a kind of awe; and her voice seemed to give hints of a coming mystery. Tilly, on the other hand, lived[...]sucking at lemons, and she put up with the pains of indigestion as well as a red tip to her nose; for[...]had managed to compress herself a further quarter of an inch, no praise on the part of her teachers equalled the compliments this earned[...]; serious admirers were not lacking, and with one of these, a young man some eight years older than herself, she had had for the past three months a sort of understanding. For her, as for so many others, th[...]was as purgatory before paradise. To top all, one of the day-scholars in Laura's class was actu[...] |
| [...]the goal. For this was the goal; and the thoughts of all were fixed, with an intentness that varied on[...]he had finished her education, but with a feeling of awe: it was still so distant as to be one dense blue haze; it was so vast, that thinking of it took your breath away: there was room in it fo[...]rom golden slippers to a Jacob's ladder, by means of which you would scale the skies; and with these m[...]went. In the meantime, despite her ape-like study of her companions, she remained where the other sex[...]d to bring up the rear with the governess and one of the little girls. Though their walk led them thro[...]ngs you did not care to tell — such as the size of your home, or the social position you occupied in[...]they climbed the Grand Stand and sat down in one of the back rows, to the rear of the other spectators. Before them sloped a steep bank of hats gaily-flowered and ribbon-banded hats — of light and dark shoulders, of alert, boyish profiles and pale, pretty faces — a representative gathering of young Australia, bathed in the brilliant March li[...]eur occurred. During an interval in the game, one of the girls asked the governess's leave to s[...] |
| [...]—“like sloes,” Chinky said, though neither of them had any clear idea what a sloe was. Still,[...]yes, and almost white flaxen hair. She took heart of grace. “T spose you often come here?” she ve[...]he looked at her; but doubtfully, from the height ofof obligatory politeness. “Tt must be splendid”[...]he was making signs to a friend down in the front of the Stand. — Miss Snodgrass seemed to repress a[...]ay I have. An' you, too. You're the little sister of |
| [...]her if I didn't?” retorted the boy, in the tone of:“What a fool question!” He also seemed to have been on the point of adding: “Goose,” or“Sillybones.” The lit[...]y coldly: Chinky had no doubt also been a witness of her failure. The girl squeezed past and shared h[...]at this. She found it in the worst possible taste of Chinky to try to console her. “Wouldn't you like to wear a ring on one of them?” “No, thanks,” said Laura, in the sa[...]reply, as she returned to her stony contemplation of the great sunlit expanse. She was sure Miss Snodgrass, on getting home, would laugh with the other governesses over what had occurred — if not with some of the girls. The story would leak out and come to T[...]minutes, she could be put in the shade by a child of |
| [...]ssary 7 and that was more than could be said even of the music- masters. In regard to them, pressures of the hand, as well as countless nothings, were exp[...]d, in the bi-weekly reports you rendered to those of your friends who followed the case. Whereas for t[...]and grew greatly in earnest, his mouth had a way of opening as if it meant to swallow the church 7 and Laura was by no means his sole admirer. Several of her friends had a fancy for him, especially as hi[...]induce your imagining to become reality. By dint of pretending that it was so, she gradually worked herself up into an attack of love, which was genuine enough to make her redden when Mr. Shepherd was spoken of, and to enjoy being teased about him. And since,[...]twithstanding her protested indifference to forms of worship 7 such emotional accessories as flowers,[...]ot alone homage due to the Deity, but also a kind of minor homage offered to and accepted by Mr. Sheph[...]not difficult to believe yourself the recipient of personal notice. At home during the winter holid[...]tway it occurred to Mother that he was the nephew of an old friend whom she had long lost sight of letters passed between Warrenega and Melbourne, a[...]y at Mr. Shepherd's house. In the agitated frame of mind this threw her into, she did not know |
| whether to be glad or sorry. Her feelings had, of late, got into such a rapt and pious muddle that[...]ged up the garden with an arm thrust through each of hers. Mr. Shepherd's holy calling and spiritual a[...]the blackest interpretation was put on the matter of the visit. “Nice things you'll be up to, the pair of you — oh, my aunt!” ejaculated Maria. “T t[...]ed for, on Saturday morning, by the maiden sister of her divinity. Miss Isabella Shepherd was a fair,[...]to you; so that the impression she made was that of a perpetual friendliness, directed, however, not[...]mpanion to a closer scrutiny, and from the height of thirteen years had soon taxed her with being a fr[...]called Robby? — Laura blushed. But at the head of the stairs they were brought up short by M[...] |
| [...]she was very kind, and in the bedroom insisted on getting out a clean towel for Laura. “Now we'll go dow[...]not take their seats: they stood about, in a kind of anxious silence. This lasted for several minutes;[...], and at length there was a loud, impatient shout of:““Maisie!” Both ladies were perceptibly fl[...]ge-whisper; while Mrs. Shepherd, taking the front of her dress in both hands, set out for the stairs w[...]ss for running. A minute or two later the origin of the fluster came in, looking, it must be confesse[...]nd so this is the young lady fresh from the halls of learning, is it?” he asked, after a mumbled gra[...]na, jubes renovare dolorem — isn't that the way of it? And then . . . let me see! It's so long since[...]mpty. “Yes, yes, here we are again! Not a scrap of mustard on the table.” — His voice was[...] |
| [...]er and the glasses as well,” snarled the master of the house, who had run a flaming eye over the tab[...]left Laura wondering why, considering the dearth of time, and the distress of the ladies at each fresh contretemps, they did no[...]mselves — as Mother would have done — instead of each time ringing the bell and waiting for the appearance of the saucy, unwilling servant. As it turned out, h[...]ained to Laura — never offered her a thimbleful of help. “My sister-in-law is nothing of a manager,” she said.“But we still trust she[...]But Robby's patience is angelic.” And Laura was of the same opinion, since the couple had been marri[...]ars. The moment the meal, which lasted a quarter of an hour, was over, Mr. Shepherd clapped on his sh[...]his opened up a dazzling prospect, with the whole of Melbourne before one. But Laura was too polite to[...]ly unused smell in the rooms that betokens a lack of children. Laura did not dislike the quiet, and sa[...]Not, however, that she was really within hundreds of miles of Melbourne; for the wonderful book that she[...] |
| class of working-men was momently expected, and Robby had just time to gulp down a cup of tea. Nor could he converse; for he was obliged to spare his throat. Afterwards the three of them sat listening to the loud talking overhead.[...]book, but her eyes were still Visionary. When any of the three spoke, it was in a low tone. Towards n[...]e explained:“It must boil, but not have a scrap of skin on it, or Robby won't look at it.” Presen[...]phen's-on-the-Hill, and in the afternoon made one of Isabella's class at Sunday school. That morning she had wakened, in what seemed to be the middle of the night, to find Isabella dressing by the light of a single candle. “Don't you get up,” said th[...]ut at nine o'clock that evening, when the labours of the day were behind him, he was persuaded to lie down on the sofa and drink a glass of port. At his head sat Mrs. Shepherd, holding the[...]l his querulousness was forgiven him for the sake of this moment. Then, finding a willing listener in[...]s travels, giving, in particular, a vivid account of some months he had once spent in Japan. Laura, wh[...]ling at second hand 7 since any other way was out of the question 7 Laura spent a delightful ho[...] |
| [...]y a word about it; he won't have it mentioned out of the house. — And meanwhile he's working as hard[...]y said we were to ask you. I've had no experience of little girls. But you haven't been the least trou[...]ra, whose mind was set on a good, satisfying slab of cake, promised to do this, although her feelings[...]led two ways: on the one side was the remembrance of Mr. Shepherd hacking cantankerously at the bare m[...]on the other, the cherry-blossom and the mousmés of Japan. |
| [...]ss nicht, was Wahrheit ist.Nietzsche A PANTOMIME of knowing smiles and interrogatory grimaces greeted[...]er mouth, she joined her class. For the twinkling of an eye Laura hesitated, being unprepared. Then, h[...]as a comic actor to resist pandering to the taste of the public, she yielded to this hunger for spicy happenings, and did what was expected of her: clapped her hands, one over the other, to he[...]ugh, since seeing her friends last. In the thick of this message she was, unluckily, caught by Dr Pughson, who, after dealing her one of his butcherly gibes, bade her to the blackboard, to grapple with the Seventh Proposition. The remainder of the forenoon was a tussle with lessons not glance[...]osing rather to trust for inspiration to the spur of the moment. Morning school at an end, she was laid hands on and hurried off to a retired corner of the garden. Here, four friends squatted round, de[...]an facts — and this she would have been capable of doing with some address; for she had looked through her hosts with a perspicacity uncommon in a girl of her age; had once again put to good use those 'sh[...]d man, who nagged like any woman, and made slaves of two weak, adoring ladies; and she very well knew[...]in future alighted on Mr. Robby, she would think of him pinching and screwing, with a hawk-like eye on a shadowy bishopric. Of her warm feelings for him, genuine or imaginary, not a speck remained. The first touch of reality had sunk them below her ken, just as a drop of cold water sinks the floating grounds in a coffee[...]nfess this, confess also that, save for a handful of monosyllables, her only exchange of words with him had been a line of Virgil; and, still more humbling, that she[...] |
| she would forfeit every sou of the prestige the visit had lent and yet promised[...]edatory faces that hemmed her in. Tilly's was one of them: the lightly mocking smile sat on it that Laura had come to know so well, since her maladroit handling of Bob. She would kill that smile — and if she had[...]ng her steps. Especially as she had not the ghost of an idea how to begin. Meanwhile cries of impatience buzzed round her. “She doesn't want[...]rd. — “But, mind, you must never utter a word of what I'm going to tell you. It's a dead secret, a[...]hat'd he do?” “And what about his old sketch of a wife?” “Her? Oh” — and Laura sq[...] |
| “Guess he's pretty sick of being tied to an old gin like that?” “T shou[...]e just despises her.” “Well, why in the name of all that's holy did he take her?” Laura cast a[...]lowered her voice. “Well, you see, she had /ots ofof the four faces,“he comes of a most distinguished family. His father was a lor[...]y against his father's will and so he cut him out of his will.” “T say!” “Oh, never mind the[...]der an awful obligation to her, and all that sort of thing, you know.” “And she drives it home, I[...]a ghoul!” “He'd do just anything to get rid of her, but — Girls, it's a dead secret; you must swear you won't tell.” Gestures ofof that?” “No, of course not. He'll have to drag her with hi[...] |
| [...]had gone before. 7 But by now she was at the end of her tether. Here, fortunately for Laura, the din[...]from their scattered seats, they exchanged looks of understanding, and their cheeks were pink. In th[...]the daily walk was Kate Horner. Kate had been one of the four, and did not lose this chance of beating up fresh particulars. After those first[...]ave lurked in her hearers was soon got the better of. For, crass realists though these young colonials[...]permitted to interfere with the practical conduct of their lives than it is in the case of just that novel-reader, who puts untruth and unre[...]slower brains could not conceive the possibility of such extraordinarily detailed lying as tha[...] |
| [...]uty to do, Laura was obliged to develop this side of her narrative at the expense of the other. And the more the girls heard, the more[...]ad early turned Miss Isabella into a staunch ally of her own, in the dissension she had introduced int[...]should please the couple to emerge; saw the form of the verger moving about the darkening church, as[...]r inventions that Maria, who for all her boldness ofof the left hand.” “Yes. And Laura, I've thought of something to put inside. Semper eadem . ..[...] |
| [...]or more, Laura fed like a honeybee on the sweets of success. And throve — even to the blindest eye.[...]lacking was now hers: the admiration and applause of her circle. And never was a child so spurred and[...]touch with her, had they wished to make the most of her, would no more have stinted with the necessar[...]nder the present stimulus she sat top in a couple of classes, grew slightly ruddier in face, and much[...]door,” cried Miss Day thickly, from behind one of the long, dining-hall tables, on which were ranged stacks and piles of clean linen. She had been on early duty since six[...]in the same indistinct voice: she was in the grip of a heavy cold, which had not been improved by the draughts of the hall. “T'm sorry, Miss Day. I thought I ha[...]e moments, and was threatening to assume the bulk of an early Victorian novel. But she now built at he[...]edifice for her own enjoyment; and the usual fate of the robust liar had overtaken her: she was beginn[...]her critical alertness, her careful surveillance of detail. For, just a day or two before, she had seen a quick flare-up of incredulity light Tilly's face, and |
| [...]n company with several others, was in the garden, gettingof joint.” “Mine? What do you mean?” queried Laura, and had a faint sense of impending disaster. “What I say. M. Pidwall's[...]to recover her wits. Sitting on the extreme edge of the bedstead, she stared at the objects in the ro[...]ips, rocked herself to and fro, after the fashion of an older woman in pain. The fact was too appalli[...]this minute 7 drawn up in a line round the walls of the dining-hall. She saw them rise to wail out the hymn; saw Mr. Strachey on his chair in the middle of the floor, perpetually nimming with his left leg[...]cene to herself, she shivered with a sudden sense of isolation: behind each well-known face lur[...] |
| [...]ght that crystallised. Anyone else! .. . from any of the rest she might have hoped for some mercy. But Mary Pidwall was one of those people — there were plenty such — before whom a nature like Laura's was inclined, at the best of times, to shrink away, keenly aware of its own paltriness and ineffectualness. Mary was[...]life in her; but it was neither fun nor vivacity of a kind that Laura could feel at ease with. Such c[...]cut were only skin-deep; they were on the surface of her character, had no real roots in her: just as the pieces of music she played on the piano were accidents of the moment, without deeper significance. To Mary, life was already serious, full of duties. She knew just what she wanted, too, where[...]dried. She was clever, very industrious, the head of several of her classes. Nor was she ever in conflict with the authorities: she moved among the rules of the school as safely as an egg-dancer among his e[...]seemed to pass her by. There was, besides, a kind of manly exactness in her habit of thinking and speaking; and it was this trait her[...]symbolise, in calling her by the initial letters of her name. She and Laura, though classmates, had[...]. It is true, Mary was sixteen, and, at that time of life, a couple of years dig a wide breach. But there was also another reason. Once, in the innocence of her heart, Laura had let the cat out of the bag that an uncle ofof a church dignitary.“I should say I did know him[...]nderstood that Uncle Tom — he needed but a pair of gold earrings to pose as the model for a Spanish[...]was good for him; but she had never suspected him of being“dreadful”, or a byword in Wantabadgery. Colouring to the roots of her hair, she murmured something about him of course not being recognised by the rest of the family; but M. P., she was sure, had n[...] |
| bring back a precise account of how matters stood in the Shepherd household: not[...]e her brain could contemplate the awful necessity of rising and branding herself as a liar, it sought desperately for a means of escape. For a wink, she even nursed the idea of dragging in a sham man, under the pretence that M[...]t, would not pass muster. Against it was the mass of her accumulated detail. She sat there, devising scheme after scheme. Not one of them would do. When, at tea-time, she rose to wa[...]rom overwork. 7 Oh, how she would rejoice to hear of it! And, if the worst came to the worst and she[...]aver, and quite determined to make a clean breast of her misdoings. Things could not go on like this. But no sooner was she plunged into the routine of the day than her decision slackened: it wa[...] |
| [...]ept her up; but afterwards she had a stinging fit of remorse; and her self-reproaches were every whit as bitter as those of the man who has again broken the moral law he has[...]so darkened by her belief that M. P. had got wind of her romancings: as, indeed, was quite likely; for[...]overhead, the indigo-blue was a prodigal glitter of stars — myriads of silver eyes that perforated the sky. They sparkled with a cold disregard of the small girl standing under the mulberry tree;[...]ce. Her thoughts ran on suicide, on making an end of her blighted career. God was evidently not going[...]she saw the fifty-five gaining on her like a pack ofof tongues shouted her guilt; |
| [...]hool that morning, Laura never knew. At the sight of the great stone building her inner disturbance wa[...]do look a bit peaky. I'm sure your stomach's out of order. Your should take a dose of castor-oil to-night, before you go to bed.” Th[...]wnstairs; nothing could happen now till the close of morning school. But Laura signalised the beginning of her downfall, the end of her comet-like flight, by losing her place in on[...]prepared on Friday evening having gone clean out of her head. Directly half-past twelve struck, she ran to the top of the garden and hid herself under a tree. There sh[...]bout to face the scaffold, has ever had more need of Dutch courage than Laura in this moment. Peeping round the corner of the path she saw the fateful group: M. P. the centre of four gesticulating figures. She loitered till th[...]e instant Laura set foot in the hall, five pairs ofof tossing her head and braving things out, now that[...]e little liar!” “How's that shy little mouse of a girl we had here a month or two ago?”[...] |
| [...]a word, if it hadn't been for you.” This point of view enraged them.“What? You want to put it on[...]y little skunk! To say we made you tell that pack of lies? — Look here: as long as you stay in this[...]nd to her. They probably only asked her there out ofof it,” cried Laura, maddened. — And retreating[...]school, she wept her full. They all, every girl of them, understood white lies, and practised them. They might also have forgiven her a lie of the good, plain, straightforward, thumping order.[...]get over, was the extraordinary circumstantiality of the fictions which with she had gulled them: to b[...]Even the grown-up girls heard a garbled version of the story. “Whyever did you do it?” one of them asked Laura curiously; it was a very[...] |
| [...]suffered was known by that name. To the majority of the girls Coventry was just a word in the geograp[...]er impression on their young minds than the story of Lady Godiva, which was looked upon merely as a na[...]e for her behaviour. It was but another instance of how misfortune dogs him who is down, that Chinky[...]y moment to bring further shame upon her. On one of the miserable days that were now the rule, when L[...]ng upstairs one afternoon, she met Jacob, the man-of-all-work, coming down. He had a trunk on his shoulder. Throughout the day she had been aware of a subdued excitement among the boarders; they had[...]appeared at either meal, curiosity got the better of her, and she tried to pump one of the younger girls. Maria came up while she was s[...]as: she had taken half-a-sovereign from the purse of one of her room-mates. When taxed with the theft, she we[...], with this admission on her lips, she passed out of their lives, leaving Laura, her confederat[...] |
| the minds of most, liar and thief were synonymous. Laura had[...]ean and disgusting”, and said so, stormily; but of course was not believed. Usually too proud to def[...]urned to the charge again and again; for the hint of connivance had touched her on the raw. But she st[...]roperty; if she could do the one, she was capable of the other; and her companions remained convinced[...]r fingers in some one's purse, she had, by a love of jewellery, incited Chinky to the theft. And so, a[...]holidays. She drew twenty-one strokes on a sheet of paper, which she pinned to the wall above her bed[...]send her back to school: if she said she was not getting proper food, that would be enough to put Mother u[...]e to come home under two or three weeks, for fear of infection. These weeks she was to spend, in company with Pin, at a watering-place down the Bay, where one of her aunts had a cottage. The news was welcome to Laura: she had shrunk from the thought of Mother's searching eye. And at the cottage there would be none of her grown-up relatives to face; only an old housekeeper, who was looking after a party of boys. Hence, when speech day was over, instead of setting out on an up- country railway journey, Laura, under the escort of Miss Snodgrass, went on board one of the steamers that ploughed the Bay. “T should[...]ove: she was in great good-humour at the prospect of losing sight for a time of the fifty-five.“You seem to be always in the du[...]ra dutifully waved her handkerchief from the deck of the Silver Star; |
| [...]d, she settled herself on her seat with a feeling of immense relief. At last — at last she was off.[...]fore she showed up there again. Now, she was free of them; she would not be humiliated afresh, would not need to stand eye to eye with anyone who knew ofof which they swam. The sky was a stretched sheet of blue, in which the sun hung a very ball of fire. But the steamer cooled the air as it moved; and none of the white-clad people who, under the stretched wh[...], felt oppressed by the great heat. In the middle of the deck, a brass band played popular tunes. At[...]ose and crossed to the opposite railing. A number of passengers went ashore, pushing and laughing, but[...]nting their noses at you, watched over the safety of the Bay — in the event, say, of the Japanese or the Russians entering the Heads p[...]as they had rounded this corner they were in view of the Heads themselves. From the distant cliffs the[...]ngerous: on one side, there projected the portion of a wreck which had lain there as long as Laura had[...]ike buildings lying asleep in the fierce sunshine of the afternoon; and, in due course, it stopped at[...]ouses, the fenced-in baths and great gentle slope of yellow sand: it stood in the bush, on the |
| [...]de the old woman in her linen sunbonnet, the body of the vehicle being packed full of groceries and other stores; and the drive began. Directly they were clear of the township the road as good as ceased, became a mere sandy track, running through a scrub of ti-trees. — And what sand! White, dry, sliding[...]ered, in which the wheels sank and stuck. Had one of the many hillocks to be taken, the two on the box[...]branches sweep over their backs. About a couple of miles out, the old woman alighted and slipped a r[...]through a paddock, but at a walking-pace, because of the thousands of rabbit-burrows that perforated the ground. Another slip-rail lowered, they drew up at the foot of a steepish hill, beside a sandy little vegetable garden, a shed and a pump. The house was perched on the top of the hill, and directly they sighted it they also[...]rty tone into her greeting; for her first glimpse of Pin had given her a disagreeable shock. It was as[...]o climbed the hill together, to the accompaniment of Pin's bubbly talk, Laura stole look after look at her little sister, in the hope of growing used to what she saw. Pin had never been[...]— as Laura phrased it to herself. Eleven years of age, she had at last begun to grow in earnest: her legs were as of old mere spindleshanks, but nearly twice as long;[...]t little body, perched above them, made one think of a shrivelled-up old man who has run all to paunch[...]ce, so bespattered was it with freckles. And none of your pretty little sun-kisses; but large, black,[...]should be so ugly; and as Pin, in happy ignorance of her sister's reflections, chattered on, La[...] |
| [...]st day; and there were pleasanter things to think of. And so, when they had had tea — with condensed[...]that was all that could be undertaken in the way of refreshment after the journey; washing your face and hands, for instance, was out of the question; every drop of water had to be carried up the hill from the pump[...]the bush: from the verandah there was a wide view of the surrounding country. Between the back of the house and the beach rose a huge sand-hill, sp[...]e useless impedimenta; for the sand was once more of that loose and shifting kind in which you sank at[...]u climbed. But then, sand was the prevailing note of this free and easy life: it bestrewed verandah an[...]ou carried it in your clothes; the beds were full of it; it even got into the food; and you were soon so accustomed to its presence that you missed the grit of it under foot, or the prickling on your skin, did[...]the beach you had laboriously attained the summit of the great dune, the sight that met you almost too[...]h away: as far as the eye could reach, the bluest of skies melting into the bluest of seas, which broke its foam-flecked edge against t[...]most wonderful beach in the world. What a variety of things was there! Whitest, purest sand, hot to th[...]surf at all; seaweeds that ran through the gamut of colours: brown and green, pearl-pink and coral-pi[...]which the breakers had left their echo; the bones of cuttlefish, |
| [...]per, and shaped like javelins. And, what was best of all, this beach belonged to them alone; they had[...]treasures with strangers; except the inhabitants of the cottage, never a soul set foot upon it. The chief business of the morning was to bathe. If the girls were alone[...], you applied your soles gingerly to the prickles of the rock; then plop! — and in you went. Pin often needed a shove from behind, for nowhere, of course, could you get a footing; but Laura swam with the best. Some of the boys would dive to the bottom and bring up weeds and shells, but Laura and Pin kept on the surface of the water; for they had the imaginative dread common to children who know the sea well — the dread of what may lurk beneath the thick, black horrors of seaweed. Then, after an hour or so in the water, home to dinner, hungry as swagmen, though the bill of fare never varied: it was always rabbit for dinne[...]week, and meat could not be kept an hour without getting flyblown. The rabbits were skinned and in the ste[...]ingers to her ears; for she believed the sizzling of the water, as the fish were dropped in, to be the shriek of the creatures in their death-agony. Except in bathing, the girls saw little of the boys. Both were afraid of guns, so did not go out on the expeditions which[...]sions. For these took place by night, off the end of the reef, with nets and torches; and it sometimes happened, if the surf were heavy, that one of the fishers was washed off the rocks, and only ha[...]e outside world, every evening, in the brief span of time between sunset and dark. Running up to the top of one of the hills, and letting her eyes range over sky an[...]s that were waking to life after the burning heat of the day: salt water, |
| [...]ough which she had ploughed her way. That was one of the moments she liked best, that, and lying in bed at night listening to the roar of the surf, which went on and on like a cannonade,[...]: the boys slept in the lean-to on the other side of the kitchen; old Anne at the back. For miles round, no house broke the solitude of the bush; only a thin wooden partition separated[...]ble bushrangers, from the vastness and desolation of the night, the eternal booming of the sea. Such was the life into which Laura now threw herself heart and soul, forgetting, in the sheer joy of living, her recent tribulation. But even the pur[...]; she had ceased to look up to Laura as a prodigy of wisdom, and had begun to hold opinions of her own. She was, indeed, even disposed to be critical of her sister; and criticism from this quarter was m[...]y scorn, from her espoused views. They were those of the school at which for the past half-year she ha[...]t say so outright; perhaps she was not even aware of it; but Laura gathered from her talk that a boy a[...]— And to Laura this was the most knockdown blow of all. One day it came to an open quarrel b[...] |
| the reticent Laura some of those school-tales of which, in former holidays, she had been so prodig[...]ng to her heart's content, about the small doings of home. Laura listened to her with the impatient toleration of one who has seen the world: she really could not[...]o give you an extra shilling pocket-money, 'cause of it.” “Ofof her dashed business.” “Oh, Laura!” began P[...]words and tone.“Why, Laura, you're not ashamed of it, are you? — that mother does sewing?” —[...], were they not so often swollen with crying. “Of course not,” said Laura tartly.“But I'm bless[...]or you or anyone. I think you ought to be ashamed of yourself.” “Hold your silly tongue!” “T[...]uchy about her looks: at Laura's brutal statement of the truth she cried bitterly. “T'm not,[...] |
| [...]rah said last time you were home how fat you were getting.” “I'm sure I'm not,” said Laura, indignan[...]ou're a bad, wicked girl.” After this exchange of home truths, they did not speak to each other for[...]tted after the boys, who had dropped into the way of saying:“Come on, little Pin!” as they never s[...]s a pig-headed little ignoramus, as timid as ever of setting one foot before the other. And the rest of them would be just the same 7 old stick-in-the mu[...]seen the day on which she would find herself out of tune with her home circle; with unthinking assura[...]ympathy: if Pin talked such gibberish at the hint of putting off an inquisitive old woman, what would[...]she alone 7 what would they all say to the tissue of lies Laura had spun round Mr. Shepherd, a holy man, a clergyman, and a personal friend of Mother's into the bargain? She could not blink th[...]which she was safe from the slings and shanghais of the world. And then there was another thi[...] |
| unripe fruit; the fact that another of Sarah's teeth had dropped out without extraneous[...]all very well for a week or two, but, at the idea of shutting herself wholly up with such mopokes, of cutting herself off from her present vital intere[...]belonged. All her heart was there: in the doings of her equals, the things that really mattered — w[...]ides, could one who had experienced the iron rule of Mr. Strachey, or Mrs. Gurley, ever be content to go back and just form one of a family of children? She not, at any rate! Thus she lay, al[...]that this great boat was sailing off, with a load of lucky mortals, to some unknown, fairer world, whi[...]it was only the English mail going on to Sydney. Of Pin she preferred not to think; nor could she dwe[...]r on her reappearance; and since she had to think of something, she fell into the habit of making up might-have-been, of narrating to herself how things would have fallen[...]her ascetic hero the impetuous lover she had made of him. — In other words, lying prostrate on the sand, Laura went on with her story. When, towards the end of the third week, she and Pin were summoned[...] |
| [...]ealth and vigour with every breath. She had need of it all when, the golden holidays over, she return[...]ance at her; on every face was painted a reminder of her moral inferiority; and even newcomers among t[...]ra Rambotham was“not the thing”. This system of slight and disparagement was similar to what she[...]n thought, she never ceased to lay half the blame of what had happened on her companions! shoulders; a[...]came a rebel, wrapping herself round in the cloak of bitterness which the outcasts of fortune wear, feeding on her hate of those within the pale. Very well then, she said t[...]behaviour for many a day was, none the less, that of a footlicker; and by no sign did she indicate what she really was — a very unhappy girl. Like most rebels of her sex, she ardently desired to re-enter the fold of law and order; and it was to this end she worked,[...]A horrid little toady was the verdict; especially of those who had no objection |
| [...]to weigh her words before uttering them, instead of blurting out her thoughts in the childish fashion[...]particularly if her feelings ran counter to those of the majority. For, the longer she was at school,[...]majority is always in the right. In the shifting of classes that took place at the year's end, she left the three chief witnesses of her disgrace — Tilly, Maria, Kate — behind her. She was again among a new set of girls. But this little piece of luck was outweighed by the fact that, shortly aft[...]idwall's presence. For Mary knew not only the sum of her lies, but also held — or so Laura believed — that she came of a thoroughly degenerate family; thanks to Uncle T[...]adamant, unrelenting; Laura quailed at the sound of her step. And yet she soon felt, rightly enough, it was just in the winning over of this stern, rigid nature that her hope of salvation lay. If she could once get M. P. on her[...]— to Mary, who took none but the barest notice of her, even in the bedroom ignoring her as if she d[...]ving the necessary orders, for she was the eldest of the three, in tones of ice. But it needed a great wariness on Laura's pa[...]disdain for the cringer, knowing nothing herself of the pitfalls that lie in wait for a temper[...] |
| [...]what she said, and stick manfully to it, instead of, at the least hint, being ready to fly over to Mary's point of view: always though, of course, with the disquieting proviso in the backg[...]nobtrusive services, to which she thought neither of the girls could take exception; making their beds[...]n those classes that called only for the exercise of her memory, she soon sat high. The reason why she[...], and was not to be moved, even had Laura dreamed of attempting it. And at length, after three months of unremitting exertion in the course of which, because she had little peeps of what looked like success, the rebel in her went t[...]ard she out-heroded Herod, in her efforts to make of herself exactly what Mary thought she ought to be[...]icked against Mary's authority, been contemptuous of her unimaginative way of seeing and saying things, on the alert to[...] |
| of the few in the school who loved reading for its o[...]school-booky way, and hence was not thought much of. However, Laura felt drawn to her at once — eve[...]girl — and they sometimes got as far as talking of books they had read. From this whiff of her, Laura was sure that Cupid would have had more understanding than M. P. for her want of veracity; for Cupid had a kind of a dare-devil mind in a hidebound character, and was often very bold of speech. Yet it was not Cupid's good opinion she worked for, with might and main. The rate of her upward progress in Mary's estimation could be[...]day came when the elder girl spoke openly to her of her crime. At the first merciless words Laura winced hotly, both at and for the tactlessness of which Mary was guilty. But, the first shameful stab over, she felt the better of it; yes, it was a relief to speak to some one of what she had borne alone for so long. To speak of it, and even to argue round it a little; for, lik[...]iminals, did not divine that this was just a form of self-indulgence. It was Cupid who said:“Look here, Infant, you'll be getting cocky about what you did, if you don't look out.” Mary would not allow that a single one of Laura's excuses held water. “That's the sheere[...]way that so impressed Laura. — And this aspect of the case, which had never once occurred to her, l[...]Mary spoke, with the same fireless depreciation, of the behaviour of a classmate which had been brought to her notice[...]fariously“copied” from another, in the course of a written examination; and, as prefect ofof what's being said, I must tackle her. Just[...] |
| [...]. P. was obliged to pause; for she had put a lock of hair between her teeth while she did something to[...]crams! Have you ever thought, pray, what a state of things it would be, if we all went about telling[...]had never happened.” “You've a queer notion of what's funny. Have you utterly no respect for the truth?” “Yes, of course I have. But I say” 7 Laura, who always slipped quickly out of her clothes, was sitting in her nightgown on the edge of the bed, hugging her knees.“I say, M. P., if ev[...]uth. Can you do away with the Bible, pray?” “Of course not. But M. P. . . . The Bible isn't quite[...]believe in the Bible?” Laura drove back the:“Of course not!” that was all but over her l[...] |
| [...]any state, or laws, or any social life. It's one of the things that makes men different from animals,[...]r. — As for you, Infant, if you take the advice of a chap who has seen life, you'll keep your[...] |
| [...]s invited to join the boarders' Literary Society; of which Cupid and Mary were the leading spirits. This carried her back, at one stroke, into the swing of school life. For everybody who was anybody belong[...]ociety. And, despite her friendship with the head of her class, Laura still knew what it was to get th[...]o some extent her own fault. At the present stage of her career she was an extraordinarily prickly chi[...]ubt where no doubt was; and this wakeful attitude of suspicion towards others did not make for brotherly love. The amenity of her manners suffered, too: though she kept to her original programme of not saying all she thought, yet what she was forc[...]r imagination and her sympathies: under the aegis of M. P., she rapidly learned to be the latter's riv[...]t, Laura was well on the way towards becoming one of those uncomfortable people who, concerned only fo[...]hat she could make verses, and was also very fond of reading. At school, however, this taste had been[...]g in a clover field. Since Christmas, she was one of the few permitted to do morning practice on the g[...]; for this was the wonderful room round the walls of which low, open bookshelves ran; and she w[...] |
| [...]e shelves nearest the piano, it was in the nature of things that it was not invariably a happy one. Fo[...]er foods. To these must be reckoned a translation of Faust, which she read through, to the end of the First Part at least, with a kind of dreary wonder why such a dull thing should be cal[...]repast, she sought hard and it was in the course of this rummage that she had the strangest find of all. Running a skilled eye over the length of a shelf close at hand, she hit on a slim, blue volume, the title of which at once arrested her attention. For, notwit[...], and, I must say, extremely interesting, fashion of playing scales, Laura Rambotham! To hold, the for[...]from beginning to end!” Laura was unconscious of having sinned in this way. But it might quite wel[...]sy-turvy, though highly engrossing hour. In place of the children's story she anticipated, she had fou[...]in everyday happenings, so petty in its rendering of petty things, that it bewildered and repelled her[...]with realism, against such a dispiriting sobriety of outlook. Something within her wanted to cry out i[...]rried, and had children, and yet ate biscuits out of a bag and said she didn't; the man who called her[...]t irritating. — There was, moreover, no mention of a doll's house in the |
| whole three acts. The state of confusion this booklet left her in, she allayed with a little old brown leather volume of Longfellow. And Hyperion was so much more to her[...]t hung together, no doubt, with the after-effects of her dip into Ibsen that, on her sitting down to w[...]ety, her mind should incline to the most romantic of romantic themes. Not altogether, though: Laura's[...]ng gap to be bridged between her ready acceptance of the honourable invitation, and the composition of a masterpiece. Thanks to her wonted inability to[...]hts beyond the moment, she had been so unthinking of possible failure that Cupid had found it necessar[...]nging forth a word. First, there was the question of form: she considered, then abruptly dismissed, the idea of writing verses: the rhymes with love and dove, an[...]She decided on the novel. It should be a romance of Venice, with abundant murder and mystery in it, a[...]early enough, and could have related them by word of mouth; but did she try to write them down they ra[...]nd though she toiled quite literally in the sweat of her brow, yet when the eventful day came she had[...]day evening in an empty music-room. All were not, of course, equally productive: some had brought it n[...]and it was just these drones who, knowing nothing of the pother composition implied, criticised most stringently the efforts of the rest. Several members had pretty enoug[...] |
| [...]upid, who had a gift that threw Laura into a fit of amaze; and this was the ability to expand infini[...]y no impression. She suffered all the humiliation of a flabby fiasco, and, till bedtime, shrank out of her friends' way. “You were warned not to be t[...]?” “Second-hand? . . . But Cupid . . . think of Scott! He couldn't have seen half he told[...] |
| [...]you, and write about what's before them every day of your life?” “Do you think that would be bett[...]ed and scraggy, from the sheet; she had no wealth of words at her disposal in which to deck it out. So[...]n her, and prepared to make a faithful transcript of actuality. She called what she now wrote:“A Day[...]set down detail on detail; so fearful, this time, of over-brevity, that she spun the account out to twenty pages; though the writing of it was as distasteful to her as her reading of A Doll's House had been. At the subsequent meeting of the Society, expression of opinion was not lacking. “Oh, Jehoshaphat! How[...]reproached Cupid that night: she was on the brink ofof it.” Neither of the two elder girls was prepared to discuss this[...]nion is that you haven't any talent for this kind of thing. — Now turn off the gas.” As the light in the room went out, a kind of inner light seemed to go up in Laura; and both th[...]next literary contest she brought the description of an excursion to the hills and gullies that[...] |
| [...]incident which she described with all the aplomb of an eyewitness, had ever taken place. That is to say: not a word of her narration was true, but every word of it might have been true. And with this she had a[...]choked back her desire to cry out that not a word of her story was fact. She was long in falling asle[...]ited by her success; but also a new and odd piece of knowledge had niched itself in her brain. It was[...]talk with others, you must be exact to the point of pedantry, and never romance or draw the lo[...] |
| [...]ND then, alas! just as she rode high on this wave of approbation, Laura suffered another of those drops in the esteem of her fellows, another of those mental upsets, which from time to time had thrown her young life out of gear. True, what now came was not exactly her own fault; though it is doubtful whether a single one of her companions would have made her free of an excuse. They looked on, round-eyed, mouths a-s[...]lf from the flock, and to cut mad capers in sight of them all. And their delectation was as frank as t[...]ng. The affair began pleasantly enough. A member of the Literary Society was the girl with the twinkly brown eyes — she who had gone out of her way to give Laura a kindly word after the She[...]rl, Evelyn Souttar by name, was also the only one of the audience who had not joined in the laugh prov[...]s a hand with this.” — Latin had not been one of Evelyn's subjects, and she was now employing some of her spare time in studying the language with Mr. Strachey, who taught it after a fashion of his own.“How on earth would you say: ‘We had[...]ol mean by that?” and she pushed an open volume of Robinson Crusoe towards Laura. Laura helped to the best of her ability. |
| [...]e following afternoon Laura wryly took up armfuls of her belongings, mounted a storey higher, and depo[...]nd out, avoiding the hours when Evelyn was there, getting up earlier in the morning, hurrying into b[...] |
| “Of course — didn't you know? Old Gurley said I'd n[...]umbfounded, and too diffident, to ask the grounds of such a choice. But the knowledge that it was so,[...]ad not got beyond a surface friendliness with any of her fellows. Even those who had been her “chums” had wandered like shades through the groves of her affection: rough, teasing Bertha; pretty, laz[...]ral influence, clever, instructive Cupid: to none of them had she been drawn by any deeper sense of affinity. And though she had come to believe, in the course of the last, more peaceful year, that she had grown[...]nstant give-and-take intimacy implies; the liking of others had to be brought to her, unsought, she, o[...]eturn the liking, with interest, after the manner of a lonely, bottled-up child. And everything about Evelyn made it easy to grow fond of her. To begin with, Laura loved pretty things and[...]ever, and that counted; you did not make a friend of a fool. But her chief characteristics were a certain sound common sense, and an inexhaustible fund of good-nature — a careless, happy, laughing sunni[...]t to be selfish, which also meant standing a fire of disagreeable words and looks; and then, too, it w[...]or one who had never had a whim crossed to be out of humour. But, whatever its origin, the good[...] |
| [...]ed, she even seemed to lay weight on Laura's bits of opinions, which the girl had grown so chary of offering; and, under the sunshine of this treatment, Laura shot up and flowered like[...]eak out her thoughts again; she unbosomed herself of dark little secrets; and finally did what she wo[...]: sitting one night in her nightgown, on the edge of Evelyn's bed, she made a full confession of the pickle she had got herself into, over her vis[...]say, Kiddy, but that was rich. To think a chicken of your size sold them like that. It's the best joke[...]in this, the second telling, embroidered the edge ofof the miserable week she had spent, trying to make[...]ll. “Tommyrot! Never mind that old jumble-sale of all the virtues. It was jolly clever of a mite like you to bamboozle them as you did 7 take my word for that.” This jocose way of treating the matter seemed to put it in an entire[...]ed 7 and Laura never heard her say a harder thing of anyone than what she had just said about M[...] |
| fashion, on the side of her friend's bed. Evelyn had all the accumulated wisdom of eighteen, and was able to clear her young compani[...]nd was still called on to suffer — at the hands of the other sex, Evelyn pooh-poohed the subject. “Time enough in a couple of years for that. Don't bother your head about it i[...]you know, they liked to talk to quite little kids of seven and eight better than me.” “Perhaps yo[...]ghed again — laughed in all the conscious power of lovely eighteen. Overjoyed at this oneness of mind, Laura threw her arms round her friend's nec[...]on this very head that she had to bear the shock of a rude awakening. Evelyn's people came to Melbou[...]tle stern, and a young lady-friend. Only the four of them were present at dinner, and the meal passed off smoothly; though the strangeness of dining in a big hotel had the effect of tying Laura's tongue. Another thing that abashed her was the dress of the young lady, who sat opposite. This person — she must have been about the ripe age of twenty-five — was nipped into a tight little pink satin bodice, which, at the back, exposed the whole of two very bony shoulder-blades. But it was the front of the dress that Laura faced; and, having imbibed strict views of propriety from Mother, she wriggled on her[...] |
| [...]were in high frocks, behind. Evelyn made a face of laughing discontent.“It's so ridiculous the mater won't let me dress.” These words gave Laura a kind of stab.“Oh Evvy, I think you're ever so much nice[...]rn up all right.” There had been some question of a person of this name at dinner; but Laura had paid no great[...]d a camellia-bud in his buttonhole. For the space of a breathless second Laura connected him with the[...]eatre and its movable roof, in the gay trickeries of the Mikado, slowly fizzled out. Evelyn had no mor[...]n the intervals, the two kept up a perpetual buzz of chat, broken only by Evelyn's low laughs. Laura s[...]shut behind them, she fell into a tantrum, a fit of sullen rage, which she accentuated till Evelyn co[...]Evelyn laughed a little at this, but with an air of humorous dismay.“I must take care, then,[...] |
| [...]rs, and cried as loudly as she dared, in the hope of keeping her companion awake. But Evelyn was a mag[...]down on the sill. It was a bitterly cold night, of milky-white moonlight; each bush and shrub carved[...]and grass. Across Evelyn's bed fell a great patch of light: this, or the chill air would, it was to be[...], feeling the cold intensely after the great heat of the day. She hoped with all her heart that she would be lucky enough to get an inflammation of the lungs. Then, Evelyn would be sorry she had be[...]ow? Oh, you wicked child, you'll catch your death of cold! Get into bed at once.” And, the c[...] |
| [...]he “LAURA, you're a cipher!” “I'm nothing of the sort!” threw back Laura indignantly. “You're one yourself. 7 What does she mean, Evvy?” she asked getting out of earshot of the speaker. “Goodness knows. Don't mind her,[...]the streets, veiling things and people in clouds of gritty dust; the sky was still like the prolonged reflection of a great fire. The hoped-for change had not come, and the girls who strolled the paths of the garden were white and listless. They walked in couples, with interlaced arms; and members of the Matriculation Class carried books with them, the present year being one of much struggling and heartburning, and few leisure[...]id were together under an acacia tree at the gate of the tennis-court; and it was M. P. who had cast t[...]spot in their perambulation, a merry little lump of a girl called Lolo, who darted her head from side to side when she spoke, with the movements of a watchful bird 7 this Lolo called:“Evelyn, com[...]ut obeying the summons; for she felt Laura's grip of her arm tighten. “It's a secret. You must come[...]-haw!” and both laughed derisively. The object of their scorn stood at the farther end of the wire-net fence: all five fingers of her right hand were thrust through the holes of the netting, and held oddly and unconsciously out[...]was balanced breast-high on the narrow wooden top of the fence. “Mark my words, that child'l[...] |
| [...]nd to externals, saw that her companions made fun of her. But at the present pass, the strength of her feelings quite out-ran her capacity for self-[...]e felt, and though it made her the laughing-stock of the school. What scheme was the birdlike Lolo hat[...]e. — And meanwhile the familiar, foolish noises of the garden at evening knocked at her ear. On the other side of the hedge a batch of third-form girls were whispering, with choked lau[...]ferent did the tongue trip over a certain letter. Of two girls who were playing tennis in half-hearted[...]lew, carrying with it, from the kitchens, a smell of cabbage, of fried onions, of greasy dish-water. Then Evelyn returned, and a part, a part only of the cloud lifted from Laura's brow. “What did[...]ou?” said Laura furiously. And for a full round of the garden she did not open her lips. Her compan[...]d at it, and were surprised at Evelyn's endurance of the tyranny into which Laura's liking had[...] |
| [...]you like that colour, Miss C.?” She had a nest of cloth-patterns in her lap, and held one up as she[...]but I think I like a bottle-green better.” “Of course, I don't mean she'll end on the gallows, i[...]” Miss Snodgrass named, not without pride, one of the first warehouses in the city.“I've been sav[...]e something decent this time. Besides, I know one of the men in the shop, and I'm going to make them d[...]ly be fondness, on her part, for the Byronic atom of humanity she had attracted to her. However that[...]eldom apart. Evelyn did not often, as in the case of the birdlike Lolo, give her young tyrant cause fo[...]them. On the whole, though, she was very careful of her little friend's sensitive spots. She did not repeat the experiment of taking Laura out with her; as her stay at school[...]the reason that, no matter how late it was on her getting back, she would find Laura obstinately sit[...] |
| [...]rdinarily suspicious; and the elder girl had need of all her laughing kindness to steer her way through the shallows of distrust. For a great doubt of Evelyn's sincerity had implanted itself in Laura's mind: she could not forget the incident of the “mostly fools”; and, after an evening of this kind, she never felt quite sure that Evelyn was not deceiving her afresh out of sheer goodness of heart, of course — by assuring her that she had had a“h[...]with her; when the truth was that, in the company of some moustached idiot or other, she had enjoyed herself to the top of her bent. On the night Laura learned that her fr[...]you're not going to marry that horrid man?” “Of course not, goosey. But that doesn't mean that I'[...]uss about?” It was not so easy to say. She was of course reconciled, she sobbed, to Evelyn marrying[...]ort, Evelyn was to marry only to escape the odium of the single life. Having drawn this sketch of her future word by word from the weeping Laura, Evelyn fell into a fit of laughter which she could not stifle.“Well, Popp[...]id when she could speak,“‘if that's your idea of happiness for me, we'll postpone it just a[...] |
| [...]breath —“I thought you liked me best.” “Of course I like you, you silly child! But that's al[...]s only as long as no man was in question. And out of the sting, Laura added:“Wait till I'm grown up, and I'll show them what I think of them — the pigs!” This time Evelyn had to hold her hand in front of her mouth. “No, no, I don't mean to laugh at yo[...]muddle. In this, the last and most momentous year of her school life, at the close of which, like a steep wall to be scaled, rose the u[...]she could link it to nothing else: in the middle of an important task, her thoughts would stray to co[...]or the evening, Laura gave up her meagre pretence of study altogether, and moodily propped her head in[...]ck Laura was startled, with a pounding heart, out of her first sleep; and lighting the gas she sat up[...]committing things to memory: the subsequent hours of sleep seemed rather to etch the facts into[...] |
| [...]ime drew, the more completely did the coming loss of Evelyn push other considerations into the backgro[...]o more strength to endure than the thin pretences of friendship she had hitherto played at. Evelyn and[...]in each other again; but their homes lay hundreds of miles apart; and the intimacy of the schooldays was passing away, never to return.[...]eed her. No, it was just a stupid, crushing piece of ill-luck, which happened one did not know why. Th[...]h one can only bow one's head. 7 A further effect of the approaching separation was to bring home to her a sense of the fleetingness of things; she began to grasp that, everywhere and a[...]were perpetually rushing to a close; and the fact of them being things you loved, or enjoyed, was powerless to diminish the speed at which they escaped you. Of course, though, these were sensations rather than[...]ood to reason: no matter how fond two people were of each other, the one who was about to emerge, like[...]7 at these moments she thought she scented a dash of relief in Evelyn, at the prospect of deliverance. But such delicate hints on the part of the hidden self are rarely able to gain a[...] |
| [...]at midwinter, Laura, together with the few dunces of her class, was ignominiously plucked. And[...] |
| [...]anything about“tests”; and Laura had no idea of enlightening her. She held her peace, and through[...]nation, having always lightly skimmed the surface of them on the wings of her parrot-like memory; hence, at home no one sus[...]aw chiefly rocks ahead. If she did not succeed in getting through the final examination in summer, she woul[...]'s eyes, have been for naught. For Mother was one of those people who laid tremendous weight on prizes[...]. Besides this, she could not afford in the event of a failure, to pay the school-fees for another yea[...]tle minds and bodies clamoured for a larger share of attention. And Laura's eyes were rudely opened to[...]oth ends meet, while her first-born was acquiring wisdom; for Mother spoke of it herself, spoke openly of her means and resources, perhaps with some idea of rousing in Laura a gratitude that had so far been[...]which covered days; in sitting moodily at the top of the fir tree which she climbed in defiance of her length of petticoat glaring at sunsets, and brooding on dea[...]g, solitary, evening walks, by choice on the heel of a thunderstorm, when the |
| red earth was riddled by creeklets of running water; till Mother, haunted by a lively fear of encounters with“swags” or Chinamen, put her f[...]er most frequent companion, had to bear the brunt of her acrimony: hence the two were soon at war again. For Pin was tactless, and took small heed of her sister's grumpy moods, save to cavil at them. Laura's buttoned- upness, for instance, and her love of solitude, were perverse leanings to Pin's mind; and she spoke out against them with the assurance of one who has public opinion at his back. Laura retaliated by falling foul of little personal traits in Pin: a nervous habit she had of clearing her throat — her very walk. They quarr[...]y, having branched as far apart as the end-points of what is ultimately to be a triangle, between whic[...]I will!” threatened Sarah, called by the noise ofof hair off her perspiring forehead with the back of her hand.“All I say is, big girls as you are, you deserve to have the nonsense whipped out of you. — As for you, Laura, if this is your only[...]I wish from my heart you'd never seen the inside of that Melbourne school.” “How pretty your eye[...]oury!” said Laura, struck by the vivid contrast of black and white. She merely stated the fact, with[...]skilfully lifting and turning a large, thin sheet of paste. “You can't get round me like that[...] |
| [...]ted Laura, who inclined to charge the inhabitants of the township with an extreme provinciality.“And[...]tell stories, I suppose?” “Well, if a child of mine doesn't know the difference between being po[...]shame!” she wound up lamely, after the fashion of hot-tempered people who begin a sentence without[...]as roused to defend her present self, at the cost of her past perfections; and this gave rise to new dissensions. So that in spite of what she had to face at school, she was not altog[...]etic relations. She journeyed to Melbourne on one of those pleasant winter days when the sun shines fr[...]till night in a cloudless sky, and the chief mark of the season is the extraordinary greenness of the grass; returned a pale, determined, lanky girl, full of the grimmest resolutions. The first few days were like a bad dream. The absence of Evelyn came home to her in all its crushing force[...]en, she had been everywhere. There was now a kind of emptiness about the great school — except for m[...]dolatrous attachment to Evelyn had been the means of again drawing round her one of those magic circles, which held her schoolfellows at a distance. And the aroma of her eccentricity still clung to her. The members of her class were deep in study, too; little was now thought or spoken of but the approaching examinations. And her first g[...]bone, endeavouring to pack the conscientious work of twelve months into less than six. The day[...] |
| [...]ght when she lay wakeful, haunted by the prospect of failure, she turned over the leaves of her Bible 7 she had been memorising her weekly po[...]. By chance she lighted on the Fourteenth Chapter of St John, and the familiar, honey-sweet words fell[...]e caresses. Her tears flowed; both at the beauty of the language and out of pity for herself; and before she closed the Book, she knew that she had found a well of comfort that would never run dry. In spite of a certain flabbiness in its outward expression, deep down in Laura the supreme faith of childhood still dwelt intact: she believed, with her whole heart, in the existence of an all-knowing God, and just as implicitly in His[...]most, she had had recourse to Him for forgiveness of sin. Now, however, the sudden withdrawal of a warm, human sympathy seemed to open up a new us[...]it was for Him to fill this void with the riches of His love. 7 And she comforted herself for her previous lack of warmth, by the reminder that His need also was chiefly of the heavy-laden and oppressed. In the spurt of intense religious fervour that now set in for her[...]e, rather than to the remoter God the Father. For of the latter she carried a kind of Michelangelesque picture in her brain: that of an old, old man with a flowing grey beard, who s[...]Christ, on the contrary, was a young man, kindly of face, and full of tender invitation. To this younger, tenderer God[...]eased that she could not longer consume the smoke of her own fire: it overspread her daily life 7 to the renewed embarrassment of her schoolfellows. Was it then impossible, they a[...]ladylike way. Must she at every step put them out of countenance? It was not respectable to be so ferv[...]t. Whereas she committed the gross error in taste of, as it were, parading it outside her other clothe[...]indifferent did she grow to the people and things of this world. |
| [...]in. I will love Thee and serve Thee, all the days of my life, till death us do... I mean, only let me[...]t do for Thee in return. Oh, dear Lord Jesus, Son of Mary, hear my prayer, and I will worship Thee and[...]ake, Amen.” It came to this: Laura made a kind of pact with God, in which His aid at the present ju[...]aining on her knees for such an immoderate length of time that her room-mates, who were sleepy, openly[...]rvice, or to shirk the minutest ceremony by means of which He might be propitiated and won over. Her prayers of greeting and farewell, on entering and lea[...] |
| [...]s; she did not doze or dream over a single clause of the Litany, with its hypnotising refrain; and she not only made the sign of the Cross at the appropriate place in the Creed, but also privately at every mention of Christ's name. Meanwhile, of course, she worked at her lessons with unflagging[...]by no means her intention to throw the whole onus of her success on the Divine shoulders. She overworked; and on one occasion had a distressing lapse of memory. And at length spring was gone and summer[...]h, she was not alone in her trepidation. The eyes of even the surest members of the form had a steely glint in them, and mouths w[...]ompulsory; high-steppers took nine. Laura was one of those with eight, and since her two obligatory ma[...]ct. In the beginning, things, with the exception of numbers, went pretty well with her. Then came the[...]ry overtaxed, by her having had to cram the whole of Green's History of the English People in a few months, besides a large dose of Greece and Rome. Reports ran of the exceptionally “catchy” nature of Dr Pughson's questions; and Laura's prayer, the n[...]ide consideration, and Dr Pughson made short work of the intruder — a red-haired little girl,[...] |
| got to go, I suppose, or we might deprive the concert of your shining light. 7 Hurry back, now. Stir your stumps!” But this Laura had no intention of doing. In handling the printed slip, her lagging[...]st and most Vital question:“Give a full account of Oliver Cromwell's Foreign Policy.” 7 And she di[...]terview with the music-master, put questions wide of the point, insisted on lingering till he had arra[...]lish, she strove in vain to recall jot or tittle of Oliver's relations to foreign powers. 7 Oh, for just a peep at the particular page of Green! For, if once she got her cue, she believed[...]astily and clumsily button this inside the bodice of her dress. The square, board-like appearance it gave her figure, where it projected beyond the sides of her apron, she concealed by hunching her shoulder[...]verandah; and she was so overcome by the thought of the danger she had run, and by Miss Blount's extr[...]he door. From her friends' looks, she could judge of the success they were having. Cupid, for instance[...]eant satisfaction; M. P.'s cheeks were the colour of monthly roses. And soon Laura, crouching low to c[...]she reflected, when she had got the easier part of the paper behind her. Why could it not have been[...]and Wills, or the Eureka Stockade, or the voyages of Captain Cook? . . . something about one's own country, that one had heard hundreds of times and was really interested in. Or a big, arresting thing like the Retreat of the Ten Thousand, or Hannibal's March over[...] |
| [...]ssed her hand to her eyes. She knew the very page of Green on which Cromwell's foreign relations were set forth; knew where the paragraph began, near the foot of the page: what she could not get hold of was the opening sentence that would have set her[...]looked up so unexpectedly that she was scared out of her senses, and fastened her dress again with all the haste she could. Three or four of the precious minutes were lost. At this point, t[...]o the room. Dr Pughson blinked up from the stacks of papers, rose, and the two spoke in low tones. The[...]ly away, going down the verandah in the direction of the office. Now for it! With palsied hands she u[...]p was given, she had covered the requisite number of sheets. Afterwards she had adroitly to rid herself of the book, then to take part — a rather pale-eye[...]en each candidate was as long-winded on the theme of her success, or non-success, as a card-player on his hand at the end of a round. Directly she could make good her[...] |
| [...]believe that He had helped her at all: His manner of doing it would have been so inexpressibly mean. B[...]d the conclusion that He had given her the option of this way, throwing it open to her and then standi[...]nclined she grew to think that it had been a kind of snare on the part of God, to trap her afresh into sin, and thus to pro[...]m always crawling to His feet. And from this view of the case her ingenuous young mind shrank appalled[...]o on loving and worshipping a God who was capable of double dealing; who could behave in such a“mean[...]orget His having forced her to endure the moments of torture she had come through that day. Lying on her bed, she grappled with these thoughts. A feeling of deep resentment was their abiding result. Whatever His aim, it had been past expression pitiless of Him, Him who had at His command thousands of pleasanter ways in which to help her, thus to dri[...]ted by selfish ends alone. What she had implored of Him touched Mother even more nearly than herself:[...]7 she would give Him His due 7 but at the expense of her entire self-respect. Oh, He must have a cold,[...]. could one only see right down into it. The tale of His clemency and compassion, which the Bible told[...]be interpreted literally: when one came to think of it, had He ever 7 outside the Bible 7 been known[...]anions 7 the companions on whom, from the heights of her piety, she had looked pityingly down 7[...] |
| [...]was it possible for her to recover the shattering of her faith, and settle down to practise religion after the glib and shallow mode of her friends. She did not, however, say her prayer[...]e held her head erect, and shut the ears and eyes of her soul. |
| [...]hand, the fifth-form boarders, under the tutelage of a couple of governesses, drove off early in the morning to th[...]t the driver pushed his cigar-stump to the corner of his mouth, to be able to smile at ease, and flick[...]ughson's hands; and its accompanying details were of an agreeable nature: the weather was not too hot;[...]him. Then came the annual concert, at which none of the performers broke down; Speech Day, when the body of a big hall was crowded with relatives and friends[...]n the platform, that this looked like a great bed of blue and white flowers; and, finally, trunks were[...]ura, Cupid, and M. P. walked the well-known paths of the garden once again. While the two elder girls[...]d never wholly recovered her humour since the day of the history- examination; and she still could not[...]y in which she had placed herself one little turn of the wheel in the wrong direction, and the end of her schooldays would have been shame and disgrace. — And just as her discovery of God's stratagem had damped her religious ardour,[...]she had been obliged to employ had left a feeling of enmity in her, towards the school and ever[...] |
| was a kind of ache in her at having to say good-bye; for it was in her nature to let go unwillingly of things, places and people once known. Besides, gl[...], she was unclear what was to come next. The idea of life at home attracted her as little as ever —[...]itions she would be happy; she was conscious only of a mild sorrow at having to take leave of the shelter of years. Her two companions had no such doubts and[...]ast was already dead and gone; their talk was all of the future, so soon to become the present. They f[...]f in their power to do so, which is the hall-mark of youth. Laura, walking at their side, listened to[...]M. P. proposed to return to Melbourne at the end of the vacation; for she was going on to Trinity, wh[...]g. Then I shall probably be able to have a school of my own some day.” “T shouldn't wonder if you[...]ed Mary, and set her lips in a determined fashion of her own.“‘Stranger things have happened.” Cupid, less enamoured of continual discipline, intended to be a writer.“[...]for your B.A.?” “No thanks! I've had enough of that here.” And Laura's thoughts waved their hands, as it were, to the receding figure of Oliver Cromwell. |
| [...].! I never want to hear a date or add up a column of figures again.” “Laura!” “Tt's the sole[...]ing a single wish!” “Wish? ... oh, I've tons of wishes. First I want to be with Evvy again. And then, I want to see things — yes, that most of all. Hundreds and thousands of things. People, and places, and what they eat, an[...]ged letters regularly, many-sheeted letters, full of familiar, personal detail. Then the detail ceased[...]timately even these ceased; and the great silence of separation was unbroken. Nor were the promises redeemed: there came to Laura neither gifts of books nor calls to be present at academic robings. Within six months of leaving school, M. P. married and settled down in[...]and thereafter she was forced to adjust the rate of her progress to the steps of halting little feet. Cupid went a-governessing, and spent the best years of her life in the obscurity of the bush. And Laura? . . . In Laura's case, no kindly Atropos snipped the thread of her aspirations: these, large, vague, extemporary[...]went out from school with the uncomfortable sense of being a square peg, which fitted into none of the round holes of her world; the wisdom she had got, the experience she was richer by, had, in the process of equipping her for life, merely seemed to disclose[...]seeming unfitness prove to be only another aspect of a peculiar and special fitness. But, of the after years, and what they brought her, it is not the purport of this little book to tell. It is enough to say: ma[...]ortals who feel cramped and unsure in the conduct of everyday life, will find themselves to rig[...] |
| [...]re the shadow is the substance, and the multitude of business pales before the dream. In the meantime, however, the exodus of the fifty-five turned the College upside-down. E[...]ot to be on so imposing a scale as the departures of her schoolfellows. They, under special escort, wo[...]s in Melbourne on a visit, were to spend a couple of days at Godmother's before starting up-country. E[...]moment came, and Miss Chapman's mind was so full of other things that she went on giving orders while[...]ot destined to leave the walls, within the shadow of which she had learned so much, as tamely as all t[...]her. As she whisked about the corridors in search of Mrs. Gurley, she met two girls, one of whom said:“I say, Laura Rambotham, you're fetch[...]on-room Laura tried hard to see Pin with the eyes of a stranger. Pin rose from her chair — awkwardly, of course, for there were other people present, and[...]grudge Pin being pretty: it was only the newness of the thing that hurt — a keener stab was it that[...]epeatedly, and with all the stress she was master of, to come in a wagonette to fetch her, so that she might at least drive away like the other girls; in spite of this, the little nincompoop had |
| after all arrived on foot. Godmother had said the idea of driving was stuff and nonsense — a quite unnecessary expense. Pin, of course, had meekly given in; and thus Laura's las[...]like her companions came to naught. She went out of the school in the same odd and undignified fashio[...]ath, across the road, and over into the precincts of a large, public park. Only when they were some di[...]She was off, had darted away into the leaden heat of the December morning, like an arrow from its bow,[...]Pin was faced by the swift and rhythmic upturning of her heels. There were not many people abroad at t[...]half-grown girl in white, whose thick black plait of hair sawed up and down as she ran; and a man with[...]ing smaller and smaller in the distance, the area of her movements decreasing as she ran, till she app[...]d not much larger than a figure in the background of a picture. Then came a sudden bend in the[...] |
TXT | |
| The Getting Of Wisdom Richardson, Henry Handel (1870-1946) University of Sydney Library Sydney[...] |
| [...]u/ozlit © University of Sydney Library. The texts and Images are[...]rks retained as data All unambiguous end-of-line hyphens have been removed, and the trailing part of a word has been joined to the preceding line.[...]NieceStaff Proof-reading and correction of spelling errors against printed edition. The Getting Of Wisdom London Heinemann 1931 |
| The Getting Of Wisdom Wisdom is the principal thing; therefore get wisdom: and with all thy getting get understanding. Proverbs, iv. 7 |
| [...]ike green velvet — and the Prince saw the marks of travel on her garments. The bottom ofof her robe was all muddy — no, I don't think I wi[...]in golden sandals peeping out from under the hem of the silken gown, and ---- ” “But what about the marks of travel?” asked Leppie. “Donkey! haven't I[...], parrakeets!” cried little Frank. Four pairs of eyes went up to the bright green flock that was p[...]ie. “No, not another word. You can only think of sheets and parrakeets.” “Please, Won[...] |
| [...]t, with the dress in her hand. Laura wriggled out of the one she had on, and stood stiffly and ungraci[...]t,” said Laura, looking down. “It's nothing of the kind,” said Mother, with her mouth full of pins. “It is, it's much too short.” Mothe[...]it I'd like to know!” said Mother, on the verge of losing her temper over the back folds, which woul[...], so different was it from her own hearty fashion of venting displeasure. Pin began to sniff, in sheer[...]her, now angry in earnest, got up and bounced out of the room. “Laura, how can you?” said Pin, d[...]he other girls will have dresses down to the tops of their boots, and they'll laugh at me, and call me a baby;” and touched by the thought of what lay before her, she, too, began to sniffle.[...]o roll the dress up and to throw it unto a corner of the room. She also kicked the ewer, which[...] |
| [...]when Mother in a sorry voice said:“I'm ashamed of you, Laura. And on your last day, too,” her thr[...]ah called her“high-stomached”, to the delight of the other children and her own indignation; she h[...]ut had no time to gather them, a bouquet the size of a cabbage. Pin and the boys were summoned to help[...]s were full, Laura led the way to a secluded part of the garden on the farther side of the detached brick kitchen. In this strip, which[...]es screened the fence; jessamine climbed the wall of the house and encircled the bedroom windows; and[...]ts here rather than in the big garden at the back of the house; and many were the times they had all b[...]h a darker border, the whole surrounded by a ring of violet leaves — she looked about for something[...]o string in the kitchen, so Pin ran to get a reel of cotton. But while she was away Laura had a[...] |
| [...]naged to grab, without losing her balance, a pair of scissors from the chest of drawers. With these between her teeth she emerged, to the excited interest of the boys who watched her open-mouthed. Laura ha[...]ng early, Mother brushed and twisted, with a kind of grim pride, these silky ringlets round her finger[...]d were durance vile to Laura, the child was proud of her hair in her own way; and when in the street s[...]m among these long, glossy curls, she now cut one of the longest and most spiral, cut it off close to[...]ment: they looked upon her as the personification of all that was startling and unexpected. But Pin, returning with the reel ofof her perpetual wateriness. “Be a cry-baby, do.” But she was not damped, she was lost in the pleasure of self-sacrifice. Pin looked after her as[...] |
| [...]Laura did not go indoors; hiding against the wall of the flagged verandah, she threw her bouquet in at[...]her, recognised the peace- offering, and thought of the surprise cake that was to go into Laura's box[...]owers in water for her, and that would be the end of it. The idea of a word of thanks would have made Laura feel uncomfortable. Now, however, at the tone of Mother's voice, her mouth set stubbornly. She wen[...]you to bed without any supper!” — an unheard-of threat on the part of Mother, who punished her children in any way but that of denying them their food.“It's a very good thing[...]ld have four naughty children on my hands instead of one. — But I'd be ashamed to go to school such[...]n't,” said Mother, who was vexed at the thought of the child going among strangers thus disfigured.[...]em in the passage. “Well, you 'ave made a guy of yourself this time, Miss Laura, and no mis[...] |
| [...]she stealthily made a chink and took in the slice of cake Pin had left on the door-mat. Her natural buoyancy of spirit was beginning to reassert itself. By brush[...]ad retired — Mother smiled a stern little smile of amusement to herself; and before locking u[...] |
| [...]nightgown to her, in such a way as to expose all of her thin little legs. “Come on,” urged Pin.[...]n, owed to her rotund little body and mere sticks of legs — she was“all belly” as Sarah put it — and the mere mention of it made Pin fly; for she was very touchy about he[...]n as the door closed behind her, Laura sprang out of bed and, waiting neither to wash herself nor to s[...]'ad a row on your last day.” Laura stole out of the door and ran down the garden to the summer- house. This, the size of a goodly room, was formed of a single dense, hairy-leafed tree, round the trunk of which a seat was built. Here she cowered, her elb[...]e wore the stiff expression that went by the name of “Laura's sulks,” but her eyes were big, and as watchful as those of a scared animal. If Sarah came to fetch her she w[...]e — about a week ago Mother had tried this kind of thing. Then, she had been caught unawares.[...] |
| [...]oys had been allowed to paste on this a big sheet of notepaper, which bore, in Mother's writing, the w[...]but also with a side-glance at the generous pile ofgetting any dinner.” Pin's face fell at this prospec[...]ft little heart going to school began to seem one of the blackest experiences life held. “Why, sh[...]and choked down a lump in her throat with a gulp of tea. But when Pin had gone with Sarah to pick som[...]coming this morning, if I didn't give you a penny of pocket-money to take to school.” Laura had h[...]ought it wiser not to reply. Gobbling up the rest of her breakfast she slipped away. With the other children at her heels she made a round of the garden, bidding good-bye to things and[...] |
| [...]mb to the very tree-top; there was the wilderness of bamboo and cane where she had been Crusoe; the an[...]Passing behind a wooden fence which was a tangle of passion-flower, she opened the door of the fowl-house, and out strutted the mother-hen followed by her pretty brood. Laura had given each of the chicks a name, and she now took Napoleon and[...]movements in respectful silence. Between the bars of the rabbit hutch she thrust enough greenstuff to[...]accompanied by a legless magpie, which, in spite of its infirmity, hopped cheerily and quickly on its[...]o. The chicks'll be all right. Sarah'll take care of them, 'cause of the eggs. But Maggy and the bunnies don't have eg[...]to forget; but Laura was not satisfied until each of them in turn had repeated, in a low voice,[...] |
| [...]trip to the skin. The boys announced the coming of the coach with shrill cries, and simultaneously the rumble of wheels was heard. Sarah came from the kitchen dry[...]n', not 'er.” The ramshackle old vehicle, one of Cobb's Royal Mail Coaches, big- bodied, lumbering[...]k at 'em, will you? — But my! Ain't you ashamed of yourself” — he spoke to Pin —“pipin' your[...]— they were to ride with Laura to the outskirts of the township. The little boys giggled excitedly a[...]oots if you get your feet wet. And don't lean out of the window in the train.” For some time past Laura had had need of all her self-control, not to cry |
| [...]dressing, she had resorted to counting the number of times the profile of a Roman emperor appeared in the flowers on the wallpaper. Now the worst moment of all was come — the moment of good-bye. She did not look at Pin, but she heard[...]d-bye.” She could not, however, restrain a kind of dry sob, which jumped up her throat. When she[...]wiches. And when you're alone, feel in the pocket of your ulster and you'll find something nice. Good-[...]m elsewhere.” But she sighed again, in spite of the energy of her words, and stood gazing at the place where th[...]s still a comparatively young woman, and straight of body; but trouble, poverty and night-watches had[...]spoke absently, drawing her metaphor from a brood of chickens which had strayed across the road[...] |
| children,” said Sarah with impatience.“You think of nothin' else. It 'ud be a great deal better if yo[...]ides I guess school'll knock all the nonsense out of 'er.” “Oh, I hope they won't be too hard on[...]se the gate. This had not entered into her scheme of work for the day, and her cooking was still undon[...]ress, as she otherwise would have made no scruple of doing; for she knew that nothing was more helpful[...]days”. For the drawing-room was the storehouse of what treasures had remained over from a past pros[...]o listen, had with time gathered some vague ideas of a country like“Inja”, for example, whe[...] |
| [...]d- haired daughter, should put her fuzzy head out of the window — for Miss Perrotet had also been to boarding-school, and thought very highly of herself in consequence, though it had only been f[...]tores and the flour-mill, and were come to a part of the road where the houses were fewer, her tears b[...]ry last house was left behind, the high machinery of the claims came into view, the watery flats where[...]s dismay at Pin, and as little Frank showed sighs of beginning, too, by puckering up his face and doub[...]had the stomach- ache. Laura had one more glimpse of the children standing hand in hand — even in he[...]her sight. She was alone in the capacious body of the coach, alone, and the proud excitement of parting was over. The staunchly repressed[...] |
| [...]ut sat clutching her handkerchief and staring out of the window. The woman's good-natured curiosity, h[...]D'you hear? — Why, whatever's your ma thinkin' of to send such a little chick as you to boardin'-sc[...]one, too.” Laura's face took on a curious air of dignity. “I'm not so very little,” she answ[...]gh: the widow, Laura's mother, had the reputation of being very “stuck-up”, and of bringing up her children in the same way.[...] |
| [...]The woman said:“Tch, tch, tch!” at the length of the journey Laura was undertaking, and Peter, gro[...]er in declining it; she was mortified at the idea of being bribed, as it were, to be good, just as though she were Pin or one of the little boys. It was a punishment on her for h[...]so familiar. — The very largeness and rosiness of the fruit made it hateful to her, and she turned over in her mind how she could get rid of it. As the coach bumped along, her fellow-passe[...]the driver's pleasant face appeared at the window of the coach. In one hand he held a glass, in the other a bottle ofof the apple. Laura's throat was parched with[...] |
| [...]the leprous Chinaman's hut and the market garden of Ah Chow, who twice a week jaunted at a half-trot[...]coach had halted to apply the brakes, at the top of the precipitous hill that led down to the railway[...]l, and seemed hardly able to crawl. At the foot of the hill the little town lay sluggish in the sun.[...]the chief claims were worked out; and the coming of the railway had been powerless to give it the imp[...]ew life. It was always like this in these streets of low, verandahed, red-brick houses, always dull an[...]was, was invariably to be found before the doors of the many public-houses. At one of these the coach stopped and unloaded its goods, f[...]nd Laura drew back in confusion from the laughter of a group of larrikins round the door. It was indeed high ti[...]believed she had safely hidden under the cushions of the coach. Red to the roots of her hair she had to receive it before a number of heads put out to see what the matter was, and she[...]e to Melbourne.” Directly the train was clear of the station, she lowered a window and, taking aim[...]le from her with all her might. Then she hung out of the window, as far out as she could, till[...] |
| [...]e by herself, and there was an intoxicating sense of freedom in being locked in, alone, within the narrow compass of the compartment. She was at liberty to do everyth[...]When she had finished, had brushed herself clean of crumbs and handled, till her finger-tips were sor[...]she had found in her pocket, she fell to thinking of them at home, and of what they would now be doing. It was between two and three o'clock: the sun would be full on the flagstones of the back verandah; inch by inch Pin and Leppie wo[...]l be sitting there, still sewing, when the shadow of the fir tree, which at noon was shrunken like a d[...]en had opened the front gate to play in the shade of the public footpath. — At the thought of these shadows, of all the familiar things she would not see again f[...]nto motion again, she fell into a pleasanter line of thought. She painted to herself, for the hundredt[...]ol, and in a spacious apartment, which was a kind of glorified Mother's drawing-room, was being introduced to a bevy of girls. They clustered round, urgent to make the acquaintance of the newcomer, who gave her hand to each with an e[...]d, and so short that it did not cover the flounce of her dress, and this dress, and her hat wit[...] |
| though they stood agape at her cleverness: none of them could claim to have absorbed the knowledge of a whole house. With one of her admirers she had soon formed a friendship that was the wonder of all who saw it: in deep respect the others drew back, forming a kind of allée, down which, with linked arms, the two fri[...]selves. — And having embarked thus upon her sea of dreams, Laura set sail and was speedily borne awa[...]alongside a gravelled platform, among the stones of which a few grass-blades grew. This was Melbourne. At the nearer end of the platform stood two ladies, one stout and elde[...]it caused the speaker, with the showy red lining of her hat, at which she believed their eyes[...] |
| [...]was her especial favourite and she made no secret of it. Her companion on the platform was a cousin of Laura's, of at least twice Laura's age, who invariably struck awe into the children by her loud and ironic manner of speech. She was an independent, manly person, in spite of her plump roundnesses; she lived by herself in lo[...]essed whether it could be got on to the back seat of the pony-carriage, to which it was conveyed by a[...]guess she'll be thanking her stars she's got rid of you;” at which Laura smiled uncertainly, not be[...]jest or earnest. “I suppose you think no end of yourself going to boarding-school?” continued t[...]ned her whole wardrobe; and she wondered how many of Godmother's own ample gowns could be compressed i[...]eath, that you may be as well dressed as the rest of them,” said Godmother, and heaved a doleful sig[...]laughed the wide laugh that displayed a mouthful of great healthy teeth. “What? All your c[...] |
| [...]the allusion, which referred to a former ambition of Laura's. “Don't talk such nonsense to the child[...]: the pony-chaise wobbled at random from one side of the road to the other, obstacles looming up only[...]ook and tossed their heads at the constant sawing of the bits, and Laura had to be continually ducking, to keep out of the way of the reins. She let the unfamiliar streets go past her in a kind of dream; and there was silence for a time, broken o[...]with the ponies, till Cousin Grace, growing tired of playing her bright eyes first on this, then on th[...]natch the hat from her head, to throw it in front of the ponies and hear them trample it under their hoofs. She had never wanted the scarlet lining of the big, upturned brim; in a dislike to being con[...]he pretended not to notice, and for the remainder of the drive nobody spoke. They went past long lines of grey houses, joined one to another and built exac[...]ast large, fenced-in public parks where all kinds of odd, unfamiliar trees grew, with branches that ra[...]; the wind, coming in puffs, met them with clouds of gritty white dust. |
| [...]ds, their hands at their hats, passed through one of these miniature whirlwinds, when turning a corner[...]d behind them. To Laura, who came from a township of one-storied brick or weatherboard houses, it seem[...]patch on the carpet. It showed up, too, a coating of dust that had gathered on the desk-like, central table. There was the faint, distinctive smell of strange furniture. But what impressed Laura most[...]he massy walls, but neither did the faintest echo of all that might be taking place in the great build[...]herself; and inconsequently remembered a quarter of an hour she had once spent in a dentist's ante-ro[...]to seem as if they might sit on for ever. All of a sudden, from out the spacious halls of which they had caught a glimpse on arrivin[...] |
| [...]Godmother as Mrs. Gurley, the Lady Superintendent of the institution, she drew up a chair, let herself down upon it, and began to converse with an air of ineffable condescension. While she talked Laura[...]st for detail. Mrs. Gurley was large and generous of form, and she carried her head in such a haughty[...]a black apron with white flowers on it, one point of which was pinned to her ample bosom. The fact tha[...]was being said. Awful, too, was the habit she had of suddenly lowering her head and looking at you over the tops of her glasses: when she did this, and when her teet[...]r lip, you would have liked to shrink to the size of a mouse. Godmother, it was true, was not afraid of her; but Cousin Grace was hushed at last and as f[...]ink she's very nice,” said Laura staunchly, out of an instinct that made her chary of showing fear, or pain, or grief. But her h[...] |
| [...]the tease had just begun afresh, when the opening of the door forced her to swallow her sentence in th[...]Mrs. Gurley smiled the chilliest thinkable smile of acknowledgment, and did not reply a word. She e[...]for them to pass out. Then, however, her pretence of affability faded clean away: turning her head jus[...]were shining, and began to ascend another flight of stairs, which was the widest Laura had ever seen. The banisters were as thick as your arm, and on each side of the stair-carpeting the space was broad enough for two to walk abreast: what a splendid game of trains you could have played there! On the other[...]so high up that only a giant could have seen out of them. These things occurred to Laura mechanical[...]t once, to get nearer to the portly back in front of her. |
| [...]the admiration, thus subtly expressed in the form of surprise, would flatter Mrs. Gurley, as a kind of co-proprietor; but it was evident that it did nothing of the sort: the latter seemed to have gone deaf and[...]he top floor she led the way to a room at the end of a long passage. There were four beds in this room, a washhand — stand, a chest of drawers, and a wall cupboard. But at first sight[...]ly for the familiar object that stood at the foot of one of the beds. “Oh, there's my box!” she cried,[...]the stern face seemed to relax. At the mere hint of this, Laura grew warm through and through; and as[...]ped her work, and, resting her hands on the sides of the box, gave Laura one of the dreaded looks over her glasses, looked at her[...]ee her. There was a pause, a momentary suspension of the breath, which Laura soon learned to expect be[...]ls,” said Mrs. Gurley — and even in the midst of her confusion Laura could not but be struck by the pronunciation of this word.“Little gels — are required — to[...]t scarlet: if there was one thing she, Mother all of them prided themselves on, it was the good manner[...]hen, however, something happened which held a ray of hope. “Why, what is this?” asked Mrs. Gurley freezingly, and held up to view — with the tips of her fingers, Laura thought — a small, bl[...] |
| ofof the kind,” she retorted.“I myself, am an Episcopalian, and I expect those gels, who belong to the Church of England, to attend it, with me.” The unpacki[...]moothed down her apron, and was just on the point of turning away, when on the bed opposite Laura's sh[...]the counterpane. At this blot on the orderliness of the room she seemed to swell like a turkey-cock,[...]pened and a girl came in, high-coloured and scant of breath. Laura darted one glance at Mrs. Gurley's face, then looked away and studied the pattern of a quilt, trying not to hear what was said. Her th[...]h sandy eyebrows, a turned-up nose, a thick plait of red-gold hair, and a figure so fully developed th[...]ugh the floor. Her lashes were lowered, in a kind of dog-like submission, and her face had gone very r[...]aura was deeply hurt: she had gazed at Lilith out of the purest sympathy. And now, as she stood waitin[...]who seemed to have forgotten her, the strangeness of things, and the general unfriendliness of the people struck home with full force. The late[...]strange noises, a strange white dust, the expanse of a big, strange city. She felt |
| unspeakably far away now, from the small, snug domain of home. Here, nobody wanted her . . . she was alone[...]she had already, without meaning it, offended two of them. Another second, and the shameful tears mi[...]heir way out. But at this moment there was a kind of preparatory boom in the distance, and the next, a[...]dus from the rooms round about; there was a sound of voices and of feet. Mrs. Gurley ceased to give orders in the pa[...]y paused and smoothed her already faultless bands of hair; then turned the handle and opened th[...] |
| [...]s turned as if by clockwork, and fifty-five pairs of eyes were levelled at the small girl in the white apron who meekly followed Mrs. Gurley down the length of the dining-room. Laura crimsoned under the unexpe[...], and tried to fix her attention on the flouncing of Mrs. Gurley's dress. The room seemed hundreds of feet long, and not a single person at the tea-tables but took stock of her. The girls made no scruple of leaning backwards and forwards, behind and before[...]fty-five had drawn in their chairs with the noise of a cavalry brigade on charge. She stood up again i[...]our tables, with a governess at the head and foot of each to pour out tea. It was more of a hall than a room and had high, church-like windows down one side. At both ends were scores of pigeon-holes. There was a piano in it and a fireplace; it had pale blue walls, and only strips of carpet on the floor. At present it was darkish, f[...]ing, she found her neighbour offering her a plate of bread. “No, thank you,” she said impulsivel[...]no. Humbly she accepted the butter and the cup of tea which were passed to her in turn, and as humbly ate the piece of rather stale bread. She felt forlornly miserable under the fire of all these unkind eyes, which took a deligh[...] |
| [...]rry to leave the hall, and no one took any notice of her except to stare. After some indecision, she f[...]he found herself on a verandah facing the grounds of the school. There was a long bench, on which seve[...]e sitting: she took a modest seat at one end. Two of the younger governesses looked at her and laughed[...]oom-mate, Lilith Gordon, arm in arm with a couple of companions. The winker of the tea- table turned out to be a girl of her own age, but of a broader make; she had fat legs, which were enca[...]re up came two rather rollicking older girls, one of whom was fair, with a red complexion. AS soon as[...]voices had driven the governess away, the smaller of the two, who had a pronounced squint, turned to L[...]tlessly replied. She was dumbfounded by the storm of merriment that followed. Maria Morell, the[...] |
| [...]“Where do you come from?” the squint demanded of Laura, in a business-like way. Laura named the[...]ead?” “A barrister.” “What did he die of?” “Consumption.” “How many servants d[...]a friend, ran to her, and there was a great deal of whispering and sniggering. Presently the pair cam[...]oud and fussy manner, about certain acquaintances of hers called Tweedledum and Tweedledee. Both the f[...]ur father?” she turned on her, with the courage of despair. “What's yours?” she retorted hotly[...]t saviour, promenading the grounds like any other of the fifty-five. She assumed, as well as she could, an air of feeling at her ease even in |
| the presence of the cold and curious looks that met her. The fat[...]ack her head and laughed anew, at the remembrance of Laura's patronymics; or that she still exchanged[...]a made her way back to the dining-hall. Here some of the very young boarders were preparing their less[...]hreaded her way to the more authoritative-looking of the governesses in charge, and proffered her requ[...], thick nose which made her profile resemble that of a horse.“Can't you twiddle your thumbs for a bi[...]rhood laughed noiselessly, in a bounden-duty kind of way, at their superior's pleasantry, and Laura, f[...]e toying with a long gold chain, after the manner of the Lady Superintendent. “Didn't Mrs.[...] |
| [...]way, her books left lying on a chair. But instead of picking them up, she threw herself on her bed and[...]in the pillow. She did not dare to cry, for fear of making her eyes red, but she hugged the cool line[...]f.“Oh, how I hate them!” — and wild schemes of vengeance flashed through her young mind. She did[...]poison or the knife: a big cake, sent by Mother, of which she invited all alike to partake, and into[...]d only just time to spring to her feet before one of the little girls appeared at the door. “You'[...]nd all the little girls laughed, after the manner of their elders. Before Laura had finished arrang[...]gs on the shelves that were assigned to her, some of the older girls began to drop in from the study.[...]see what the kid's got.” Now Laura was proud of her collection: it really made a great show; for a daughter of Godmother's had once attended the College, and he[...]erever did you learn Latin?” In the reediest of voices Laura was forced to confess that sh[...] |
| norm, from the traditional method of purchasing each book new and as it was needed, hi[...]tion. But Miss Zielinski, who lost no opportunity of making herself agreeable to those over her, said[...]aura was summoned and made to sit down at the end of the room, close to the governesses and beside the very big girls — girls of eighteen and nineteen, who seemed older still to[...]elt that they resented her proximity. The biggest of all, a pleasant-faced girl with a kind smile, sai[...]se to their feet and sang, with halting emphasis, of the Redeemer and His mercy, to Miss Chapman's acc[...]he right. “Let us read in the third chapter of the Second Epistle of Paul to the |
| [...]dy gentleman read to a continual nervous movement of the left leg. “Let us pray.” Obeying the[...]ayer, and a long one, and Laura did not hear much of it; for the two big girls on her right kept up th[...]s, and left the room. This was the signal for two of the teachers to advance with open Bibles. “He[...]Laura's pleasant neighbour. Laura knew nothing of it; but the big girl lent her a Bible, and, since[...]ery girl repeated it, it was quickly learned. I wisdom dwell with prudence and find out knowledge of witty inventions. Told off in batches, t[...] |
| [...]she scolds you and I think Miss Chapman is afraid of her to. Miss Day is not afraid of anybody. I am in the first class. I am in the Col[...]nd butter and water if we don't have cake and jam of our own. Please send me some strawberry jam and a[...]the girls call her that. You WOULD be frightened of her. In the afternoon after school we walk two |
| [...]hey will meet them up behind a tree in the corner of the garden a paling is lose and the boys put lett[...]sister Laura. P.S. I took the red lineing out of my hat. Warrenega Sunday. My dear Laura[...]Godmother was good enough to write us an account of your arrival so that we were not quite without news of you. I hope you remembered to thank her for drivi[...]et you and take you to school which was very good of her. I am glad to hear you are settling down and[...]d and distinguish yourself so that I may be proud of you. But there are several things in your letters[...]insisted on her showing it to me and I am ashamed of you for writing such nonsense to her. Maria Morel[...]ain to Mrs. Gurley or Mr. Strachey about the tone of the College and what goes on behind their backs. I think it is very rude of you too to call Mrs. Gurley names. Also ab[...] |
| [...]de. There is evidently a very bad tone among some of the girls and you must be careful in choosing you[...]uscles are quite strong enough to bear the weight of your back. Bread and water is not much of a supper for you to go to bed on. I will send you[...]you are not going to be led away by the examples of bad girls. I have always brought you children up[...]tters I think you are sily to I shood be fritened of Mrs. Girly I dont want to go to Skool I wo[...] |
| [...]e other girls say it and I think it is very wrong of them. Please dont write to Mrs. Gurley I will try[...]e you will keep your promise and not do it again. Of course I dont mean that you are not to tell me ev[...]long as I see that you are being a good girl and getting on well with your lessons. I do want you to remem[...]very nice for dinner for tea we have to eat a lot of bread and butter I dont care for bread muc[...] |
| together. A lot of girls get up at six and go down to practice they[...]bath they just put on their dressing gowns on top of their night gowns. I dont go down now till[...] |
| [...]ling pack that threw off coverlets and jumped out of bed, to tie on petticoats and snuggle into dressing-gowns and shawls; for the first approach of cooler weather was keenly felt, after the summer[...]peedily chilblained fingers, in making her rounds of the verandahs to see that each of the twenty pianos was rightly occupied; and, as w[...]hief outward sign an occasional thin white spread of frost which vanished before the mighty sun of ten o'clock, she sometimes took the occupancy for[...]meal it was Mrs. Gurley's custom to drink a glass of hot water. While she sipped, she gave audience, m[...]m — standing erect behind her chair at the head of the table, supported by one or more of the staff. To suit the season she was draped in a shawl of crimson wool, which reached to the flounce of her skirt, and was borne by her portly shoulders with the grace of a past day. Beneath the shawl, her dresses were b[...]oportions, and always short enough to show a pair of surprisingly small, well-shod feet. Thus she stoo[...]unless one was very firm indeed in the conviction of one's own innocence, to be beneath this eye was apt to induce a disagreeable sense of guilt. In the case of Mrs. Gurley, familiarity had never been known to breed contempt. She was possessed of what was little short of genius, for ruling through fear; and no more fitting overseer could have been set at the head of these half-hundred girls, of all ages and degrees: gentle and common; ruly and unruly, children hardly out of the nursery, and girls well over the brink of womanhood, whose ripe, bursting forms told their own tale; the daughters of poor ministers at reduced fees; and the spoilt heiresses of wealthy wool- brokers and squatters, whose dowries would mount to many thousands of pounds. — Mrs. Gurley was equal to them all. |
| [...]here was no more persistent shrinker from the ice of this gaze than little Laura. In the presence of Mrs. Gurley the child had a difficulty in getting her breath. Her first week of school life had been one unbroken succession of snubs and reprimands. For this, the undue familiarity of her manner was to blame: she was all too slow to grasp — being ofof her mouth, she saw that she had made a terrible m[...]g, miss, for you to do, will be, to take a course of lessons, in manners. Your present ones, may have[...]belonged. They will not do, here, in the company of your betters.” Above the child's head the two[...]that, after this, there would be no further want of respect; but Laura did not see them. The iron of the thrust went deep down into her soul: no one h[...]to wash them white. Since that day, she had never of her own free will approached Mrs. Gurley again, a[...]later, on discovering that she had forgotten one of her lesson- books, she hesitated long befo[...] |
| [...]ok and hurried from the room. But the thoughts of the group had been drawn to her. “The greate[...]eed Miss Zielinski. “I don't know what sort of a place she comes from, I'm sure,” continued the former:“but it must be the end of creation. She's utterly no idea of what's what, and as for her clothes they're fit f[...]g either — stupid, I call her,” chimed in one of the younger governesses, whose name was Miss Snod[...]eth's reign — when she didn't know a single one of the dates!” “She can say some poetry,” s[...]g in my time. We were made to learn what would be of some use and help to us afterwards.” Elderly[...]ue. Laura tried her utmost, with an industry born of despair. For the comforting assurance of speedy promotion, which she had given Mother, had[...]f in her own knowledge. How slender this was, and of how little use to her in her new state, she did n[...]gone to be examined in arithmetic, flung up hands of comical dismay at her befogged attempts to solve the mysteries of long division. An upper class was taking a[...] |
| [...]quely expressive mouth, which displayed every one of a splendid set of teeth. He had small, short-sighted, red-rimmed ey[...]went on curling, closely cropped, down the sides of his face. He taught at the top of his voice, thumped the blackboard with a pointer, was biting at the expense of a pupil who confused the angle BFC with the angle[...]witched Laura; she forgot her sums in the delight of watching him; and this made her learning seem a l[...]us, and hesitated discreetly before returning one of those ingenuous answers which, in the beginning, had made her the merry- andrew of the class. She could for instance, read a French[...]ry many words; but she had never heard a syllable of the language spoken, and her first attempts at pr[...]and his silly courtiers — and she also had out-of-the-way scraps of information about the characters of some of the monarchs, or, as the governess had complained, about the state of London at a certain period; but she had never tro[...]mpanied, not only by the kings who were the cause of them, but by dull laws, and their duller repeals.[...]ce to pieces to see how it was made. She was fond of words, too, for their own sake, and once,[...] |
| [...]phy, the pupils were required to copy the outline of the map of England. Laura, about to begin, found to her dism[...]ad lost her pencil. To confess the loss meant one of the hard, public rebukes from which she shrank. A[...]aura for a moment, then pushed the lid from a box of long, beautifully sharpened drawing-pencils.“Here, you can have one of these.” Laura eyed the well-filled box[...] |
| [...]s- your-name, come up to the map.” A huge map of England had been slung over an easel; Laura was r[...]the class straggled along the verandah at the end of the hour, Inez came up to Laura's side. “I sa[...]at she had again, without knowing it, been guilty of a faux pas. Inez looked round to see that Berth[...]aped incredulous at the girl, her young eyes full of horror. From actual experience, she hardly knew w[...]hitherto associated it only with the lowest class of Irish agricultural labourer, or with those dreadf[...]ho drank was unthinkable . . . outside the bounds of nature. “Oh, how awful!” she gasped,[...] |
| [...]comes! Don't say a word. Bertha's awfully ashamed of it,” said Inez, and Laura had just time to give[...]ng about?” cried Bertha, and dealt out a couple of her rough and friendly punches. —“I say, who'[...]ee, with flying plaits and curls, much kicking-up of long black legs, and a frank display of frills and tuckers. Laura won; for Inez's wind gave out half way, and Bertha was heavy of foot. Leaning against the palings Laura watched t[...]ertha with the shameful secret in the background, of a mother who was not like other mothers. |
| of the few girls who had nowhere to go; she had been[...]ing-hall, it was not possible to hear the ringing of the front- door bell; but each time either of the maids entered with a summons, Laura half rose[...]n ten, then half-past; it struck eleven, the best of the day was passing, and still Marina did not com[...]aura alone was left: she had to bear the disgrace ofof tearing off her hat and jacket and declaring that[...]rina, a short, sleek-haired, soberly dressed girl of about twenty, had Godmother's brisk, matter-of-fact manner. She offered Laura her cheek to kis[...]rge. Round them stretched the broad white streets of East Melbourne; at their side was the thick, exotic greenery of the Fitzroy Gardens; on the brow of the hill rose the massive proportions of the Roman Catholic Cathedral. — Laura co[...] |
| [...]wever, as to how she liked school and how she was getting on with her lessons, Marina fell to contemplating a strip of paper that she held in her hand. Laura gathered that her companion had combined the task of calling for her with a morning's shopping, and that she had only worked half through her list of commissions before arriving at the College. At the next corner they got on to the outside car of a cable- tramway, and were carried into town. Her[...]er's housekeeper, and had an incredible knowledge of groceries, as well as a severely practical mind:[...]er-nail into butter, tasted cheeses off the blade of a knife, ran her hands through currants, nibbled biscuits, discussed brands of burgundy and desiccated soups — Laura meanwhile[...]about to turn away when she recollected an affair of some empty cases, which she wished to send back.[...]to the street again a full hour had gone by. “Getting hungry?” she inquired of Laura. “A little. But I can wait,” answered[...]s faint with hunger. “We'll be home in plenty of time,” said Marina, consulting a neat watch.“Dinner's not till three today, because of father.” Again a tramway jerked them forward.[...]Godmother was equally optimistic. From the sofa of the morning-room, where she sat knitting,[...] |
| [...]at the stocking she held, but always over the top of it. Here, however, the dinner-bell rang, and Laura, spared the task of giving more superfluous information, followed the two ladies to the dining-room. The other members of the family were waiting at the table. Godmother's[...]if they had to communicate, it was done by means of a third person. There was the elder daughter, Geo[...]a, the eldest son, a bank-clerk who was something of a dandy and did not waste civility on little girl[...]ed, pugnacious little creatures, who stood in awe of their father, and were all the wilder when not un[...]the bank-clerk complained in extreme displeasure of the way the laundress had of late dressed his collars — these were so high t[...]otice, he had to look straight down the two sides of his nose to see his plate — and announce[...] |
| [...]hold your tongue, mother!” “I'll do nothing of the sort.” “Crikey!” said the younger boy[...]t go driving without the boys, and that's the end of it.” Like dogs barking at one another, thought Laura, listening to the loveless bandying of words — she was unused to the snappishness of the Irish manner, which sounds so much worse than[...]na's afternoon would be spent between the shelves of her storeroom, preparing for the incoming goods,[...]t the two boys, mercilessly alert for any display of fondness on the part of the lovers; sat Laura, with her straight, inquisi[...]r reached, the mare was hitched up and the ascent of the light wooden erection began. It was a blowy d[...]Georgy's bidding, went next. She clasped her bits of skirts anxiously to her knees, for she was just a[...]that lay beneath being seen by Georgy, as by any of the male members of the party. Georgy came last, and, though no one w[...]xed hot, and was rapidly taking on the dimensions of a quarrel, when the piebald mare shied at[...] |
| [...]d from side to side and there seemed a likelihood of it capsizing, the two boys squirmed with laughter, and dealt out sundry nudges, kicks and pokes, all of which were received by Laura, sitting between the[...]ould believe George was afraid; there was no sign of it in Georgy's manner; she sat stolid and unmoved[...]st grown up”, she yet detested the conversation of“real grown-ups” with a child's heartiness. Sh[...]a bookless house — like most Australian houses of its kind: in Marina's bedroom alone stood a small[...]ool and Sunday school prizes. Laura was very fond of reading, and as she dressed that morning had cast[...]e key, but only after some haggling, for her idea of books was to keep the gilt on their covers untarn[...]id ungraciously. She drew out The Giant Cities of Bashan and Syria's Holy Places, and with this Lau[...]a and Georgy stationed like sentinels at the ends of the pew, ready to pounce down on their brothers i[...]ee neither reading-desk nor pulpit; and the words of the sermon seemed to come from a great way[...] |
| [...]elder person being present, the natural feelings of the trio came out: the distaste of a quiet little girl for rough boys and their pranks; the resentful indignation of the boys at having their steps dogged by a sneak[...]s they had rounded the tennis- court and were out of sight of the house, Erwin and Marmaduke clambered over the[...]oors without them. The child sat down on the edge of the lawn under a mulberry tree and propped her ch[...]e house and brave things out; she was also afraid of some one coming into the garden and finding her alone, and of her then being forced to“tell”; for most of all she feared the boys, and their vague, rude th[...]eyes; distant chapel- bells tinkled their quarter of an hour and were still again; the blighting torpor of a Sunday afternoon lay over the world. Would to-m[...]back to school — counted twice over to be sure of them — and all but yawned her head off, with en[...]assed, and nothing happened. She was on the verge of tears, when two black heads bobbed up above the f[...]to start, and it struck half-past nine as the two of them neared the College. Child- like, Laura felt no special gratitude for the heavy pot of mulberry jam Marina bore on her arm; but at sight of the stern, grey, stone building she could have da[...]door swinging to behind her, she drew a deep sigh of relief. |
| [...]'s pleasant smile saluted her — Laura's opinion of life at school suffered a change. She was glad to[...]an adventurous sheep is glad to regain the cover of the flock. Learning might be hard; the governesses mercilessly secure in their own wisdom; but here she was at least a person of some consequence, instead of as at Godmother's a mere negligible null. Of her unlucky essay at holiday-making she wrote hom[...]again in the meantime. But there was such a lack of warmth in her account of the visit that mother made this, together with th[...]ll. And I hope when you grow up you'll be as much of a help to me as Marina is to her mother. I'd much[...]od and useful than clever and I think for a child of your age you see things with very sharp unkind ey[...]spying out their faults. Then you'll have plenty of friends and be liked wherever you go.” Laura[...]nt about the goodness and cleverness with a grain of salt: she knew better. Mother thought it the prop[...]nds; and, wounded in these, she was quite capable of writing post-haste to Mrs. Gurley or Mr. Strachey, complaining of their want of insight, and bringing forward a string of embarrassing proofs. So, leaving Mother to her pleasing illusions, Laura settled down again to her role of dunce, now, though, with more equanimity than bef[...]ng it to a head. About this time, too, a couple of pieces of good fortune came her way. The first: she was p[...]e friendship between Inez and Bertha — a favour of which she availed herself eagerly, though[...] |
| Bertha was a good-natured romp, hard-fisted, thick of leg, and of a plodding but ineffectual industry. Inez, on the other hand, was so pretty that Laura never tired of looking at her: she had a pale skin, hazel eyes,[...]for tolerating her that she never took up a stand of real equality with them: proud and sensitive, she[...]their company made things easier for her: neither of them aimed high; and both were well content with[...]confusion, unequal to discovering what was wanted of her, grew comforted by the presence and support of her friends, and unmindful of higher opinion; and Miss Chapman, in supervising[...]ra was growing perky and lazy. Her second piece of good luck was of quite a different nature. Miss Hicks, the visit[...], inexact, interested only in the personal aspect of a thing. You can't concentrate your thoughts, and, worst of all, you've no curiosity — about anything that really matters. You take all the great facts of existence on trust — just as a hen does — and I've no doubt you'll go on contentedly till the end of your days, without ever knowing why the ocean has[...]t a compliment, as proving that she was incapable of a vulgar inquisitiveness. But Laura, thoug[...] |
| not forget the incident — words in any case had a way of sticking to her memory — and what Miss Hicks ha[...]to her, in the days that followed. And then, all of a sudden, just as if an invisible hand had opened[...]subject, to make it her own in every detail. Bits of it, picturesque scraps, striking features — wha[...]t any rate, it had crumbled to pieces like a lump of earth, under the hard, heavy hand of Miss Hicks. Laura felt humiliated, and could not[...]want to have a woman's brain, thank you; not one of that sort; and she smarted for the whole class.[...]ow the strait road. At first with some stumbling, of course, and frequent backslidings. Intellectual c[...]self napping. Thus though she speedily became one of the most troublesome askers-why, her desire for i[...]et to listen to the answer. Besides, for the life of her she could not drum up more interest in, say, the course of the Gulf Stream, or the formation of a plateau, than in the fact that, when Nelly Bristow spoke, little bubbles came out of her mouth, and that she needed to swallow twice a[...]at when Miss Hicks grew angry her voice had a way of failing, at the crucial moment, and flattening ou[...]as indeed difficult for Laura to invert the value of these things. — In another direction she did better. By dint of close attention, of pondering both the questions asked by Miss Hicks,[...]true knowledge lay. It was facts that were wanted of her; facts that were the real test of learning; facts she was expected to know. Stories, pictures of things, would |
| [...]se in the world to her to have seen the snowy top of Mount Kosciusko stand out against a dark blue eve[...]ntain was 7308 and not 7309 feet high: that piece of information was valuable, was of genuine use to you; for it was worth your place i[...]ool ideal, thus force herself to drive hard nails of fact into her vagrant thoughts. And with success.[...]gave this talent full play, memorising even pages of the history book in her zeal; and before many wee[...]e was separated from Inez and Bertha by the width of the class. But neither her taste of friendship and its comforts, nor the abrupt chang[...]unes, could counterbalance Laura's luckless knack of putting her foot in it. This she continued to do, in season and out of season. And not with the authorities alone. The[...]stance, that unfortunate evening when she was one of the batch of girls invited to Mrs. Strachey's drawingroom. Laura, ignorant of what it meant to be blasée, had received her note of invitation with a thrill, had even enjoyed writing, in her best hand, the prescribed formula of acceptance. But she was alone in this; by the majority of her companions these weekly parties were frankly[...]ing that every guest was expected to take a piece of music with her. Even the totally unfit had to sho[...]tter a second thought: hastily selecting a volume of music, she followed the rest of the white dresses into the passage. The senior gi[...]s stocking-soles. He had also a most arrogant way of looking down his nose, and of tugging, intolerantly, at his long, drooping mous[...]eed for him to assume the frigid contemptuousness of Mrs. Gurley's manner: his mere presence, the very unseeingness of his gaze, inspired awe. Tales ran of his wrath, were it roused; but few had experienced it. He quelled the high spirits of these young colonials by his dignified air of detachment. |
| [...]ffable and smiling, endeavouring to put a handful of awkward girls at their ease. But neither his nor[...]pal. To them, his amiability resembled the antics of an uncertain-tempered elephant, with which you co[...]esides on this occasion it was a young batch, and of particularly mixed stations. And so a dozen girls[...]ve to fifteen years old, sat on the extreme edges of their chairs, and replied to what was said to them, with dry throats. Though the youngest of the party, Laura was the least embarrassed: she h[...]th her elders since her babyhood. And she was not of a shy disposition; indeed, she still had to be reminded daily that shyness was expected of her. So she sat and looked about her. It was an i[...]these ornaments, or to handle the books, instead of having to pick up a title here and there by chanc[...]file, with a long hooked nose, and wearing a kind of peaked cap. But that was not all: behind this head were other profiles of the same face, and seeming to come out of clouds. Laura stared hard, but could make nothing of it. — And meanwhile her companions were rising[...]stiff fingers they stumbled through the movement of a sonata or sonatina. It was Lilith Gordon who[...]ompany oneself?” she said kindly.“Perhaps one of the others would play for you?” No one moved. “Do any of you know the song?” Two or three ungraciously[...]d play it,” she said; and coloured at the sound of her own voice. Mrs. Strachey looked doub[...] |
| of the unmusical. Laura rose and went to the piano[...]g enough to cover the octave. She took the volume of Thalberg she had brought with her, selected“Hom[...]r, she would have grasped that it was the silence of amazement. After the prim sonatinas that had gone[...]e crashed and banged with all the strength a pair of twelve-year-old arms could put into them; and wro[...]ll marked, and there was no mistaking the agility of the small fingers. Dead silence, too, greeted the conclusion of the piece Several girls were very red, from tryin[...]A girl emitted a faint squeak. But a half turn of Mrs. Strachey's head subdued her.“Oh, I hope yo[...]o him and said, with what she believed to be ease of manner:“Mr. Strachey, will you please te[...] |
| [...]tion:“that is the portrait, by a great painter, of a great poet — Dante Alighieri.” “Oh, Da[...]owily — she had once heard the name.“Oh, yes, of course, I know now. He wrote a book, didn't he, c[...]evening passed, and she was in blessed ignorance of anything being amiss, till the next morning after breakfast she was bidden to Mrs. Gurley. A quarter of an hour later, on her emerging from that lady's p[...]mere swollen slits in her face. Instead, however, of sponging them in cold water and bravely joining h[...]liated her. Laura learnt that she had been guilty of a gross impertinence, in profaning the ears of the Principal and Mrs. Strachey with Thalberg's m[...]ad been so unpleasantly impressed by the boldness of her behaviour, that she would not be invited to the drawing-room again for some time to come. The matter of the music touched Laura little: if they preferred[...]little newcomer: for she had been pluming herself of late that she was now“quite the thing”. And yet, painful as was this fresh overthrow of her pride, it was neither the worst nor the most lasting result of the incident. That concerned her schoolfellows. By the following morning the tale of her doings was known to everyone. It was circulat[...]feeling was generally shared. It evidenced a want of good- |
| [...]s that others had not you concealed them, instead of parading them under people's noses. In short, Laura had committed a twofold breach of school etiquette. No one of course vouchsafed to explain this to her;[...] |
| [...]pupil, with a parrot-like memory, and at the end of the school year delighted Mother's heart with a couple of highly gilt volumes, of negligible contents. At home, during those fir[...]s cold creeps down their spines, with her stories of the great doings that took place at school; and none of her class-mates would have recognised in this arrant drawer-of-the-long-bow, the unlucky little blunderbuss of the early days. On her return, Laura's circle of friends was enlarged. The morning after her arriv[...]kward before the fireplace. This was the daughter of a millionaire squatter named Macnamara; and the report of her father's wealth had preceded her. Yet here she now had to hang about, alone, unhappy, the target of all eyes. It might be supposed that Laura would f[...]at this girl, older than she by about a year, and of a higher social standing, should have to endure a like ordeal. Staring heartlessly, she accentuated her part of old girl knowing all the ropes, and was so inclin[...]and she never wore an apron to protect the front of her frock. Naturally, too, she had a bottomless supply of pocket-money: if a subscription were raised, she[...]ult task to move gracefully among companions none of whom knew what it meant to be really poor.[...] |
| [...]how paltry her allowance was. But the question of money was, after all, trifling, compared with the infinitely more important one of dress. With regard to dress, Laura's troubles were manifold. It was not only that here, too, by reason of Mother's straitened means, she was forced to rema[...]e was indifferent to finery. Had she had a couple of new frocks a year, in which she could have been n[...]ble one from another. For they were the daughters of an imaginative mother, and, balked in other outle[...]had suffered under a home-made, picturesque style of dress; and she had resented, with a violence even Mother did not gauge, this use of her young body as a peg on which to hang fantasti[...]Pin still groaned; but there remained the matter of colour for Mother to sin against, and in this she[...]thing, she was not given to consulting the wishes of little people. Those were awful times when she went, say, to Melbourne, and bought as a bargain a whole roll of cloth of an impossible colour, which had to be utilised to[...]aisley shawl, a puce ball-dress, even an old pair of green rep curtains. It was thus a heavy blow to[...]horred. But the colour! Her heart fell to the pit of her stomach the moment she set eyes on it, and on[...]her tears. — Mother had chosen a vivid purple, of a crude, old- fashioned shade. Now, quite apart[...], the views held by her companions on the subject of colour. No matter how sumptuous or how simple the material of which the dress was made, it must be dark, or of a delicate tint. Brilliancy was a sign of vulgarity, and put the wearer outside the[...] |
| [...]ows in all vital matters, the unpropitious advent of the purple threatened to undo her. After her first dismayed inspection, she retreated to the bottom ofof you, Pin, perfectly piggish! You might have watch[...]“I did, Laura!” asseverated Pin, on the brink of tears.“There was a nice dark brown and I said t[...]s dress hung for weeks in the most private corner of Laura's school wardrobe. Her companions had all r[...]assemblage for church there was a great mustering of one another, both by girls and teachers. Laura wa[...]rt was sore with bitterness, and when the handful of Episcopalians were marching to St Stephen's-on- t[...]dress hasn't come,” she said gratuitously, out of this hurt, with an oblique glance to see how her[...]s doing his best not to blush on passing the line of girls. —“I say, do look at that toff making e[...]l subsequent Sundays, Laura fingered, in an agony of indecision, the pleasing stuff of the dress, and ruefully considered its modish cut. Once, no one being present, she even took it out of the wardrobe. But the merciless spring sunshine seemed to make the purple shoot fire, to let loose a host of other colours it in as well, and, with a shudder,[...]hot letter from Mother. Godmother had complained of her looking“dowdy”, and Mother was exceedingl[...]l at Prahran, and in her new dress, under penalty of a correspondence with Mrs. Gurley. There w[...] |
| an order of this kind, and with death at her heart Laura prep[...]cloak over her shoulders. But her arms peeped out of the loose sleeves, and at least a foot of skirt was visible. As she walked along the corrid[...]ted by it; and every passer-by was a fresh object of dread: Laura waited, her heart a-thump, for the moment when he should raise his eyes and, with a start of attention, become aware of the screaming colour. At Godmother's all the face[...],“What a guy!” when she thought Laura was out of earshot; but the boys stated their opinion openly[...]ight against it. “Got anything new in the way of clothes?” asked Lilith Gordon as she and[...] |
| [...]— and her mother gave it to me as a remembrance of her — but I didn't care for it.” “I shoul[...]thes? What a rummy thing to do!” She went out of the room — no doubt to spread this piece of gossip further. Laura looked daggers after her. S[...]if she were, well, it made matters worse instead of better: people would conclude that she lived on c[...]They were a stock property, borrowed on the spur of the moment from readings in The Family Herald, fr[...]ld she not have said Sarah, the servant, the maid-of-all-work? Then Miss Day would have had no chance[...]ra, could have believed herself believed, instead of having to fret over her own stupidity. — But wh[...]e more than anything to know was, why the mending of the stockings at home should not be Sarah'[...] |
| [...]sted. Yet, in the months that followed the affair of the purple dress, Laura grew more intimate with t[...]done with tact, and with a certain assumed warmth of manner, anyone could make a cat's-paw of her. That Lilith and she undressed for bed toge[...]fat and thin arms wielded the brush, was the time of all others for confidences. The governess who occ[...]wo had their clothes off. It was in the course of one of these confidential chats that Laura did a very foolish thing. In a moment of weakness, she gratuitously gave away the secret that Mother supported her family by the work of her hands. The two girls were sitting on the side of Lilith's bed. Laura had a day of mishaps behind her — that partly, no dou[...] |
| [...]an do anything. She makes the patterns up all out of her own head.” — And filled with pride in Mother's accomplishments and Lilith's appreciation of them, Laura fell asleep that night without a qualm. It was the next evening. Several of the boarders who had finished preparing their les[...]but very saucy; for she lived at Toorak, and came of one of the best families in Melbourne. She was not as ol[...]s already feared and respected for the fine scorn of her opinions. Lilith Gordon had bragged:“My u[...]old watch and chain when I pass matric.” Lucy of Toorak laughed: her nose came down, and her mouth[...]ne.” “Sure he can afford to buy it?” “Of course he can.” “What is he?” Lilith wa[...]hesitate, ever so slightly.“Oh, he's got plenty of money,” she asserted. “She doesn't like to[...]uncle keeps a newspaper!” There was a burst of laughter from those standing round. Lilith was scarlet now.“It's nothing to be ashamed of,” she said angrily. But Lucy of Toorak could not recover from her amusement.“An[...]eps a newspaper! A newspaper! Well, I'm glad none of my uncles are so rummy. — I say, does he leave[...]well pleased to see another than herself the butt of young Lucy's wit. But at this stage of her existence she was too intent on currying favo[...]ous mirth Lilith's admission and Lucy's reception of it excited, and flung her gibes with the rest. |
| [...]day, and had quite forgotten her silly confidence of the night before. Now, the jeer that was on the tip of her tongue hung fire. She could not all at once o[...]ted, socially, by even the most exclusive, as one of themselves; and this, in spite of her niggardly allowance, her ridiculous clothes.[...]traditions were not so easily subdued. Just some of the wealthiest, too, were aware that their antece[...]ee professions alone were sacrosanct. The calling of architect, for example, or of civil engineer, was, if a fortune had not been ac[...]e on their money! But the additional circumstance of Mother being a woman made things ten times worse:[...]would be a pariah indeed — went in hourly dread of Lilith betraying her. Nothing, however, ha[...] |
| [...]he governesses noticed the change in her. Three of them sat one evening round the fire in Mrs. Gurle[...]dgrass had made the bread into toast — in spite of Miss Chapman's quakings lest Mrs. Gurley should n[...]e engaged, she surreptitiously dropped the crusts of the toast into her handkerchief. “I'd be sorr[...]d the other's neck, and unceremoniously laid hold of her book.“You naughty girl, you're at Ouida aga[...]ll wrong again to-morrow, your head'll be so full of that stuff.” “Yes, it's time to go, girls;[...]ng between six and eight o'clock, fifty-five lots of washing had to be sorted out and arranged in pile[...]lated Miss Snodgrass, and yawned again, in a kind of furious desperation.“I swear I'll marry[...] |
| [...]ntly that her bones cracked; to resume, in a tone of ordinary conversation:“I do wish I knew whether to put a brown wing or a green one in that blessed hat of mine.” Miss Chapman's face straightened out f[...]y dear Miss Chapman, it's at least six months out of date. — Ziely, you're crying!” “I'm not,” said Miss Zielinski weakly, caught in the act of blowing her nose. “How on earth can you cry o[...]now! And it's long past ten.” At the creaking of the front door both juniors rose, gathered their[...]she would, or draped in her great shawl, thoughts of this kind sank to their proper level, and Miss Ch[...]on the dying fire, around her the eerie stillness of the great house, her ambition did not seem wholly out of reach; and, giving rein to her fancy, she could p[...]nd rooms, issuing orders that it was the business of others to fulfil, could even think out a few changes that should be made, were she head of the staff. But the insertion of Mrs. Gurley's key in the lock, the sound of her foot on the oilcloth, was enough to waken a sense of guilt in Miss Chapman, and make her start[...] |
| [...]ht regulate your outward habit to the last button of what you were expected to wear; you might conceal[...]hich were likely to damage your value in the eyes of your companions; you might, in brief, march in th[...]ers, keeping perfect step and time with them: yet of what use were all your pains, if you could not marshal your thoughts and feelings — the very realest part of you — in rank and file as well? . . . if these[...]y Mr. Repton, the visiting-master for this branch of study, was reading aloud, in a sonorous voice, a chapter of Handy Andy. He underlined his points heavily, and[...]ttern disciplinarian; but the general abandonment of attitude had another ground as well. It had to do with the shape of the master's legs. These were the object of an enthusiastic admiration. They were generally a[...]ls were thought lucky who could get the best view of them beneath the desk. Moreover, the rumour ran t[...]t weight to the report — and Class Two was fond of picturing the comely limbs in the tights of a Hamlet or Othello. It also, of course, invented for him a lurid life outside the[...]rs in church every Sunday morning, the embodiment of the virtuous commonplace; and whenever he looked at a pupil, every time he singled one of them out for special notice, he was believ[...] |
| reception of his friendly overtures. — Such was Class Two's youthful contribution to the romance of school life. On this particular day, however, the sudden, short snap of the secretary's announcement that, instead of dispersing at half-past three, the entire school was to reassemble, galvanised the class. Glances of mingled apprehension and excitement flew round; e[...]n left for well-shaped members, or for the antics of Handy Andy under his mother's bed. But when the[...]ection, verandahs and corridors one seething mass of girls, it was the excitement that prevailed. For any break was welcome in the uniformity of the days; and the nervous tension now felt was no[...]om, than was the pleasant trepidation experienced of old by those who went to be present at a hanging. In the course of the past weeks a number of petty thefts had been committed. Day-scholars who left small sums of money in their jacket pockets would find, on retu[...]a time, the losses were borne in silence, because of the reluctance inherent in young girls to making[...]e bolder than the rest, and with a stronger sense of public morality, lodged a complaint. Investigatio[...]there was always an unpunctual minority. A crowd of girls who had not been able to find seats was mas[...]ks to the high windows; they were ranged in order of precedence, topped by Dr Pughson, who stood next[...]desk. All alike wore blank, stern faces. In one of the rows of desks for two — blackened, ink-scored, dusty de[...]nd Tilly, behind them Inez and Bertha. The cheeks of the four were flushed. But, while the others only whispered and wondered, Laura was on the tiptoe of expectation. She could not get her breath properl[...]These few foregoing minutes were the most trying of any. For when, in an ominous hush, Mr. Strachey e[...]sk, Laura suddenly grew calm, and could take note of everything that passed. The Principal ra[...] |
| [...]rs and hid her face in her handkerchief. Hundreds of eyes sought the unhappy culprit as she rose, then[...]that is about to eat it. She was a very ugly girl of fourteen, with a pasty face, and lank hair that d[...]ording to Mr. Strachey this was the motor impulse of the thefts — because a lolly shop had stretched[...]oo, with a shiver, how easy it would be, the loss of the first pennies having remained undiscovered, t[...]thrilled Laura — just as, at the play, the fact of one spectator being moved to tears intensifies hi[...]joyment. — But when Mr. Strachey left the field of personal narration and went on to the moral aspects of the affair, Laura ceased to be gripped by him, and turned anew to study the pale, dogged face of the accused, though she had to crane her n[...] |
| [...]r some seconds, she tried to do what was expected of her: to feel a decent unconcern. At her back, Ber[...]e could not, really could not miss the last scene of all, when, in masterly fashion, the Principal was[...]ul moments drew near, even Bertha was hushed, and of all the odd hundreds of throats not one dared to cough. Laura's heart began to palpitate, for she felt the approach of the final climax, Mr. Strachey's periods growing ever slower and more massive. When, after a burst of eloquence which, the child felt, would not have s[...]l dead by Laertes' sword, to the rousing plaudits of the house. Breathing unevenly, she watched, lynx-eyed, every inch of Annie Johns' progress: watched her pick up her books, edge out of her seat and sidle through the rows of desks; watched her walk to the door with short je[...]gh. It was too late after this for the winding of the snaky line about the streets and parks of East Melbourne, which constituted the boarders' d[...]and tennis-courts, they discussed the main event of the afternoon, and were a little more vociferous than usual, in an attempt to shake off the remembrance of a very unpleasant half-hour. “I bet you Sand[...]must take twelves!” “And that old blubber of a Ziely's handkerchief! It was filthy. I t[...] |
| [...]same class as a pickpocket,” said the daughter of a minister from Brisbane.“I guess he wouldn't h[...]ed, and a girl from the Riverina said: “Oh, no, of course not!” in a tone that made Laura wince an[...]and what her father had said to her. All the rest of them had gone back at once to their everyday life[...]ld happen to her? Would she perhaps be turned out of the house? . . . into the streets? — and Laura had a lively vision of the guilty creature, in rags and tatters, slinkin[...]y a ruthless London policeman (her only knowledge of extreme destitution being derived from the woeful tale of“Little Jo”). — And to think that the beginning of it all had been the want of a trumpery tram-fare. How safe the other girls we[...]low themselves to feel shocked and outraged; none of them knew what it was not to have threepen[...] |
| [...]r, had even managed to extract an unseemly amount of entertainment from it. And that, of course, should not have been. It was partly Mr. S[...]wrinkled her nose in a grimace. The real reason of her pleasurable absorption was, she supposed, tha[...]to understand — that was the long and the short of it: nice- minded girls found such a thing impossi[...]anions had been quick to recognise her difference of attitude, or they would never have dared to accuse her of sympathy with the thief, or to doubt her chorusin[...]he world she had was to range herself on the side of the sinner; she longed to see eye to eye with her[...]perhaps with ideas that were no more unlike those of her schoolfellows than were Laura's own, Annie wa[...]they found words, they would have taken the form of an entreaty that she might be preserved from havi[...]and especially did she see a companion convicted of crime. Below all this, in subconscious depths, a chord of fear seemed to have been struck in her as well — the fear of stony faces, drooped lids, and stretched, pointin[...]ie Johns but she was being expelled; that an army of spear-like first fingers was marching towa[...] |
| [...]this time — Laura was a thin, middle-sized girl of thirteen, who still did not look her age. The cur[...]hoice with a red ribbon. Tilly was the only one of her intimates who skipped a class with her; hence[...]ly, in the others' hearing, over the difficulties of the little blue books that began: Gallia est omni[...]inclined to stand on their dignity with the pair of interlopers from Class Two. They were all older t[...]ra, and thought themselves wiser: here were girls of sixteen and seventeen years of age, some of whom would progress no farther along the high-road of education. As for the boarders who sat in this fo[...]e, the girls conned their pages with a great show of industry. But no sooner had she sailed away than[...]called to Maria Morell, who was at the other end of the seat:“I say, Maria, Genesis LI, 32.” —[...]y won't savvy.” But Laura's eyes were saucers of curiosity, for Tilly, who kept her long lashes lo[...]and Tilly followed in their wake, at the clanging of the public prayer-bell. “You soft, did[...] |
| “Of course I did” — and Laura repeated the reference. “Let's look it up then.” Under cover of the prayer Tilly sought it out, and together they[...]Only a day or two later it was she who, in face of Kate and Maria, invited Tilly to turn up chapter[...]n she. The girls were thrown thus upon the Book of Books for their contraband knowledge, since it was the only frankly outspoken piece of literature allowed within the College walls: the[...]library was kept so dull that no one over the age of ten much cared to borrow a volume from it. And, b[...]it was necessary to obtain information on matters of sex; for girls most of whom were well across the threshold of womanhood the subject had an invincible fascinati[...]these were required to commit to memory the name of every bone and artery in the body, yet all that r[...]big girls, for instance, round the physical feat of bringing a child into the world, would have supplied material for a volume of fairytales. On many a summer evening at this time, in a nook of the garden, heads of all shades might have been seen pressed as close together as a cluster of settled bees; and like the humming of bees, too, were the busy whisperings and subdued buzzes of laughter that accompanied this hot discussion of the“how” — as a living answer to which, each of them would probably some day walk the worl[...] |
| On the other hand, of less profitable information they had amassed a go[...]who came from up-country could tell a lively tale of the artless habits of the blacks; others, who were at home in mining to[...]Chinese camps — those unavoidable concomitants of gold-grubbing settlements; rhymes circulated that[...]— it had little in common with the opener grime of the ordinary schoolboy — did not even widen the outlook of these girls. For it was something to hush up and[...]peared unnatural. Thus, not the primmest patterns of family life could hope for mercy in their eyes; o[...]rigorists, was held to leave his serpent's trail of desire. For out of it all rose the vague, crude picture of woman as the prey of man. Man was animal, a composite of lust and cruelty, with no aim but that of brutally taking his pleasure: something monstrous[...]s disposal. As long as it was solely a question of clandestine knowledge and ingenious surmisings, L[...]n but highly sensitised plate. And partly because of her previous entire ignorance, partly because of her extreme receptiveness, she soon outstripped her comrades, and before long, was one of the most skilful improvisers of the group: a dexterous theorist: a wicked little[...]For the invisible yeast that brought this ferment of natural curiosity to pass, was the girls' intense[...]red for an outlet; an interest which, in the life of these prospective mothers, had already usurped th[...]n the other hand, had so far had scant experience of boys of a desirable age, nor any liking for such as she h[...]were“silly” — feckless creatures, in spite of their greater strength and |
| [...], like Godmother's Erwin and Marmaduke. No breath of their possible dangerous fascination had hitherto[...]an experience that came her way, at the beginning of the autumn was of the nature of an awakening. |
| of honour! — And I've promised him to ask aunt if[...]ect you to be or to do. Bob was a beautiful youth of seventeen, tall, and dark, and slender, with milk[...]eyes; and Laura's mouth dried up when she thought of perhaps having to be sprightly or coquettish with[...]you don't care to look nice, you know . . .” Of course she did; she was burning to. She even accepted the loan ofof their hats; and she led the way to her aunt's bedroom. Laura, though she had her share of natural vanity, was too impatient to do more than[...]tory glance at her reflected self. At this period of her life when a drive in a hired cab was enough of a novelty to give her pleasure, a day such as the[...]vish use, after the little swing-glass at school, of the big mirror with its movable wings; she |
| [...]n short, blind and deaf to all but the perfecting of herself — this rather mannish little self, whic[...]n. — Now if only we're lucky enough to get hold of a man or two we know!” The air, Australian ai[...]was incredibly crisp, pure, buoyant. From the top of the eastern hill the spacious white street sloped[...]her they descended, the fuller it grew — fuller of idlers like themselves, out to see and to be seen. Laura cocked her chin; she had not had a like sense of freedom since being at school. And besides, was n[...]ing for her, and expecting her? This was the clou of the day, the end for which everything was making; yet of such stuff was Laura that she would have felt rel[...]moment have been spun out indefinitely. The state of suspense was very pleasant to her. As for Tilly, that young lady was swinging the shoulders atop of the little waist in a somewhat provocative fashion, only too conscious of the grey- blueness of her fine eyes, and the modish cut of her clothes. She had a knack which seemed to Laura both desirable and unattainable: that of appearing to be engrossed in glib chat with her c[...]rd Laura said, and ogled everyone who passed, out of the tail of her eye. They reached the“block”, that strip of Collins Street which forms the fashionable promenade. Here the road was full of cabs and carriages, and there was a great crowd o[...]-shop round the corner. There were a large number of high-collared young dudes, some Trinity an[...] |
| [...]s were crowned with success: she managed, by dint of glance and smile combined, to unhook a youth of her acquaintance from a group at a doorway, and t[...]was accomplished, she set about the real business of the morning — that of promenading up and down. She had no longer even a[...]lly almost at once. Alas! there was no question of his waiting longingly for her to appear. He was w[...]the throng. Behind her hand Tilly buzzed:“One of those Woodwards is awfully sweet on him. I bet he can't get loose.” This was a drop of comfort. But as, at the next encounter, he still[...]expected that he would prefer her company to that of the pretty, grown-up girls he was with? — as he again sidled past, Tilly, who had given him one of her most vivacious sparkles, turned and shot a gl[...]and, since Tilly seemed disposed to lay the blame of his lukewarmness at her door, Laura glued[...] |
| [...]uriously racked her brains. Oh, for just a morsel of Tilly's loose-tonguedness! One after the other she considered and dismissed: the pleasant coolness of the morning, the crowded condition of the street, even the fact of the next day being Sunday — ears and cheeks on[...]ura in a small voice, and was extremely conscious of her own thirteen years. “Simply stunning! Th[...]king. — Her own waist was coarse, her knowledge of tennis of the slightest. “Ra-ther! Overhand, with a cu[...]as a back drive, too, by Jove, that — you play, of course?” “Oh, yes.” Laura spoke up manfu[...]uncture his attention was diverted by the passing of a fine tandem; and as soon as he brought i[...] |
| out for her there; but he did nothing of the kind. His answer was to the effect that this[...]this time all but been successfully educated out of her, Laura was never shyer with strangers than at[...]word you said could be listened to by a tableful of people. Then, too, her vis-à- vis was a small sharp child of five or six, called Thumbby, or Thumbkin, who onl[...]edged male tease. — He was, besides, very hairy ofof D.T.'s beginning already? They're not due, you kn[...]. Ra . . . Rambotham, are you aware that this son of mine is a professed lady- killer?” |
| Laura and Bob went different shades of crimson. “Why has she got so red?” the chil[...]in the cats!” — which appeared to be his way of changing the subject. It seemed, after this, as though the remainder of lunch might pass off without further hitch. Then however and all ofof:“I'll cut you, pa, into little bits!” had die[...]replied that she did. “Then I've the pleasure of knowing your mother. — Tall dark woman, isn't she?” Under the table, Laura locked the palms of her hands and stemmed her feet against the floor.[...]m all, and Bob in particular, the shameful secret of the embroidery to come to light? She could[...] |
| [...]do to mollify Tilly, who was enraged to the point of tears.“I've never worn a bustle in my life! Unc[...]re alone together. But even less than before came of their intercourse: Bob, still smarting from his f[...]roughly unsure to begin with, by the jocular tone of the luncheon-table, had not recovered from the shock of hearing her parentage so bluffly disclosed. And since, at this time, her idea of the art of conversation was to make jerky little remarks whi[...]est success. He infected Laura; and there the two of them sat, doing their best to appear unconscious of the terrible spasms which, every few seconds, dis[...]e drawing-room it had been decided that the three of them should go for a walk. As the sky was overcas[...]; and the jokes that were extracted from the pair of words lasted the walkers on the whole of their outward way; lasted so long that Lau[...] |
| [...]g people went into Bourke Street, where, for want of something better to do, they entered the Eastern[...]as a smell, too, an extraordinary smell, composed of all the individual smells of all these living things: of fruit and vegetables, fresh and decayed; of flowers, and butter, and grain; of meat, and fish, and strong cheeses; of sawdust sprinkled with water, and freshly wet pavements — one great complicated smell, the piquancy of which made Laura sniff like a spaniel. But after[...]those about the umbrella; and Laura grew so tired of them, and of pretending to find them funny, that her temper al[...]flicker, for Bob had laid his arm along the back of the seat. Then she saw that he had done this just[...]she sat down beside a girl with a very long plait of hair and small, narrow eyes, who went by the name of “Chinky”. Chinky was always making up[...] |
| XV. FOR days Laura avoided even thinking of this unlucky visit. Privately, she informed herse[...]for Bob's notice or admiration, had never thought of him but as a handsome cousin of Tilly's who sat in a distant pew at St Stephen's-[...]ed to worm herself into his favour, seemed to her of a monstrous injustice. But, all the same, had she[...]knew how desirable he was. Having been the object of glances from those liquid eyes, of smiles from those blanched-almond teeth, she foun[...]her mind. How the other girls would have boasted ofof this kind to her intimates; but Chinky, could be[...], as gratefully as Lazarus his crumbs; and a mark of confidence, such as this, would sustain he[...] |
| [...]im, chicken.” “But you don't have anything of him that way,” objected Laura. Maria laughed[...]t another boy. As for a kiss, if he gets a chance of one he'll take it you can bet your bottom dollar[...]old Shepherd's sermons? You loony, it's only for getting lollies, and letters, and the whole dashed fun of the thing. If you go about too much with one, you[...]grandmother to suck eggs.” But, despite this wisdom, Laura could not determine how Maria would have a[...]he elder girl had said nothing about another side of the question, had not touched on the sighs and si[...]and others employ. There was a regular machinery of invitation and encouragement to be set in[...] |
| [...]be relied on to be wholly impartial, where a pair of magnificent eyes was concerned. Even Mr. Strachey[...]sage, to be laughingly confused. Laura was not, of course, the sole outsider in these things; sprink[...]rious others, older, too, than she, who by reason of demureness of temperament, or immersion in their work, stood al[...]re lost in the majority, and, as it chanced, none ofof pleasing, even though she felt a little abashed b[...]here was Bertha, for instance, Bertha who had one of the nicest minds of them all; and yet how frankly gratified she was, by the visible rounding of her arms and the curving of her bust. She spoke of it to Laura with a kind of awe; and her voice seemed to give hints of a coming mystery. Tilly, on the other hand, lived[...]sucking at lemons, and she put up with the pains of indigestion as well as a red tip to her nose; for[...]had managed to compress herself a further quarter of an inch, no praise on the part of her teachers equalled the compliments this earned[...]; serious admirers were not lacking, and with one of these, a young man some eight years older than herself, she had had for the past three months a sort of understanding. For her, as for so many others, th[...]was as purgatory before paradise. To top all, one of the day-scholars in Laura's class was actu[...] |
| [...]the goal. For this was the goal; and the thoughts of all were fixed, with an intentness that varied on[...]he had finished her education, but with a feeling of awe: it was still so distant as to be one dense blue haze; it was so vast, that thinking of it took your breath away: there was room in it fo[...]rom golden slippers to a Jacob's ladder, by means of which you would scale the skies; and with these m[...]went. In the meantime, despite her ape-like study of her companions, she remained where the other sex[...]d to bring up the rear with the governess and one of the little girls. Though their walk led them thro[...]ngs you did not care to tell — such as the size of your home, or the social position you occupied in[...]they climbed the Grand Stand and sat down in one of the back rows, to the rear of the other spectators. Before them sloped a steep bank of hats gaily-flowered and ribbon-banded hats — of light and dark shoulders, of alert, boyish profiles and pale, pretty faces — a representative gathering of young Australia, bathed in the brilliant March li[...]eur occurred. During an interval in the game, one of the girls asked the governess's leave to s[...] |
| [...]—“like sloes,” Chinky said, though neither of them had any clear idea what a sloe was. Still,[...]yes, and almost white flaxen hair. She took heart of grace. “I s'pose you often come here?” she[...]he looked at her; but doubtfully, from the height ofofof the Stand. — Miss Snodgrass seemed to repress a[...]ay I have. An' you, too. You're the little sister of |
| [...]her if I didn't?” retorted the boy, in the tone of:“What a fool question!” He also seemed to have been on the point of adding: “Goose,” or“Sillybones.” The li[...]y coldly: Chinky had no doubt also been a witness of her failure. The girl squeezed past and shared[...]at this. She found it in the worst possible taste of Chinky to try to console her. “Wouldn't you like to wear a ring on one of them?” “No, thanks,” said Laura, in the s[...]reply, as she returned to her stony contemplation of the great sunlit expanse. She was sure Miss Snodgrass, on getting home, would laugh with the other governesses over what had occurred — if not with some of the girls. The story would leak out and come to T[...]minutes, she could be put in the shade by a child of |
| [...]ary — and that was more than could be said even of the music- masters. In regard to them, pressures of the hand, as well as countless nothings, were exp[...]d, in the bi-weekly reports you rendered to those of your friends who followed the case. Whereas for t[...]and grew greatly in earnest, his mouth had a way of opening as if it meant to swallow the church — and Laura was by no means his sole admirer. Several of her friends had a fancy for him, especially as hi[...]induce your imagining to become reality. By dint of pretending that it was so, she gradually worked herself up into an attack of love, which was genuine enough to make her redden when Mr. Shepherd was spoken of, and to enjoy being teased about him. And since,[...]twithstanding her protested indifference to forms of worship — such emotional accessories as flowers[...]ot alone homage due to the Deity, but also a kind of minor homage offered to and accepted by Mr. Sheph[...]s not difficult to believe yourself the recipient of personal notice. At home during the winter holi[...]tway it occurred to Mother that he was the nephew of an old friend whom she had long lost sight of letters passed between Warrenega and Melbourne, a[...]at Mr. Shepherd's house. In the agitated frame of mind this threw her into, she did not know |
| whether to be glad or sorry. Her feelings had, of late, got into such a rapt and pious muddle that[...]ged up the garden with an arm thrust through each of hers. Mr. Shepherd's holy calling and spiritual a[...]the blackest interpretation was put on the matter of the visit. “Nice things you'll be up to, the pair of you — oh, my aunt!” ejaculated Maria. “I[...]ed for, on Saturday morning, by the maiden sister of her divinity. Miss Isabella Shepherd was a fair,[...]to you; so that the impression she made was that of a perpetual friendliness, directed, however, not[...]mpanion to a closer scrutiny, and from the height of thirteen years had soon taxed her with being a fr[...]alled Robby? — Laura blushed. But at the head of the stairs they were brought up short by M[...] |
| [...]she was very kind, and in the bedroom insisted on getting out a clean towel for Laura. “Now we'll go do[...]not take their seats: they stood about, in a kind of anxious silence. This lasted for several minutes;[...], and at length there was a loud, impatient shout of:“Maisie!” Both ladies were perceptibly flur[...]ge-whisper; while Mrs. Shepherd, taking the front of her dress in both hands, set out for the stairs w[...]s for running. A minute or two later the origin of the fluster came in, looking, it must be confesse[...]nd so this is the young lady fresh from the halls of learning, is it?” he asked, after a mumbled gra[...]na, jubes renovare dolorem — isn't that the way of it? And then . . . let me see! It's so long since[...]mpty. “Yes, yes, here we are again! Not a scrap of mustard on the table.” — His voice was[...] |
| [...]er and the glasses as well,” snarled the master of the house, who had run a flaming eye over the tab[...]left Laura wondering why, considering the dearth of time, and the distress of the ladies at each fresh contretemps, they did no[...]mselves — as Mother would have done — instead of each time ringing the bell and waiting for the appearance of the saucy, unwilling servant. As it turned out, h[...]ained to Laura — never offered her a thimbleful of help. “My sister-in-law is nothing of a manager,” she said.“But we still trust she[...]But Robby's patience is angelic.” And Laura was of the same opinion, since the couple had been marri[...]rs. The moment the meal, which lasted a quarter of an hour, was over, Mr. Shepherd clapped on his sh[...]his opened up a dazzling prospect, with the whole of Melbourne before one. But Laura was too polite to[...]ly unused smell in the rooms that betokens a lack of children. Laura did not dislike the quiet, and sa[...]Not, however, that she was really within hundreds of miles of Melbourne; for the wonderful book that she[...] |
| class of working-men was momently expected, and Robby had just time to gulp down a cup of tea. Nor could he converse; for he was obliged to spare his throat. Afterwards the three of them sat listening to the loud talking overhead.[...]book, but her eyes were still visionary. When any of the three spoke, it was in a low tone. Towards[...]e explained:“It must boil, but not have a scrap of skin on it, or Robby won't look at it.” Prese[...]phen's-on-the-Hill, and in the afternoon made one of Isabella's class at Sunday school. That morning she had wakened, in what seemed to be the middle of the night, to find Isabella dressing by the light of a single candle. “Don't you get up,” said t[...]ut at nine o'clock that evening, when the labours of the day were behind him, he was persuaded to lie down on the sofa and drink a glass of port. At his head sat Mrs. Shepherd, holding the[...]l his querulousness was forgiven him for the sake of this moment. Then, finding a willing listener in[...]s travels, giving, in particular, a vivid account of some months he had once spent in Japan. Laura, wh[...]ng at second hand — since any other way was out of the question — Laura spent a delightful[...] |
| [...]y a word about it; he won't have it mentioned out of the house. — And meanwhile he's working as hard[...]y said we were to ask you. I've had no experience of little girls. But you haven't been the least trou[...]ra, whose mind was set on a good, satisfying slab of cake, promised to do this, although her feelings[...]led two ways: on the one side was the remembrance of Mr. Shepherd hacking cantankerously at the bare m[...]on the other, the cherry-blossom and the mousmés of Japan. |
| [...]nicht, was Wahrheit ist.Nietzsche A PANTOMIME of knowing smiles and interrogatory grimaces greeted[...]er mouth, she joined her class. For the twinkling of an eye Laura hesitated, being unprepared. Then, h[...]as a comic actor to resist pandering to the taste of the public, she yielded to this hunger for spicy happenings, and did what was expected of her: clapped her hands, one over the other, to he[...]gh, since seeing her friends last. In the thick of this message she was, unluckily, caught by Dr Pughson, who, after dealing her one of his butcherly gibes, bade her to the blackboard, to grapple with the Seventh Proposition. The remainder of the forenoon was a tussle with lessons not glance[...]osing rather to trust for inspiration to the spur of the moment. Morning school at an end, she was laid hands on and hurried off to a retired corner of the garden. Here, four friends squatted round, de[...]an facts — and this she would have been capable of doing with some address; for she had looked through her hosts with a perspicacity uncommon in a girl of her age; had once again put to good use those 'sh[...]d man, who nagged like any woman, and made slaves of two weak, adoring ladies; and she very well knew[...]in future alighted on Mr. Robby, she would think of him pinching and screwing, with a hawk-like eye on a shadowy bishopric. Of her warm feelings for him, genuine or imaginary, not a speck remained. The first touch of reality had sunk them below her ken, just as a drop of cold water sinks the floating grounds in a coffee[...]nfess this, confess also that, save for a handful of monosyllables, her only exchange of words with him had been a line of Virgil; and, still more humbling, that she[...] |
| she would forfeit every sou of the prestige the visit had lent and yet promised[...]edatory faces that hemmed her in. Tilly's was one of them: the lightly mocking smile sat on it that Laura had come to know so well, since her maladroit handling of Bob. She would kill that smile — and if she had[...]ng her steps. Especially as she had not the ghost of an idea how to begin. Meanwhile cries of impatience buzzed round her. “She doesn't wan[...]rd. — “But, mind, you must never utter a word of what I'm going to tell you. It's a dead secret, a[...]at'd he do?” “And what about his old sketch of a wife?” “Her? Oh” — and Laura s[...] |
| “Guess he's pretty sick of being tied to an old gin like that?” “I sho[...]just despises her.” “Well, why in the name of all that's holy did he take her?” Laura cast[...]lowered her voice. “Well, you see, she had lots ofof the four faces,“he comes of a most distinguished family. His father was a lor[...]y against his father's will and so he cut him out of his will.” “I say!” “Oh, never mind t[...]der an awful obligation to her, and all that sort of thing, you know.” “And she drives it home,[...]a ghoul!” “He'd do just anything to get rid of her, but — Girls, it's a dead secret; you must swear you won't tell.” Gestures of assurance were showered on her. “Well, he's t[...]“And I suppose he can't divorce her, because of that?” “No, of course not. He'll have to drag her with hi[...] |
| [...]ad gone before. — But by now she was at the end of her tether. Here, fortunately for Laura, the di[...]from their scattered seats, they exchanged looks of understanding, and their cheeks were pink. In t[...]the daily walk was Kate Horner. Kate had been one of the four, and did not lose this chance of beating up fresh particulars. After those first[...]ave lurked in her hearers was soon got the better of. For, crass realists though these young colonials[...]permitted to interfere with the practical conduct of their lives than it is in the case of just that novel-reader, who puts untruth and unre[...]slower brains could not conceive the possibility of such extraordinarily detailed lying as tha[...] |
| [...]uty to do, Laura was obliged to develop this side of her narrative at the expense of the other. And the more the girls heard, the more[...]ad early turned Miss Isabella into a staunch ally of her own, in the dissension she had introduced int[...]should please the couple to emerge; saw the form of the verger moving about the darkening church, as[...]r inventions that Maria, who for all her boldness ofof the left hand.” “Yes. And Laura, I've thought of something to put inside. Semper eadem . .[...] |
| [...]or more, Laura fed like a honeybee on the sweets of success. And throve — even to the blindest eye.[...]lacking was now hers: the admiration and applause of her circle. And never was a child so spurred and[...]touch with her, had they wished to make the most of her, would no more have stinted with the necessar[...]nder the present stimulus she sat top in a couple of classes, grew slightly ruddier in face, and much[...]door,” cried Miss Day thickly, from behind one of the long, dining-hall tables, on which were ranged stacks and piles of clean linen. She had been on early duty since six[...]in the same indistinct voice: she was in the grip of a heavy cold, which had not been improved by the draughts of the hall. “I'm sorry, Miss Day. I thought I[...]e moments, and was threatening to assume the bulk of an early Victorian novel. But she now built at he[...]edifice for her own enjoyment; and the usual fate of the robust liar had overtaken her: she was beginn[...]her critical alertness, her careful surveillance of detail. For, just a day or two before, she had seen a quick flare-up of incredulity light Tilly's face, and |
| [...]n company with several others, was in the garden, gettingof joint.” “Mine? What do you mean?” queried Laura, and had a faint sense of impending disaster. “What I say. M. Pidwall's[...]to recover her wits. Sitting on the extreme edge of the bedstead, she stared at the objects in the ro[...]ips, rocked herself to and fro, after the fashion of an older woman in pain. The fact was too appall[...]his minute — drawn up in a line round the walls of the dining-hall. She saw them rise to wail out the hymn; saw Mr. Strachey on his chair in the middle of the floor, perpetually nimming with his left leg.[...]cene to herself, she shivered with a sudden sense of isolation: behind each well-known face lur[...] |
| [...]ht that crystallised. Anyone else! . . . from any of the rest she might have hoped for some mercy. But Mary Pidwall was one of those people — there were plenty such — before whom a nature like Laura's was inclined, at the best of times, to shrink away, keenly aware of its own paltriness and ineffectualness. Mary was[...]life in her; but it was neither fun nor vivacity of a kind that Laura could feel at ease with. Such c[...]cut were only skin-deep; they were on the surface of her character, had no real roots in her: just as the pieces of music she played on the piano were accidents of the moment, without deeper significance. To Mary, life was already serious, full of duties. She knew just what she wanted, too, where[...]dried. She was clever, very industrious, the head of several of her classes. Nor was she ever in conflict with the authorities: she moved among the rules of the school as safely as an egg-dancer among his e[...]seemed to pass her by. There was, besides, a kind of manly exactness in her habit of thinking and speaking; and it was this trait her[...]symbolise, in calling her by the initial letters of her name. She and Laura, though classmates, had[...]. It is true, Mary was sixteen, and, at that time of life, a couple of years dig a wide breach. But there was also another reason. Once, in the innocence of her heart, Laura had let the cat out of the bag that an uncle ofof a church dignitary.“I should say I did know him[...]nderstood that Uncle Tom — he needed but a pair of gold earrings to pose as the model for a Spanish[...]was good for him; but she had never suspected him of being“dreadful”, or a byword in Wantabadgery. Colouring to the roots of her hair, she murmured something about him of course not being recognised by the rest of the family; but M. P., she was sure, had n[...] |
| bring back a precise account of how matters stood in the Shepherd household: not[...]e her brain could contemplate the awful necessity of rising and branding herself as a liar, it sought desperately for a means of escape. For a wink, she even nursed the idea of dragging in a sham man, under the pretence that M[...]t, would not pass muster. Against it was the mass of her accumulated detail. She sat there, devising scheme after scheme. Not one of them would do. When, at tea-time, she rose to w[...]m overwork. — Oh, how she would rejoice to hear of it! And, if the worst came to the worst and she[...]aver, and quite determined to make a clean breast of her misdoings. Things could not go on like this. But no sooner was she plunged into the routine of the day than her decision slackened: it wa[...] |
| [...]ept her up; but afterwards she had a stinging fit of remorse; and her self-reproaches were every whit as bitter as those of the man who has again broken the moral law he has[...]so darkened by her belief that M. P. had got wind of her romancings: as, indeed, was quite likely; for[...]overhead, the indigo-blue was a prodigal glitter of stars — myriads of silver eyes that perforated the sky. They sparkled with a cold disregard of the small girl standing under the mulberry tree;[...]ce. Her thoughts ran on suicide, on making an end of her blighted career. God was evidently not going[...]she saw the fifty-five gaining on her like a pack ofof tongues shouted her guilt; |
| [...]hool that morning, Laura never knew. At the sight of the great stone building her inner disturbance wa[...]do look a bit peaky. I'm sure your stomach's out of order. Your should take a dose of castor-oil to-night, before you go to bed.” T[...]wnstairs; nothing could happen now till the close of morning school. But Laura signalised the beginning of her downfall, the end of her comet-like flight, by losing her place in one[...]prepared on Friday evening having gone clean out of her head. Directly half-past twelve struck, she ran to the top of the garden and hid herself under a tree. There sh[...]bout to face the scaffold, has ever had more need of Dutch courage than Laura in this moment. Peeping round the corner of the path she saw the fateful group: M. P. the centre of four gesticulating figures. She loitered till the[...]he instant Laura set foot in the hall, five pairs of eyes caught her, held her, pinned her down, as on[...]ly to a board. She was much too far gone to think of tossing her head and braving things out, now that[...]little liar!” “How's that shy little mouse of a girl we had here a month or two ago?”[...] |
| [...]word, if it hadn't been for you.” This point of view enraged them.“What? You want to put it on[...]y little skunk! To say we made you tell that pack of lies? — Look here: as long as you stay in this[...]nd to her. They probably only asked her there out ofof it,” cried Laura, maddened. — And retreating[...]school, she wept her full. They all, every girl of them, understood white lies, and practised them. They might also have forgiven her a lie of the good, plain, straightforward, thumping order.[...]get over, was the extraordinary circumstantiality of the fictions which with she had gulled them: to b[...]Even the grown-up girls heard a garbled version of the story. “Whyever did you do it?” one of them asked Laura curiously; it was a very[...] |
| [...]suffered was known by that name. To the majority of the girls Coventry was just a word in the geograp[...]er impression on their young minds than the story of Lady Godiva, which was looked upon merely as a na[...]for her behaviour. It was but another instance of how misfortune dogs him who is down, that Chinky[...]moment to bring further shame upon her. On one of the miserable days that were now the rule, when L[...]ng upstairs one afternoon, she met Jacob, the man-of-all-work, coming down. He had a trunk on his shoulder. Throughout the day she had been aware of a subdued excitement among the boarders; they had[...]appeared at either meal, curiosity got the better of her, and she tried to pump one of the younger girls. Maria came up while she was[...]as: she had taken half-a-sovereign from the purse of one of her room-mates. When taxed with the theft, she we[...], with this admission on her lips, she passed out of their lives, leaving Laura, her confederat[...] |
| the minds of most, liar and thief were synonymous. Laura ha[...]ean and disgusting”, and said so, stormily; but of course was not believed. Usually too proud to def[...]urned to the charge again and again; for the hint of connivance had touched her on the raw. But she st[...]roperty; if she could do the one, she was capable of the other; and her companions remained convinced[...]r fingers in some one's purse, she had, by a love of jewellery, incited Chinky to the theft. And so, a[...]holidays. She drew twenty-one strokes on a sheet of paper, which she pinned to the wall above her bed[...]send her back to school: if she said she was not getting proper food, that would be enough to put Mother u[...]e to come home under two or three weeks, for fear of infection. These weeks she was to spend, in company with Pin, at a watering-place down the Bay, where one of her aunts had a cottage. The news was welcome to Laura: she had shrunk from the thought of Mother's searching eye. And at the cottage there would be none of her grown-up relatives to face; only an old housekeeper, who was looking after a party of boys. Hence, when speech day was over, instead of setting out on an up- country railway journey, Laura, under the escort of Miss Snodgrass, went on board one of the steamers that ploughed the Bay. “I shoul[...]ove: she was in great good-humour at the prospect of losing sight for a time of the fifty-five.“You seem to be always in the du[...]ra dutifully waved her handkerchief from the deck of the Silver Star; |
| [...]d, she settled herself on her seat with a feeling of immense relief. At last — at last she was off.[...]fore she showed up there again. Now, she was free of them; she would not be humiliated afresh, would not need to stand eye to eye with anyone who knew ofof which they swam. The sky was a stretched sheet of blue, in which the sun hung a very ball of fire. But the steamer cooled the air as it moved; and none of the white-clad people who, under the stretched wh[...], felt oppressed by the great heat. In the middle of the deck, a brass band played popular tunes. At[...]ose and crossed to the opposite railing. A number of passengers went ashore, pushing and laughing, but[...]nting their noses at you, watched over the safety of the Bay — in the event, say, of the Japanese or the Russians entering the Heads p[...]as they had rounded this corner they were in view of the Heads themselves. From the distant cliffs the[...]ngerous: on one side, there projected the portion of a wreck which had lain there as long as Laura had[...]ike buildings lying asleep in the fierce sunshine of the afternoon; and, in due course, it stopped at[...]ouses, the fenced-in baths and great gentle slope of yellow sand: it stood in the bush, on the |
| [...]de the old woman in her linen sunbonnet, the body of the vehicle being packed full of groceries and other stores; and the drive began. Directly they were clear of the township the road as good as ceased, became a mere sandy track, running through a scrub of ti-trees. — And what sand! White, dry, sliding[...]ered, in which the wheels sank and stuck. Had one of the many hillocks to be taken, the two on the box[...]branches sweep over their backs. About a couple of miles out, the old woman alighted and slipped a r[...]through a paddock, but at a walking-pace, because of the thousands of rabbit-burrows that perforated the ground. Another slip-rail lowered, they drew up at the foot of a steepish hill, beside a sandy little vegetable garden, a shed and a pump. The house was perched on the top of the hill, and directly they sighted it they also[...]rty tone into her greeting; for her first glimpse of Pin had given her a disagreeable shock. It was as[...]o climbed the hill together, to the accompaniment of Pin's bubbly talk, Laura stole look after look at her little sister, in the hope of growing used to what she saw. Pin had never been[...]— as Laura phrased it to herself. Eleven years of age, she had at last begun to grow in earnest: her legs were as of old mere spindleshanks, but nearly twice as long;[...]t little body, perched above them, made one think of a shrivelled-up old man who has run all to paunch[...]ce, so bespattered was it with freckles. And none of your pretty little sun-kisses; but large, black,[...]should be so ugly; and as Pin, in happy ignorance of her sister's reflections, chattered on, La[...] |
| [...]st day; and there were pleasanter things to think of. And so, when they had had tea — with condensed[...]that was all that could be undertaken in the way of refreshment after the journey; washing your face and hands, for instance, was out of the question; every drop of water had to be carried up the hill from the pump[...]the bush: from the verandah there was a wide view of the surrounding country. Between the back of the house and the beach rose a huge sand-hill, sp[...]e useless impedimenta; for the sand was once more of that loose and shifting kind in which you sank at[...]u climbed. But then, sand was the prevailing note of this free and easy life: it bestrewed verandah an[...]ou carried it in your clothes; the beds were full of it; it even got into the food; and you were soon so accustomed to its presence that you missed the grit of it under foot, or the prickling on your skin, did[...]the beach you had laboriously attained the summit of the great dune, the sight that met you almost too[...]h away: as far as the eye could reach, the bluest of skies melting into the bluest of seas, which broke its foam-flecked edge against t[...]most wonderful beach in the world. What a variety of things was there! Whitest, purest sand, hot to th[...]surf at all; seaweeds that ran through the gamut of colours: brown and green, pearl-pink and coral-pi[...]which the breakers had left their echo; the bones of cuttlefish, |
| [...]per, and shaped like javelins. And, what was best of all, this beach belonged to them alone; they had[...]treasures with strangers; except the inhabitants of the cottage, never a soul set foot upon it. The chief business of the morning was to bathe. If the girls were alone[...], you applied your soles gingerly to the prickles of the rock; then plop! — and in you went. Pin often needed a shove from behind, for nowhere, of course, could you get a footing; but Laura swam with the best. Some of the boys would dive to the bottom and bring up weeds and shells, but Laura and Pin kept on the surface of the water; for they had the imaginative dread common to children who know the sea well — the dread of what may lurk beneath the thick, black horrors of seaweed. Then, after an hour or so in the water, home to dinner, hungry as swagmen, though the bill of fare never varied: it was always rabbit for dinne[...]week, and meat could not be kept an hour without getting flyblown. The rabbits were skinned and in the ste[...]ingers to her ears; for she believed the sizzling of the water, as the fish were dropped in, to be the shriek of the creatures in their death-agony. Except in bathing, the girls saw little of the boys. Both were afraid of guns, so did not go out on the expeditions which[...]sions. For these took place by night, off the end of the reef, with nets and torches; and it sometimes happened, if the surf were heavy, that one of the fishers was washed off the rocks, and only ha[...]e outside world, every evening, in the brief span of time between sunset and dark. Running up to the top of one of the hills, and letting her eyes range over sky an[...]s that were waking to life after the burning heat of the day: salt water, |
| [...]ough which she had ploughed her way. That was one of the moments she liked best, that, and lying in bed at night listening to the roar of the surf, which went on and on like a cannonade,[...]: the boys slept in the lean-to on the other side of the kitchen; old Anne at the back. For miles round, no house broke the solitude of the bush; only a thin wooden partition separated[...]ble bushrangers, from the vastness and desolation of the night, the eternal booming of the sea. Such was the life into which Laura now threw herself heart and soul, forgetting, in the sheer joy of living, her recent tribulation. But even the pu[...]; she had ceased to look up to Laura as a prodigy of wisdom, and had begun to hold opinions of her own. She was, indeed, even disposed to be critical of her sister; and criticism from this quarter was m[...]y scorn, from her espoused views. They were those of the school at which for the past half-year she ha[...]t say so outright; perhaps she was not even aware of it; but Laura gathered from her talk that a boy a[...]— And to Laura this was the most knockdown blow of all. One day it came to an open quarrel[...] |
| the reticent Laura some of those school-tales of which, in former holidays, she had been so prodig[...]ng to her heart's content, about the small doings of home. Laura listened to her with the impatient toleration of one who has seen the world: she really could not[...]o give you an extra shilling pocket-money, 'cause of it.” “Of course I'm pleased. Don't be so silly, Pin.”[...]ld Anne? Well, I just wonder what next! It's none of her dashed business.” “Oh, Laura!” began[...]words and tone.“Why, Laura, you're not ashamed of it, are you? — that mother does sewing?” —[...]were they not so often swollen with crying. “Of course not,” said Laura tartly.“But I'm bless[...]or you or anyone. I think you ought to be ashamed ofof the truth she cried bitterly. “I'm not[...] |
| [...]rah said last time you were home how fat you were getting.” “I'm sure I'm not,” said Laura, indign[...]'re a bad, wicked girl.” After this exchange of home truths, they did not speak to each other for[...]tted after the boys, who had dropped into the way of saying:“Come on, little Pin!” as they never s[...]s a pig-headed little ignoramus, as timid as ever of setting one foot before the other. And the rest of them would be just the same — old stick-in-the[...]eseen the day on which she would find herself out of tune with her home circle; with unthinking assura[...]ympathy: if Pin talked such gibberish at the hint of putting off an inquisitive old woman, what would[...]e alone — what would they all say to the tissue of lies Laura had spun round Mr. Shepherd, a holy man, a clergyman, and a personal friend of Mother's into the bargain? She could not blink th[...]which she was safe from the slings and shanghais of the world. And then there was another t[...] |
| unripe fruit; the fact that another of Sarah's teeth had dropped out without extraneous[...]all very well for a week or two, but, at the idea of shutting herself wholly up with such mopokes, of cutting herself off from her present vital intere[...]belonged. All her heart was there: in the doings of her equals, the things that really mattered — w[...]ides, could one who had experienced the iron rule of Mr. Strachey, or Mrs. Gurley, ever be content to go back and just form one of a family of children? She not, at any rate! Thus she lay, a[...]that this great boat was sailing off, with a load of lucky mortals, to some unknown, fairer world, whi[...]it was only the English mail going on to Sydney. Of Pin she preferred not to think; nor could she dwe[...]r on her reappearance; and since she had to think of something, she fell into the habit of making up might-have-been, of narrating to herself how things would have fallen[...]her ascetic hero the impetuous lover she had made of him. — In other words, lying prostrate on the sand, Laura went on with her story. When, towards the end of the third week, she and Pin were summoned[...] |
| [...]alth and vigour with every breath. She had need of it all when, the golden holidays over, she return[...]ance at her; on every face was painted a reminder of her moral inferiority; and even newcomers among t[...]a Rambotham was“not the thing”. This system of slight and disparagement was similar to what she[...]n thought, she never ceased to lay half the blame of what had happened on her companions' shoulders; a[...]came a rebel, wrapping herself round in the cloak of bitterness which the outcasts of fortune wear, feeding on her hate of those within the pale. Very well then, she said t[...]behaviour for many a day was, none the less, that of a footlicker; and by no sign did she indicate what she really was — a very unhappy girl. Like most rebels of her sex, she ardently desired to re-enter the fold of law and order; and it was to this end she worked,[...]A horrid little toady was the verdict; especially of those who had no objection |
| [...]to weigh her words before uttering them, instead of blurting out her thoughts in the childish fashion[...]particularly if her feelings ran counter to those of the majority. For, the longer she was at school,[...]ajority is always in the right. In the shifting of classes that took place at the year's end, she left the three chief witnesses of her disgrace — Tilly, Maria, Kate — behind her. She was again among a new set of girls. But this little piece of luck was outweighed by the fact that, shortly aft[...]idwall's presence. For Mary knew not only the sum of her lies, but also held — or so Laura believed — that she came of a thoroughly degenerate family; thanks to Uncle T[...]adamant, unrelenting; Laura quailed at the sound of her step. And yet she soon felt, rightly enough, it was just in the winning over of this stern, rigid nature that her hope of salvation lay. If she could once get M. P. on her[...]— to Mary, who took none but the barest notice of her, even in the bedroom ignoring her as if she d[...]ving the necessary orders, for she was the eldest of the three, in tones of ice. But it needed a great wariness on Laura's pa[...]disdain for the cringer, knowing nothing herself of the pitfalls that lie in wait for a temper[...] |
| [...]what she said, and stick manfully to it, instead of, at the least hint, being ready to fly over to Mary's point of view: always though, of course, with the disquieting proviso in the backg[...]nobtrusive services, to which she thought neither of the girls could take exception; making their beds[...]n those classes that called only for the exercise of her memory, she soon sat high. The reason why she[...], and was not to be moved, even had Laura dreamed of attempting it. And at length, after three months of unremitting exertion in the course of which, because she had little peeps of what looked like success, the rebel in her went t[...]ard she out-heroded Herod, in her efforts to make of herself exactly what Mary thought she ought to be[...]icked against Mary's authority, been contemptuous of her unimaginative way of seeing and saying things, on the alert to[...] |
| of the few in the school who loved reading for its o[...]school-booky way, and hence was not thought much of. However, Laura felt drawn to her at once — eve[...]girl — and they sometimes got as far as talking of books they had read. From this whiff of her, Laura was sure that Cupid would have had more understanding than M. P. for her want of veracity; for Cupid had a kind of a dare-devil mind in a hidebound character, and was often very bold of speech. Yet it was not Cupid's good opinion she worked for, with might and main. The rate of her upward progress in Mary's estimation could be[...]day came when the elder girl spoke openly to her of her crime. At the first merciless words Laura winced hotly, both at and for the tactlessness of which Mary was guilty. But, the first shameful stab over, she felt the better of it; yes, it was a relief to speak to some one of what she had borne alone for so long. To speak of it, and even to argue round it a little; for, lik[...]iminals, did not divine that this was just a form of self-indulgence. It was Cupid who said:“Look here, Infant, you'll be getting cocky about what you did, if you don't look out.” Mary would not allow that a single one of Laura's excuses held water. “That's the shee[...]way that so impressed Laura. — And this aspect of the case, which had never once occurred to her, l[...]Mary spoke, with the same fireless depreciation, of the behaviour of a classmate which had been brought to her notice[...]fariously“copied” from another, in the course of a written examination; and, as prefect ofof what's being said, I must tackle her. Just[...] |
| [...]. P. was obliged to pause; for she had put a lock of hair between her teeth while she did something to[...]crams! Have you ever thought, pray, what a state of things it would be, if we all went about telling[...]ad never happened.” “You've a queer notion of what's funny. Have you utterly no respect for the truth?” “Yes, of course I have. But I say” — Laura, who always slipped quickly out of her clothes, was sitting in her nightgown on the edge of the bed, hugging her knees.“I say, M. P., if ev[...]h. Can you do away with the Bible, pray?” “Of course not. But M. P. . . . The Bible isn't quite[...]lieve in the Bible?” Laura drove back the:“Of course not!” that was all but over her l[...] |
| [...]any state, or laws, or any social life. It's one of the things that makes men different from animals,[...]r. — As for you, Infant, if you take the advice of a chap who has seen life, you'll keep your[...] |
| [...]s invited to join the boarders' Literary Society; of which Cupid and Mary were the leading spirits. This carried her back, at one stroke, into the swing of school life. For everybody who was anybody belong[...]ociety. And, despite her friendship with the head of her class, Laura still knew what it was to get th[...]o some extent her own fault. At the present stage of her career she was an extraordinarily prickly chi[...]ubt where no doubt was; and this wakeful attitude of suspicion towards others did not make for brotherly love. The amenity of her manners suffered, too: though she kept to her original programme of not saying all she thought, yet what she was forc[...]r imagination and her sympathies: under the aegis of M. P., she rapidly learned to be the latter's riv[...]t, Laura was well on the way towards becoming one of those uncomfortable people who, concerned only fo[...]hat she could make verses, and was also very fond of reading. At school, however, this taste had been[...]g in a clover field. Since Christmas, she was one of the few permitted to do morning practice on the g[...]; for this was the wonderful room round the walls of which low, open bookshelves ran; and she w[...] |
| [...]e shelves nearest the piano, it was in the nature of things that it was not invariably a happy one. Fo[...]er foods. To these must be reckoned a translation of Faust, which she read through, to the end of the First Part at least, with a kind of dreary wonder why such a dull thing should be cal[...]repast, she sought hard and it was in the course of this rummage that she had the strangest find of all. Running a skilled eye over the length of a shelf close at hand, she hit on a slim, blue volume, the title of which at once arrested her attention. For, notwit[...], and, I must say, extremely interesting, fashion of playing scales, Laura Rambotham! To hold, the for[...]from beginning to end!” Laura was unconscious of having sinned in this way. But it might quite wel[...]sy-turvy, though highly engrossing hour. In place of the children's story she anticipated, she had fou[...]in everyday happenings, so petty in its rendering of petty things, that it bewildered and repelled her[...]with realism, against such a dispiriting sobriety of outlook. Something within her wanted to cry out i[...]rried, and had children, and yet ate biscuits out of a bag and said she didn't; the man who called her[...]t irritating. — There was, moreover, no mention of a doll's house in the |
| whole three acts. The state of confusion this booklet left her in, she allayed with a little old brown leather volume of Longfellow. And Hyperion was so much more to her[...]t hung together, no doubt, with the after-effects of her dip into Ibsen that, on her sitting down to w[...]ety, her mind should incline to the most romantic of romantic themes. Not altogether, though: Laura's[...]ng gap to be bridged between her ready acceptance of the honourable invitation, and the composition of a masterpiece. Thanks to her wonted inability to[...]hts beyond the moment, she had been so unthinking of possible failure that Cupid had found it necessar[...]nging forth a word. First, there was the question of form: she considered, then abruptly dismissed, the idea of writing verses: the rhymes with love and dove, an[...]She decided on the novel. It should be a romance of Venice, with abundant murder and mystery in it, a[...]early enough, and could have related them by word of mouth; but did she try to write them down they ra[...]nd though she toiled quite literally in the sweat of her brow, yet when the eventful day came she had[...]day evening in an empty music-room. All were not, of course, equally productive: some had brought it n[...]and it was just these drones who, knowing nothing of the pother composition implied, criticised most stringently the efforts of the rest. Several members had pretty enoug[...] |
| [...]Cupid, who had a gift that threw Laura into a fit of amaze; and this was the ability to expand infinit[...]y no impression. She suffered all the humiliation of a flabby fiasco, and, till bedtime, shrank out ofof Scott! He couldn't have seen half he told[...] |
| [...]you, and write about what's before them every day of your life?” “Do you think that would be be[...]ed and scraggy, from the sheet; she had no wealth of words at her disposal in which to deck it out. So[...]n her, and prepared to make a faithful transcript of actuality. She called what she now wrote:“A Day[...]set down detail on detail; so fearful, this time, of over-brevity, that she spun the account out to twenty pages; though the writing of it was as distasteful to her as her reading of A Doll's House had been. At the subsequent meeting of the Society, expression of opinion was not lacking. “Oh, Jehoshaphat! H[...]reproached Cupid that night: she was on the brink of tears. But Cupid was disinclined to shoulder t[...]“But it was true what I wrote — every word of it.” Neither of the two elder girls was prepared to discuss this[...]nion is that you haven't any talent for this kind of thing. — Now turn off the gas.” As the light in the room went out, a kind of inner light seemed to go up in Laura; and both th[...]next literary contest she brought the description of an excursion to the hills and gullies that[...] |
| [...]incident which she described with all the aplomb of an eyewitness, had ever taken place. That is to say: not a word of her narration was true, but every word of it might have been true. And with this she had[...]choked back her desire to cry out that not a word of her story was fact. She was long in falling asl[...]ited by her success; but also a new and odd piece of knowledge had niched itself in her brain. It was[...]talk with others, you must be exact to the point of pedantry, and never romance or draw the lo[...] |
| [...]ND then, alas! just as she rode high on this wave of approbation, Laura suffered another of those drops in the esteem of her fellows, another of those mental upsets, which from time to time had thrown her young life out of gear. True, what now came was not exactly her own fault; though it is doubtful whether a single one of her companions would have made her free of an excuse. They looked on, round-eyed, mouths a-s[...]lf from the flock, and to cut mad capers in sight of them all. And their delectation was as frank as t[...]. The affair began pleasantly enough. A member of the Literary Society was the girl with the twinkly brown eyes — she who had gone out of her way to give Laura a kindly word after the She[...]rl, Evelyn Souttar by name, was also the only one of the audience who had not joined in the laugh prov[...]s a hand with this.” — Latin had not been one of Evelyn's subjects, and she was now employing some of her spare time in studying the language with Mr. Strachey, who taught it after a fashion of his own.“How on earth would you say: ‘We had[...]ol mean by that?” and she pushed an open volume of Robinson Crusoe towards Laura. Laura helped to the best of her ability. |
| [...]e following afternoon Laura wryly took up armfuls of her belongings, mounted a storey higher, and depo[...]nd out, avoiding the hours when Evelyn was there, getting up earlier in the morning, hurrying into b[...] |
| “Of course — didn't you know? Old Gurley said I'd n[...]umbfounded, and too diffident, to ask the grounds of such a choice. But the knowledge that it was so,[...]ad not got beyond a surface friendliness with any of her fellows. Even those who had been her “chums” had wandered like shades through the groves of her affection: rough, teasing Bertha; pretty, laz[...]ral influence, clever, instructive Cupid: to none of them had she been drawn by any deeper sense of affinity. And though she had come to believe, in the course of the last, more peaceful year, that she had grown[...]nstant give-and-take intimacy implies; the liking of others had to be brought to her, unsought, she, o[...]eturn the liking, with interest, after the manner of a lonely, bottled-up child. And everything about Evelyn made it easy to grow fond of her. To begin with, Laura loved pretty things and[...]ever, and that counted; you did not make a friend of a fool. But her chief characteristics were a certain sound common sense, and an inexhaustible fund of good-nature — a careless, happy, laughing sunni[...]t to be selfish, which also meant standing a fire of disagreeable words and looks; and then, too, it w[...]or one who had never had a whim crossed to be out of humour. But, whatever its origin, the good[...] |
| [...]ed, she even seemed to lay weight on Laura's bits of opinions, which the girl had grown so chary of offering; and, under the sunshine of this treatment, Laura shot up and flowered like a[...]eak out her thoughts again; she unbosomed herself of dark little secrets; and finally did what she wou[...]: sitting one night in her nightgown, on the edge of Evelyn's bed, she made a full confession of the pickle she had got herself into, over her vis[...]say, Kiddy, but that was rich. To think a chicken of your size sold them like that. It's the best joke[...]in this, the second telling, embroidered the edge ofof the miserable week she had spent, trying to make[...]l. “Tommyrot! Never mind that old jumble-sale of all the virtues. It was jolly clever of a mite like you to bamboozle them as you did — take my word for that.” This jocose way of treating the matter seemed to put it in an entire[...]— and Laura never heard her say a harder thing of anyone than what she had just said about M[...] |
| fashion, on the side of her friend's bed. Evelyn had all the accumulated wisdom of eighteen, and was able to clear her young compani[...]nd was still called on to suffer — at the hands of the other sex, Evelyn pooh-poohed the subject. “Time enough in a couple of years for that. Don't bother your head about it i[...]you know, they liked to talk to quite little kids of seven and eight better than me.” “Perhaps[...]ghed again — laughed in all the conscious power of lovely eighteen. Overjoyed at this oneness of mind, Laura threw her arms round her friend's nec[...]on this very head that she had to bear the shock of a rude awakening. Evelyn's people came to Melb[...]tle stern, and a young lady-friend. Only the four of them were present at dinner, and the meal passed off smoothly; though the strangeness of dining in a big hotel had the effect of tying Laura's tongue. Another thing that abashed her was the dress of the young lady, who sat opposite. This person — she must have been about the ripe age of twenty-five — was nipped into a tight little pink satin bodice, which, at the back, exposed the whole of two very bony shoulder-blades. But it was the front of the dress that Laura faced; and, having imbibed strict views of propriety from Mother, she wriggled on her[...] |
| [...]were in high frocks, behind. Evelyn made a face of laughing discontent.“It's so ridiculous the mater won't let me dress.” These words gave Laura a kind of stab.“Oh Evvy, I think you're ever so much nice[...]n up all right.” There had been some question of a person of this name at dinner; but Laura had paid no great[...]d a camellia-bud in his buttonhole. For the space of a breathless second Laura connected him with the[...]eatre and its movable roof, in the gay trickeries of the Mikado, slowly fizzled out. Evelyn had no mor[...]n the intervals, the two kept up a perpetual buzz of chat, broken only by Evelyn's low laughs. Laura s[...]shut behind them, she fell into a tantrum, a fit of sullen rage, which she accentuated till Evelyn co[...]Evelyn laughed a little at this, but with an air of humorous dismay.“I must take care, then,[...] |
| [...]rs, and cried as loudly as she dared, in the hope of keeping her companion awake. But Evelyn was a mag[...]down on the sill. It was a bitterly cold night, of milky-white moonlight; each bush and shrub carved[...]and grass. Across Evelyn's bed fell a great patch of light: this, or the chill air would, it was to be[...], feeling the cold intensely after the great heat of the day. She hoped with all her heart that she would be lucky enough to get an inflammation of the lungs. Then, Evelyn would be sorry she had be[...]ow? Oh, you wicked child, you'll catch your death of cold! Get into bed at once.” And, the[...] |
| [...]“LAURA, you're a cipher!” “I'm nothing of the sort!” threw back Laura indignantly. “You[...]rself. — What does she mean, Evvy?” she asked getting out of earshot of the speaker. “Goodness knows. Don't mind her[...]the streets, veiling things and people in clouds of gritty dust; the sky was still like the prolonged reflection of a great fire. The hoped-for change had not come, and the girls who strolled the paths of the garden were white and listless. They walked in couples, with interlaced arms; and members of the Matriculation Class carried books with them, the present year being one of much struggling and heartburning, and few leisure[...]id were together under an acacia tree at the gate of the tennis-court; and it was M. P. who had cast t[...]spot in their perambulation, a merry little lump of a girl called Lolo, who darted her head from side to side when she spoke, with the movements of a watchful bird — this Lolo called:“Evelyn, c[...]ut obeying the summons; for she felt Laura's grip of her arm tighten. “It's a secret. You must co[...]aw!” and both laughed derisively. The object of their scorn stood at the farther end of the wire-net fence: all five fingers of her right hand were thrust through the holes of the netting, and held oddly and unconsciously out[...]was balanced breast-high on the narrow wooden top of the fence. “Mark my words, that child[...] |
| [...]nd to externals, saw that her companions made fun of her. But at the present pass, the strength of her feelings quite out-ran her capacity for self-[...]e felt, and though it made her the laughing-stock of the school. What scheme was the birdlike Lolo hat[...]e. — And meanwhile the familiar, foolish noises of the garden at evening knocked at her ear. On the other side of the hedge a batch of third-form girls were whispering, with choked lau[...]ferent did the tongue trip over a certain letter. Of two girls who were playing tennis in half-hearted[...]lew, carrying with it, from the kitchens, a smell of cabbage, of fried onions, of greasy dish-water. Then Evelyn returned, and a part, a part only of the cloud lifted from Laura's brow. “What di[...]ou?” said Laura furiously. And for a full round of the garden she did not open her lips. Her comp[...]d at it, and were surprised at Evelyn's endurance of the tyranny into which Laura's liking had[...] |
| [...]you like that colour, Miss C.?” She had a nest of cloth-patterns in her lap, and held one up as she[...]but I think I like a bottle-green better.” “Ofof the first warehouses in the city.“I've been sav[...]e something decent this time. Besides, I know one of the men in the shop, and I'm going to make them d[...]ly be fondness, on her part, for the Byronic atom of humanity she had attracted to her. However that[...]eldom apart. Evelyn did not often, as in the case of the birdlike Lolo, give her young tyrant cause fo[...]them. On the whole, though, she was very careful of her little friend's sensitive spots. She did not repeat the experiment of taking Laura out with her; as her stay at school[...]the reason that, no matter how late it was on her getting back, she would find Laura obstinately sit[...] |
| [...]rdinarily suspicious; and the elder girl had need of all her laughing kindness to steer her way through the shallows of distrust. For a great doubt of Evelyn's sincerity had implanted itself in Laura's mind: she could not forget the incident of the “mostly fools”; and, after an evening of this kind, she never felt quite sure that Evelyn was not deceiving her afresh out of sheer goodness of heart, of course — by assuring her that she had had a“h[...]with her; when the truth was that, in the company of some moustached idiot or other, she had enjoyed herself to the top of her bent. On the night Laura learned that her[...]u're not going to marry that horrid man?” “Of course not, goosey. But that doesn't mean that I'[...]s about?” It was not so easy to say. She was of course reconciled, she sobbed, to Evelyn marrying[...]ort, Evelyn was to marry only to escape the odium of the single life. Having drawn this sketch of her future word by word from the weeping Laura, Evelyn fell into a fit of laughter which she could not stifle.“Well, Poppet,” she said when she could speak,“if that's your idea of happiness for me, we'll postpone it just a[...] |
| [...]breath —“I thought you liked me best.” “Of course I like you, you silly child! But that's al[...]s only as long as no man was in question. And out of the sting, Laura added:“Wait till I'm grown up, and I'll show them what I think of them — the pigs!” This time Evelyn had to hold her hand in front of her mouth. “No, no, I don't mean to laugh at yo[...]muddle. In this, the last and most momentous year of her school life, at the close of which, like a steep wall to be scaled, rose the u[...]she could link it to nothing else: in the middle of an important task, her thoughts would stray to co[...]or the evening, Laura gave up her meagre pretence of study altogether, and moodily propped her head in[...]ck Laura was startled, with a pounding heart, out of her first sleep; and lighting the gas she sat up[...]committing things to memory: the subsequent hours of sleep seemed rather to etch the facts into[...] |
| [...]ime drew, the more completely did the coming loss of Evelyn push other considerations into the backgro[...]o more strength to endure than the thin pretences of friendship she had hitherto played at. Evelyn and[...]in each other again; but their homes lay hundreds of miles apart; and the intimacy of the schooldays was passing away, never to return.[...]eed her. No, it was just a stupid, crushing piece of ill-luck, which happened one did not know why. Th[...]one can only bow one's head. — A further effect of the approaching separation was to bring home to her a sense of the fleetingness of things; she began to grasp that, everywhere and a[...]were perpetually rushing to a close; and the fact of them being things you loved, or enjoyed, was powerless to diminish the speed at which they escaped you. Of course, though, these were sensations rather than[...]ood to reason: no matter how fond two people were ofof relief in Evelyn, at the prospect of deliverance. But such delicate hints on the part of the hidden self are rarely able to gain a[...] |
| [...]at midwinter, Laura, together with the few dunces of her class, was ignominiously plucked. And[...] |
| [...]anything about“tests”; and Laura had no idea of enlightening her. She held her peace, and through[...]nation, having always lightly skimmed the surface of them on the wings of her parrot-like memory; hence, at home no one sus[...]aw chiefly rocks ahead. If she did not succeed in getting through the final examination in summer, she woul[...]'s eyes, have been for naught. For Mother was one of those people who laid tremendous weight on prizes[...]. Besides this, she could not afford in the event of a failure, to pay the school-fees for another yea[...]tle minds and bodies clamoured for a larger share of attention. And Laura's eyes were rudely opened to[...]oth ends meet, while her first-born was acquiring wisdom; for Mother spoke of it herself, spoke openly of her means and resources, perhaps with some idea of rousing in Laura a gratitude that had so far been[...]which covered days; in sitting moodily at the top of the fir tree which she climbed in defiance of her length of petticoat glaring at sunsets, and brooding on dea[...]g, solitary, evening walks, by choice on the heel of a thunderstorm, when the |
| red earth was riddled by creeklets of running water; till Mother, haunted by a lively fear of encounters with“swags” or Chinamen, put her f[...]er most frequent companion, had to bear the brunt of her acrimony: hence the two were soon at war again. For Pin was tactless, and took small heed of her sister's grumpy moods, save to cavil at them. Laura's buttoned- upness, for instance, and her love of solitude, were perverse leanings to Pin's mind; and she spoke out against them with the assurance of one who has public opinion at his back. Laura retaliated by falling foul of little personal traits in Pin: a nervous habit she had of clearing her throat — her very walk. They quarr[...]y, having branched as far apart as the end-points of what is ultimately to be a triangle, between whic[...]I will!” threatened Sarah, called by the noise of the scuffle.“Great girls like you — fightin'[...]is,” said Mother exasperated, and pushed a lock of hair off her perspiring forehead with the back of her hand.“All I say is, big girls as you are, you deserve to have the nonsense whipped out of you. — As for you, Laura, if this is your only[...]I wish from my heart you'd never seen the inside of that Melbourne school.” “How pretty your ey[...]oury!” said Laura, struck by the vivid contrast of black and white. She merely stated the fact, with[...]skilfully lifting and turning a large, thin sheet of paste. “You can't get round me like that[...] |
| [...]ted Laura, who inclined to charge the inhabitants of the township with an extreme provinciality.“And[...]tell stories, I suppose?” “Well, if a child of mine doesn't know the difference between being po[...]shame!” she wound up lamely, after the fashion of hot-tempered people who begin a sentence without[...]as roused to defend her present self, at the cost of her past perfections; and this gave rise to new dissensions. So that in spite of what she had to face at school, she was not altog[...]etic relations. She journeyed to Melbourne on one of those pleasant winter days when the sun shines fr[...]till night in a cloudless sky, and the chief mark of the season is the extraordinary greenness of the grass; returned a pale, determined, lanky girl, full of the grimmest resolutions. The first few days were like a bad dream. The absence of Evelyn came home to her in all its crushing force[...]en, she had been everywhere. There was now a kind of emptiness about the great school — except for m[...]dolatrous attachment to Evelyn had been the means of again drawing round her one of those magic circles, which held her schoolfellows at a distance. And the aroma of her eccentricity still clung to her. The members of her class were deep in study, too; little was now thought or spoken of but the approaching examinations. And her first g[...]bone, endeavouring to pack the conscientious work of twelve months into less than six. The da[...] |
| [...]ght when she lay wakeful, haunted by the prospect of failure, she turned over the leaves of her Bible — she had been memorising her weekly[...]. By chance she lighted on the Fourteenth Chapter of St John, and the familiar, honey-sweet words fell[...]ke caresses. Her tears flowed; both at the beauty of the language and out of pity for herself; and before she closed the Book, she knew that she had found a well of comfort that would never run dry. In spite of a certain flabbiness in its outward expression, deep down in Laura the supreme faith of childhood still dwelt intact: she believed, with her whole heart, in the existence of an all-knowing God, and just as implicitly in His[...]most, she had had recourse to Him for forgiveness of sin. Now, however, the sudden withdrawal of a warm, human sympathy seemed to open up a new us[...]it was for Him to fill this void with the riches of His love. — And she comforted herself for her previous lack of warmth, by the reminder that His need also was chiefly of the heavy-laden and oppressed. In the spurt of intense religious fervour that now set in for her[...]e, rather than to the remoter God the Father. For of the latter she carried a kind of Michelangelesque picture in her brain: that of an old, old man with a flowing grey beard, who sa[...]Christ, on the contrary, was a young man, kindly of face, and full of tender invitation. To this younger, tenderer Go[...]eased that she could not longer consume the smoke of her own fire: it overspread her daily life — to the renewed embarrassment of her schoolfellows. Was it then impossible, they a[...]ladylike way. Must she at every step put them out of countenance? It was not respectable to be so ferv[...]t. Whereas she committed the gross error in taste of, as it were, parading it outside her other clothe[...]indifferent did she grow to the people and things of this world. |
| [...]in. I will love Thee and serve Thee, all the days of my life, till death us do . . . I mean, only let[...]t do for Thee in return. Oh, dear Lord Jesus, Son of Mary, hear my prayer, and I will worship Thee and[...]ke, Amen.” It came to this: Laura made a kind of pact with God, in which His aid at the present ju[...]aining on her knees for such an immoderate length of time that her room-mates, who were sleepy, openly[...]rvice, or to shirk the minutest ceremony by means of which He might be propitiated and won over. Her prayers of greeting and farewell, on entering and lea[...] |
| [...]s; she did not doze or dream over a single clause of the Litany, with its hypnotising refrain; and she not only made the sign of the Cross at the appropriate place in the Creed, but also privately at every mention of Christ's name. Meanwhile, of course, she worked at her lessons with unflagging[...]by no means her intention to throw the whole onus of her success on the Divine shoulders. She overworked; and on one occasion had a distressing lapse of memory. And at length spring was gone and summe[...]h, she was not alone in her trepidation. The eyes of even the surest members of the form had a steely glint in them, and mouths w[...]ompulsory; high-steppers took nine. Laura was one of those with eight, and since her two obligatory ma[...]t. In the beginning, things, with the exception of numbers, went pretty well with her. Then came the[...]ry overtaxed, by her having had to cram the whole of Green's History of the English People in a few months, besides a large dose of Greece and Rome. Reports ran of the exceptionally “catchy” nature of Dr Pughson's questions; and Laura's prayer, the n[...]ide consideration, and Dr Pughson made short work of the intruder — a red-haired little girl,[...] |
| got to go, I suppose, or we might deprive the concert of your shining light. — Hurry back, now. Stir your stumps!” But this Laura had no intention of doing. In handling the printed slip, her lagging[...]st and most vital question:“Give a full account of Oliver Cromwell's Foreign Policy.” — And she[...]terview with the music-master, put questions wide of the point, insisted on lingering till he had arra[...]glish, she strove in vain to recall jot or tittle of Oliver's relations to foreign powers. — Oh, for just a peep at the particular page of Green! For, if once she got her cue, she believed[...]astily and clumsily button this inside the bodice of her dress. The square, board-like appearance it gave her figure, where it projected beyond the sides of her apron, she concealed by hunching her shoulder[...]verandah; and she was so overcome by the thought of the danger she had run, and by Miss Blount's extr[...]he door. From her friends' looks, she could judge of the success they were having. Cupid, for instance[...]eant satisfaction; M. P.'s cheeks were the colour of monthly roses. And soon Laura, crouching low to c[...]s she reflected, when she had got the easier part of the paper behind her. Why could it not have been[...]and Wills, or the Eureka Stockade, or the voyages of Captain Cook? . . . something about one's own country, that one had heard hundreds of times and was really interested in. Or a big, arresting thing like the Retreat of the Ten Thousand, or Hannibal's March over[...] |
| [...]ssed her hand to her eyes. She knew the very page of Green on which Cromwell's foreign relations were set forth; knew where the paragraph began, near the foot of the page: what she could not get hold of was the opening sentence that would have set her[...]looked up so unexpectedly that she was scared out of her senses, and fastened her dress again with all the haste she could. Three or four of the precious minutes were lost. At this point,[...]o the room. Dr Pughson blinked up from the stacks of papers, rose, and the two spoke in low tones. The[...]ly away, going down the verandah in the direction of the office. Now for it! With palsied hands she[...]p was given, she had covered the requisite number of sheets. Afterwards she had adroitly to rid herself of the book, then to take part — a rather pale-eye[...]en each candidate was as long-winded on the theme of her success, or non-success, as a card-player on his hand at the end of a round. Directly she could make good her[...] |
| [...]believe that He had helped her at all: His manner of doing it would have been so inexpressibly mean. B[...]d the conclusion that He had given her the option of this way, throwing it open to her and then standi[...]nclined she grew to think that it had been a kind of snare on the part of God, to trap her afresh into sin, and thus to pro[...]m always crawling to His feet. And from this view of the case her ingenuous young mind shrank appalled[...]o on loving and worshipping a God who was capable of double dealing; who could behave in such a“mean[...]orget His having forced her to endure the moments of torture she had come through that day. Lying on her bed, she grappled with these thoughts. A feeling of deep resentment was their abiding result. Whatever His aim, it had been past expression pitiless of Him, Him who had at His command thousands of pleasanter ways in which to help her, thus to dri[...]pted by selfish ends alone. What she had implored of Him touched Mother even more nearly than herself:[...]she would give Him His due — but at the expense of her entire self-respect. Oh, He must have a cold,[...]. could one only see right down into it. The tale of His clemency and compassion, which the Bible told[...]be interpreted literally: when one came to think of it, had He ever — outside the Bible — been kn[...]ions — the companions on whom, from the heights of |
| [...]was it possible for her to recover the shattering of her faith, and settle down to practise religion after the glib and shallow mode of her friends. She did not, however, say her prayer[...]e held her head erect, and shut the ears and eyes of her soul. |
| [...]hand, the fifth-form boarders, under the tutelage of a couple of governesses, drove off early in the morning to th[...]t the driver pushed his cigar-stump to the corner of his mouth, to be able to smile at ease, and flick[...]ughson's hands; and its accompanying details were of an agreeable nature: the weather was not too hot;[...]im. Then came the annual concert, at which none of the performers broke down; Speech Day, when the body of a big hall was crowded with relatives and friends[...]n the platform, that this looked like a great bed of blue and white flowers; and, finally, trunks were[...]ura, Cupid, and M. P. walked the well-known paths of the garden once again. While the two elder girls[...]d never wholly recovered her humour since the day of the history- examination; and she still could not[...]y in which she had placed herself one little turn of the wheel in the wrong direction, and the end of her schooldays would have been shame and disgrace. — And just as her discovery of God's stratagem had damped her religious ardour,[...]she had been obliged to employ had left a feeling of enmity in her, towards the school and ever[...] |
| was a kind of ache in her at having to say good-bye; for it was in her nature to let go unwillingly of things, places and people once known. Besides, gl[...], she was unclear what was to come next. The idea of life at home attracted her as little as ever —[...]itions she would be happy; she was conscious only of a mild sorrow at having to take leave of the shelter of years. Her two companions had no such doubts an[...]ast was already dead and gone; their talk was all of the future, so soon to become the present. They f[...]f in their power to do so, which is the hall-mark of youth. Laura, walking at their side, listened t[...]M. P. proposed to return to Melbourne at the end of the vacation; for she was going on to Trinity, wh[...]g. Then I shall probably be able to have a school of my own some day.” “I shouldn't wonder if yo[...]ed Mary, and set her lips in a determined fashion of her own.“Stranger things have happened.” Cupid, less enamoured of continual discipline, intended to be a writer.“[...]for your B.A.?” “No thanks! I've had enough of that here.” And Laura's thoughts waved their hands, as it were, to the receding figure of Oliver Cromwell. |
| [...].! I never want to hear a date or add up a column of figures again.” “Laura!” “It's the so[...]a single wish!” “Wish? . . . oh, I've tons of wishes. First I want to be with Evvy again. And then, I want to see things — yes, that most of all. Hundreds and thousands of things. People, and places, and what they eat, an[...]ged letters regularly, many-sheeted letters, full of familiar, personal detail. Then the detail ceased[...]timately even these ceased; and the great silence of separation was unbroken. Nor were the promises redeemed: there came to Laura neither gifts of books nor calls to be present at academic robings. Within six months of leaving school, M. P. married and settled down in[...]and thereafter she was forced to adjust the rate of her progress to the steps of halting little feet. Cupid went a-governessing, and spent the best years of her life in the obscurity of the bush. And Laura? . . . In Laura's case, no kindly Atropos snipped the thread of her aspirations: these, large, vague, extemporary[...]went out from school with the uncomfortable sense of being a square peg, which fitted into none of the round holes of her world; the wisdom she had got, the experience she was richer by, had, in the process of equipping her for life, merely seemed to disclose[...]seeming unfitness prove to be only another aspect of a peculiar and special fitness. But, of the after years, and what they brought her, it is not the purport of this little book to tell. It is enough to say: ma[...]ortals who feel cramped and unsure in the conduct of everyday life, will find themselves to rig[...] |
| [...]re the shadow is the substance, and the multitude of business pales before the dream. In the meantime, however, the exodus of the fifty-five turned the College upside-down.[...]ot to be on so imposing a scale as the departures of her schoolfellows. They, under special escort, wo[...]s in Melbourne on a visit, were to spend a couple of days at Godmother's before starting up-country. E[...]moment came, and Miss Chapman's mind was so full of other things that she went on giving orders while[...]ot destined to leave the walls, within the shadow of which she had learned so much, as tamely as all t[...]her. As she whisked about the corridors in search of Mrs. Gurley, she met two girls, one of whom said:“I say, Laura Rambotham, you're fetch[...]on-room Laura tried hard to see Pin with the eyes of a stranger. Pin rose from her chair — awkwardly, of course, for there were other people present, and[...]grudge Pin being pretty: it was only the newness of the thing that hurt — a keener stab was it that[...]epeatedly, and with all the stress she was master of, to come in a wagonette to fetch her, so that she might at least drive away like the other girls; in spite of this, the little nincompoop had |
| after all arrived on foot. Godmother had said the idea of driving was stuff and nonsense — a quite unnecessary expense. Pin, of course, had meekly given in; and thus Laura's las[...]like her companions came to naught. She went out of the school in the same odd and undignified fashio[...]ath, across the road, and over into the precincts of a large, public park. Only when they were some di[...]She was off, had darted away into the leaden heat of the December morning, like an arrow from its bow,[...]Pin was faced by the swift and rhythmic upturning of her heels. There were not many people abroad at t[...]half-grown girl in white, whose thick black plait of hair sawed up and down as she ran; and a man with[...]ing smaller and smaller in the distance, the area of her movements decreasing as she ran, till she app[...]d not much larger than a figure in the background of a picture. Then came a sudden bend in the[...] |
MD | |
| Created as a part of Australian Digital Collections (not attach[...] |
Richardson, Henry Handel, 1870-1946, The getting of wisdom (1998). University of Sydney Library, accessed 06/10/2024, https://digital.library.sydney.edu.au/nodes/view/12128